With a bullet!
A BeachGrit podcast criticizing Kelly Slater’s environmentalism has prompted a string of social media blocks from the world’s greatest surfer in which he may have derided his critics as “loser types” either internally or out loud.
While social media blocks are common for the eleven-time world champ, this series has the flavor of personal grudge. The podcast, called Dirty Water ep. 7, was produced by a group of Kelly Slater’s biggest fans, Chas Smith and Derek Rielly whom prominently co-founded a magazine Slater once boycotted.
In the episode, co-starring Steve “Longtom” Shearer, Chas Smith riffed on former 1984 champion, Tom Carroll, and what a quiet, non-pollutive life he lives.
In contrast, Dirty Water ep. 7 had Longtom opening with, “Bill Finnegan is going to write a hundred words on Kelly Slater, what’s going to be in the first sentence?”
“Greatest surfer of all time,” said Chas.
“Loves Instagram,” Derek said.
“What else?” asked Longtom. “Starts with E.”
“Empath?” said Chas
Longtom boomed, “Environmentalist! That’s how the world knows him!”
“Everything Kelly does has an eco-centric point in it. But, for reals, Kelly Slater has done more damage to the earth than any non-politician of the last decade. That man has travelled, spewing carbon into the atmosphere, the amount of surfboards he’s chewed through, he’s the most damaging human of the last ten years.” Chas leaned in.
“And draining the Coolum wetlands to build a canal estate makes him number one with a bullet,” added Longtom.
BeachGrit is a surf website launched in 2013 by disaffected anti-depressives looking to “defeat boredom and sycophantism” in 2020, even at the expense of being blocked on social media by the world’s greatest surfer.
“Being blocked on social media for those who support the right to a slight chuckle over self-described ‘surf fans’ who do not is a worthy effort,” the group’s mission statement reads.
More as the story develops.
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If only that were true… (read while haunting music of a dream sequence plays in the background)
Ke11y is not happy when the truth is revealed. Ke11y didn’t mean any harm. Ke11y will make you a sustainable t-shirt.
The earloops on the masks will be made from recycled tampon strings.
Not as much energy as deleting all these fucking popup advertisements.
I know Slater is a small man but how incredibly dwarf sized is T C brother!!
Kelly Slater doesnt REALLY think he is an environmentalist, does he? I mean, he consumes more resources way way way more above and beyond the amount consumed by your average first world bear… I guess he is an environmentalist in the same way those dudes that have sex with other men claim to be “not gay.”
They aren’t gay. They are just curious.
I smell a lawsuit
I would have blocked you when you put up the billboard.
surf lifestyle so cold
air seawater coral cry
how now to profit
a haiku for Kelly, by Non John-san
Kelly’s ego would never allow him to stop reading every bit of commentary on his life. Hi kelly 👋 I know your still here.
Wish he’d comment! Play the game, be the champ!
Seen a bloke riding one of those rounded nosed Tomo’s Wednesday, or maybe it was a slats design.. either way I thought of the GOAT and grinned. I couldn’t resist to ask how it went, he gruffly said “shit in good waves and good in crap waves”.. It was good so I guess that explained the gruff response. Also, I suspect I had a smartass look on my face while eyeing the rounded nose..
It’s a complete sell out for something that hasn’t materialized. This orgy of spending trillions upon trillions (much of it on things that have nothing to do with vivid) now will leave nothing left to take care of our senior citizens and lower (and middle)income folks that need healthcare or social services for generations to come. Our kids and their kids will be burdened with crippling taxes, rampant inflation and a collapsed job market. The subsequent deaths from those factors will dwarf those from covid. On top of all that, we also get the trampling of our freedoms and basic civil liberties that so many elected officials and technocrats are clamoring for. Once the dust settles people will look back with astonishment and anger at how horribly, not to mention selfishly we handled this.
yeah…on the other hand, this is a wake up call.
Next virus or “outbreak”, say from something really contagious with a 10% or higher mortality rate? Dont know if we have learned anything from this yet, as you said, the fallout and downstream effects we havnt even seen yet.
Hard to plan for unknown unknowns……like the surf actually being good yesterday!! I gotta remember to plan for that once in a while. Beaches should loook interesting this weekend with the incoming S. Parking and visitors here are nuts. Hope you get some and they open up SD!
