It seems as if the surf gods both read and enjoy the world's biggest little website.
As you know, I have not been allowed to watch nor see what Kelly Slater, the world’s greatest surfer, has been getting up to under quarantine as he blocked both BeachGrit and me personally on his medium of choice, Instagram.
Sad, lonely days etc. as Kelly Slater content made up a good third of ours.
Well, it seems as if the surf gods both read and enjoy the world’s biggest little website for just yesterday Slater paddled out for what he thought would be an enjoyable session at Avalon there just north of Newport (home to the Brothers Carrol Tom and Nick) when he was smote and greatly publicly shamed.
Since I am not allowed to watch nor see we must turn to Australia’s Channel Nine News for details surrounding his humiliation.
11-time world surfing champion Kelly Slater has had his board snapped in half after becoming tangled up in large swells off Sydney’s Avalon Beach.
With blustery conditions tearing through the city on Friday, swell at Avalon reached 10ft as a handful of surfers braved the weather to test their mettle in the monster conditions.
Widely considered the world’s greatest surfer, Slater was spotted among the pack off Avalon’s south rocks.
However, onlookers were quick to spot the great treading water between sets with his board snapped in two.
One half of the board became swept up in an oncoming wave and taken back to shore where it eventually settled in a rock pool.
The 11-time world surfing champion was mercifully unharmed but he should spend the next few days carefully considering his actions with much earnest humility for who knows what his next punishment may be if he refuses to acknowledge the great error in his ways.
But, real quick, Slater has now been in Australia for three, or so, months. I’d imagine longer than anywhere he’s been concurrently over the past two decades. Does that make him Australian now? Does the Lucky Country have a form of common law marriage with regards to citizenship?
Can he surf for the green and gold in Tokyo 2021?
He is, officially, above both the Brothers Wilson Owen and Julian in the rankings.
Would you have him?
This article is going down like a blind roofer, over at Instagram! Its classic the different clientele!!
Hard reach here. Just made me question how I’m spending my time.
Far left wing activist Kelly Slater is a puppet of the NWO. He rubs elbows with pedowood. Looks down on traditional families, Christians, Patriotic Americans. He preaches socialism and equality but his lame clothes and surfboards are manufacture by modern days slaves.
Should’ve used his firewire
Yehr. Because you’re starving and douse your wives with petrol before you set them alight for looking at their third cousin in a way that displeases you.
Goat curry
Chas I don’t wish to belittle or question the undeniable importance of your latest beef…but
We got around 3 billion people living in poverty
9 million die every year of starvation
10 million of cancer
We are battling a worldwide health and economic crisis, the worst in a hundred years
Just not sure God has time at the moment to join with us here, and deliver your justice and vengeance…but I can’t pretend to know much about such things
God is thinking of it like a to do list, getting the easy ones out of the way first to free up time for the important shit.
That actually makes a whole bunch of things suddenly make sense
Thanks
Hahahaha. .🤣😂😂🤣😂🤣
Yeah – like you don’t have some burner accounts – c’mon man!
Shhhhhh!
Australia put America’s greatest surfer on the nightly news, snapping boards… That’s our culture cringe in a nutshell!
lol I know a few murfers who would have him.
Out at longy Nick?
Yes.Boom boom boom.
Hellman!
Board?
superboard. 9’8” Christenson quad
Lucky lad!
Give us a report when you’re done
Please.
Hah!
Get the voice over guy in the Grit!
Kelly Slater’s contributions, influence and achievements to surfing > Beach Grit.
This article was a testament to how useless and insignificant surfing magazines are to surfing.
I’m friends with Chas and NOT friends with Kelly. Therefore…The Grit > Kelly.
A definite sign of intelligence.
Very astute observation. Well done.
I sincerely doubt that I value your accolade.
Doubt yourself no more. I’ve been accolading on this site since its inception.
“Accolading” isn’t a word. Self-congratulating is. Other apt phrases may be, “I self-converse,” “I self-blather,” “I carry on mutiple conversations online with myself under multiple personalities to make my website look like my bait-click shizzle fools someone.” Pick and choose.
“Accolading” may not be a word NOW but I am excited for its potential.
It has a real solid chance…dontcha think?
No, I don’t think illiteracy has much potential, frankly. But that’s just me. You cretins can misspell, create unimaginative and lazy words, blather on about whatever you want and the world will more than likely never notice. Whatever happened to that piece of gold about “picking my bf’s board up and trying to park at Ricon”? That was one for the fucking annals, that gem.
Chas has friends?
Admirers. Devotees. Sycophants…
Yeah, so here’s his beef. It’s starts in the depths of its patheticness/pathenticy. Neither of those are words, but they should be. Dudes churn bait-clicks by talking with and publishing the words of a stark-raving mad doorway-camper and jail-cell adherent that used to surf amateurs with us around a trillion years ago. Newfound needle-program star is shameless in his ascenscion to click-bait fame and lashes out. At quite a few people. Click-bait Hos are all happy with online moral boundaries being crossed, readily support it and refuse to delete it, until they catch whiff of what was coming down the pipe. Then they did. It didn’t matter. Some of us know how to drag the depths of the internet swamp they encourage to fester, somehow thinking that’s entertainment.
That was good! Seriously.
Thanks.
Translate that for us.
Which part?
Why would I?
Based upon general illiteracy or nosy goofs who’d like to access information that doesn’t concern them? There are two entirely different outlines, accordingly.
No worries, it dosent concern
Facepalm. You used to write moving pieces about tense situations in forlorn, war-torn corners.
Saw a clip of him getting some tooobs at what I thought was deadmans today but come to think of it, it couldn’t have been. Then I found $50.
https://youtu.be/m0D1tykrqkM
Fuck that. Merewether looking a lot more manageable today 😐 https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Looks sweet.
Just been out here. https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
What my morning looked like https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
a nice step in that!!
brownwater was shithouse, should’ve seen around the corner mate
I had fun.
Whiterock would have been pumping – takers??
No good.
Nah no good man, swell was too big for it
is that some fucker on a foil????
Sup
Why do they call it deadmans?
Cause no ladies go there
Still has fins??
I watched Dayan Neve play with this as big as it gets as a teenager.
Hairy
Cunt of a place
I couldn’t have surfed it in my best day. Love the Bower though.
LA it was
I love finding money
God’s doing Chas’ work now.
HAAHA, is that voiceover a joke? I thought Oz had been bought out by the Chinese, not Bangladeshis?
WTF 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Indians have actually overtaken the immigration.