Beaches are open for surf and exercise activities. Timed perfectly with work getting crazy this past week. You cant just kick it with a 44 oz Polar Pop styro cup filled with vodka and pineapple juice on a beach towel and hesh one hitters between go outs
haha!! hows the ground water, you guys got water this year! Good spring, stream runnoff still strong here. And the fog is officially thick.
Water tables are up right now.! The last few submersible pumps Ive changed the water was 20’ on a 360′ well from surface and 60’ on another one that was a 720′ bore hole. The west side of Lyons Peak- 3700’elevation , has water oozing out of the boulders. There are still lots of streams and waterfalls out here.
the problem is we are dealing with a virus that is supa contagious and we still don’t understand all the strands that have mutated . Now kids (5-15 year olds)are on ventilators…so we still don’t understand the enemy ..
The biggest problems we have seen in the last 4-5 mths are the broken health/economic /political sytems which seem to be happening only in the USA.
We watch the food banks delivering food to millions of people , but they mostly drive new cars, but don’t have enough money to feed their families…..this is the only western country that has to supply food to their population…how could this happen?
We watch the USA health system , with not enough testing kits and a lot of angst in communities where PPE has not been available even swabs etc…eg, here in Victoria(Pop 6.2m) we are testing 20K people per day….Florida with a pop of 22m ,18K tested per day….Florida’s numbers/infections/deaths still going up ..your testing levels are some of the lowest in the world and Don says ” Testing is overrated ” which means he as at odds with every medical expert in the world.
We watch the USA with a leader who is politicizing the pandemic and has created an us and them situation with democrats and republicans. States now fighting for PPE /testing kits….no real plan , but lets reopen and hope that the virus won’t get worse, even though all the stats show otherwise
This is the greatest threat to the USA ….you are treating the virus , just like climate change….not listening to the scientists , and have politicians/ leaders following their gut feel , ouch!
Your take on the state of affairs is right out of the CNN, msnbc, CBS, etc script. They, along with Fox and the right side have agendas and are presenting mostly biased reporting that appeals to their audiences. Keep in mind this is like nothing we’ve ever seen before, is it really fair to second guess and Monday morning quarterback everyone involved? There have been good and bad moves on both sides of the political spectrum. The last thing I want to do is go down that path because its pointless in the context of BeachGrit commenting. Everyone is entitled to their opinions, so I’ll stay away from that and stick to numbers, which we can agree on.
California has a population of 39.78 million people with 60,614 confirmed cases. That’s .15237% of the population. California death totals from coronavirus: 2,504 which is 4.279% of confirmed cases. Since the testing numbers are low as you mentioned, its safe to say there are far more cases than reported. A USC study put that at 30-80 times mire in Los Angeles, Stanford study 20-40 times more in Santa Clara. A safe estimate puts the actual number of people with covid (my daughter, myself and a lot of people I know most likely had it back in February, studies have shown its been here since December) at 250,000 or as high as 500,000. If its 250k, that puts the percentage of the population that got it at .6% but lowers the death percentage to 1.06%. Do those numbers match the original estimates or sound particularly frightening? To me they don’t.
Yes there are a few cases of otherwise healthy people dying from it but the majority, by a huge margin, are elderly and or have other health issues. Its sad, I feel for people and their families that are grieving but there are so many other things that are killing people, why are we only concerned with this?
Leading causes of death in US:
Heart disease: 647,457
Cancer: 599,108
Accidents (unintentional injuries): 169,936
Chronic lower respiratory diseases: 160,201
Stroke (cerebrovascular diseases): 146,383
Alzheimer’s disease: 121,404
Diabetes: 83,564
Influenza and Pneumonia: 55,672
Nephritis, nephrotic syndrome and nephrosis: 50,633
Intentional self-harm (suicide): 47,173
I think we fundamentally disagree about letting science dictate every aspect of our lives and trusting it without question. Its an important part of the equation but science is not infallible nor without self interest. Do you trust the fellas at Monsanto? Big oil? Big pharma? Science brought us thalidomide, people trusted it with disastrous results. DDT- not so good for the environment. Science told us petrochems would revolutionize our world but they didn’t tells us about climate change coming with it. Science brought us Eugenics and lobotomies. Are either morally right? We are at a dangerous crossroads of technology trampling our right to privacy, due process and what few freedoms we have left. Is that the world we want in exchange for feeling safe from a disease with a 4% or less morbidity rate that affects less than 1% of the population?
Wow , yeah I guess there is the right wing view and mine which seems to be a lot more science based than yours , as I am still learning about the virus as are the scientists .
One of the things that stands out is your stats on California ( Cal shut down quicker than most states and you are reaping the benefits…..you have tested 2.3% , have a mortality rate of 4.1% try reading this, especially the bit about Corona virus is 46 x more contagious than flu /influenza…
I can see why you don’t respect science because of mistakes that have been in the past …and the moral of your rights…but if you have a smart phone ,”They ” already have all of your data”….
We will see in the next couple of weeks how the USA does re-opening up , I hope you are right , and there’s not much to worry about…because the chance of the Virus still continuing to kill 10000+ pw looks like your new normal and if there is any spike or a second wave of infections…well your economy just can’t take it…and thats a fact!
Man, I give up. I was hoping to find some common ground but its impossible and utterly exhausting. I guess we’ll just have to wait and see and agree to disagree. Peace, Brutus and wish you the best
I never give up LOL ,interested to see what you say about the stats that I posted links to below?
That’s the thing – It “hasn’t materialized” because we’ve been quarantined, social distancing, etc. It’s working.
Let it go, Gary. Save your (internet) breath. They’ve drunk the orange kool aid and have gone so far down the Faux rabbit hole. Even when Pence or Trump get it in the next few days, given all the Secret Service and valets and even Ivanka’s staff member have it, they’ll still deny it’s real.
Couldn’t miss a chance to jump in and say “let it go, save your breath” and then proceed to spew your half baked pseudo elitist Trump bash nonsense. Do you have any idea what an asshole you sound like by telling Gary E what to do and jumping in the middle of his comment to me? Fucken eh, man stop acting like a bitch.
Yawn….Zzzzzzz…its snowing again. Go shoot your guns Scotty. Leave the heavy duty thinking to your betters.
Oh so you’re better than me? Theres a surprise coming from your elitist cunt self. Whatever you need to think to distract yourself from your pathetic miserable existence, have at it.
I bet you don’t even surf.
Nope, never. Goddam you are so smart and intuitive!! And I bet you surf like Derek Hynds’ bastard child! So fuckin cool man, how can I ever match your greatness?
Seriously here Scotty. Don’t you have something better to do than rage tweet at me at 7am cali time? Have a good day, man. Catch you on another thread for some good jokes with the rest of the BG crew.
Haha, classic. Act like a fuckin prick and then say “dont you have anything better to do” when I respond. Fuck off. Youre a douche.
Just being elitist. Now I have to go beat my labradoodle ( allergin free) to feel manly. Then have some kombucha. And then read some Noam Chomsky. What’s your day look like? More compensation at BG to make yourself feel alive?
Feeling aroused by your big words Pony Boy. Keep them coming. This is so entertaining.
Done playing studly?
Hey DHMF, Id like to call a truce. Apologies for my part in this thing and over reacting. I like BeachGrit and interaction with everyone, it’s a great place to unwind and take my mind off bullshit and want to keep it that way. This past week was an ass kicker with work so I was a bit on edge. 90+ degrees working in the sun all and a soul sucking customer was brutal. The last thing I should’ve been doing was getting into political discussion. Again, sorry for going off and hope we can go back to joking and laughing about shit.
Done. Here if you need to vent anonymously. Peace.
Thanks, brother! Have a great week
You too man! See you on another thread!
You doing ok?
All good! You? Been crazy busy with work, kids graduating college and high school, moving them back for the summer. Got a couple of surfs in- horrified and shamed myself at the near VAL level Ive regressed to!
Nice to hear you’re making some bucks and congrats on the kids!! Hope there were a lot of hugs. Things on my side–Derek finally ran something of mine about 1 week ago. Gives a good update!
Thanks DHMF! Yeah, good having the whole family under the roof, Im sure Ill yearn for the peace and quiet in a week or so! That’s great you got published here, going to look it up and have a read right now
Im not disagreeing it didnt help. They first said flatten the curve, let hospitals catch up, look at the numbers etc. Thats where we are at now.
here scott have a look at what Australia’s flattening the curve looks like and we are still in phase 3 lockdown……
https://www.theguardian.com…
then look at https://www.theguardian.com…
we listened from the start , and ALL of us got onboard with the advice from our top medical/scientists……here in Vic we are testing 20K + a day with a population of 6m….we should be up and running whats left of the economy by July….do think as Donald does , that,,,the virus will just disappear/ Testing is overrated/ the economy willl come back stronger than ever in a few mths??
I’m honestly worn out. It’s been a ridiculously busy week repairing water wells in 90 degree plus heat. I appreciate your viewpoints and I think we agree on more things than not. Here’s to good health and getting back to normal (when ever it’s appropriate). You’ve got a lot of passion, honest concern and a righteous attitude about taking care of fellow man. Thats more important in life than politics. Im honored you took the time to explain your point of view with me. Signing off! Have a great day!
ditto , at least we didn’t descend into personal attacks which is about as productive as the fight between Russia and the Saudis….ouch.
Hope your business fires up and you and your family stay well , as respect is what really needs to acted on now……and to stop the political in fighting …
What really concerns me now the plan to deal with the Virus in everyday life , and what are the coming economic consequences of enetring into a depression…to be con’td
Right on Brutus! Totally agree. Thanks for the kind words! Likewise with you and your family..
These comment boards are great for sparking discussions but sometimes the nuances get lost or misinterpreted. Sarcasm or being a wise ass can turn bad real fast or the words just come out wrong and whatever point Im trying to make doesn’t make sense or vice versa when reading what other people write.
I’ve honestly made that mistake with your views on the US and the super right wing goofballs. Easy to fall in a defensive mode and take it as a personal attack, which is totally wrong on my part. Id rather hear yours or others views from an outside perspective to avoid being myopic and gain better understanding of things.
yeah forums are hard..even me if I’m having an angry day or a great day ,sarcasm is hard to interpret …..so a lot here goes over or under peoples heads, I just try to find facts and work out who’s bullshitting in the media or the Government….you know the ol’ story…don’t bullshit a bullshitter…..LOL…..shapers might be the worst…..” is my board ready? yeah…which probably means still thinking about it….and shapers excuses…haha…think I’ll write book!
At present it’s pretty simple , Don has gambled all our futures on reopening with a lack of testing and Tracing….I hope and pray he is right , because if he’s now we will all pay a very heavy price…stay safe!
I like calling it “bullshitting” instead of lying or even white lies. It’s universal for all, especially if you surf and have a business. if I bail a job to go surf Ill never tell the customer that I went surfing. Usually Ill say the parts haven’t come in or the truck is in the shop. How’s your shaping business going with all this stuff going on?
Tax the rich
Slater has gone to hide behind wsl’s wall of positive noise
Blocking BG is the enemy of cool
It’s hip to be square?
Good. fuck him. keep creepin in his windows derek. guys a muppet.
simply mazing , what is it with the Merrycans , Donald spits the dummy if you don’t agree with him , and now Kelly…
is Kelly Donalds love child , is Kelly creating his own New World order/cult, is Kelly jealous that Chas and Derek have hair, when will Kelly fuck off back to the USA and stop breaking OZ’s quarantine laws , will Kelly ever stop being a “Greenwash Grom, or is it that Kelly will never surf a CT Event again as he will be old and wrinkled by the time starts again…or is it because he has become the anti-christ of the Surf Industry, or…??????
Listen Maurice, maybe you should just put down this hate you have for Trump. He’s going to be re-elected, and the stress hate brings won’t do your cancer any good.
not hate , dismay and frustrated that he is taking the USA down , I don’t think he will get re-elected because of whats coming in the next few mths to the USA economy , as the pandemic numbers rise , more death and fracturing of the USA..
Don’t worry about the cancer it’s terminal , and I was never going to die of old age, LOL!!
I see this a s big game and the USA/Trump have chosen $’s over lives, so be it!
I hope you’re OK Maurice. Take care.
Ego-centric. Get it right losers.
What I’ve never understood is financially wealthy people wanting more money. Fuck me $500k and I’d quit everything and live the next 20 (probably 10 until my demise) years in Mexico.
El Chapo would take you out within 6 weeks pal…what, you think he can’t get to you now?
lol, i did it with 5 grand. i’ll probably kick the bucket soon enough anyway, with all my health issues.
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Slater fails the Beachgrit purity test. Proves he’s just as big of a hypocrite as the rest of us.