I'm a savage.
Dark day. Bleak days. Pandemic disease rushing wildly around the globe, indiscriminately killing obese 80-year-old diabetics with underlying heart conditions. Economic collapse immanent. Surfing criminalized. Rock salt lamps and their warm ionized air, the only thing keeping humanity from complete implosion.
But always a silver lining and today we find ours in the animal kingdom where classy, bougie, ratchet female Great White sharks are in the midst of an inspiring #MeToo moment.
Shall we turn our frowns upside down?
Something tore into a 12-foot shark off the East Coast, taking part of a fin and leaving teeth marks around its hulking body, according to the Atlantic White Shark Conservancy.
Photos of the battered shark (named Chex) were shared Saturday on Facebook, showing the most striking of its “battle scars” was a missing top lobe from its thick tail (caudal) fin.
“We do not know how this happened, but our science team can hypothesize that the (tail) injury could have been caused by a boat strike or an interaction with another shark. If you look around Chex’s gill slits, you can see the scar of a bite from another shark,” the conservancy wrote.
“Unfortunately, we do not know why another shark would bite Chex. It is rare to record interactions between these animals.”
OCEARCH, another shark research agency, has speculated that male great white sharks may bite each other in the North Atlantic while competing for females in mating season, or the females themselves bite males to ward off unwanted sexual advances.
And there we have it. “The females themselves bite males to ward off unwanted sexual advances. “Chex (read: Harvey Weinstein) swimming around just assuming every female is his for the taking. Being both an apex predator and an apex sexual predator but sorry, bud, TIME’S UP and there goes the tail.
I truly hope that other fish and whales take note and also that male Great Whites start behaving with more decorum.
Wild shark drama—female letting justice be served! Seriously badass moment. Also, loving how this inspires us to embrace our inner apex predator… maybe after I finish my business registration philippines .
Fuckin good cunt, he was.
Oh, I also have a dog. He wasn’t in the room.
Fuck sake. If this isn’t evidence to get people back in the water I don’t know what is. Clearly sharks aren’t being satisfied by the lack of fresh meat in the oceans and are exploring the kinkier sides.
this quote should be on a mambo tshirt
Salt lamps emit warm ironized air.How is it possible to exist without a salt lamp? The answer is, that’s it’s not possible. I must have one, Chas will you sell?
I heard salt lamps inserted rectally kill covid.
Tried it. Still haven’t caught Covid. Proof enough for me.
Must have been some comments on the salt lamp beside the trophy boards.
Announcing my new commenting channel, Chapter 12 QWERTY, where I will post stupid comments…
[Manifesto]
Sometimes commenting on BG is stupid, which is clear in any circumstance, but especially so today, when all the articles are garbage and give you nothing to work with.
I visit the site just out of habit (and I like surfing). I have no friends, perhaps even negative friends. Anyway, I really felt like commenting, even though lately all my comments suck, and planned to comment on whatever was posted.
I came to the site this morning and saw this garbage article about sharks, one even worse than normal shark articles, which can be marginally funny sometimes though not often. Since I had pre-planned to comment, I am doing that now. Commenting on a shitty article can be fun, though probably not very rewarding if it’s one of those that gets only 12 other comments, which might happen here. I guess a smaller pool might make mine seem better, but probably not, people know it’s still shit. Oh well, maybe posting a shit comment just keeps you in front of people and helps you be a regular.
Shit wasn’t coming together. I couldn’t think of anything related to the article to write about. I look at the Dane post instead. He’s releasing videos again, apparently, which I guess is interesting. Nice manifesto, brah.
I look at my cat, who has decided to sleep on the chair next to me.
I think about how I should take a nap and wonder why the fuck I’m still writing this comment.
I don’t talk to anybody, because there is no one to talk to. And, besides, if there were, I wouldn’t mention I was commenting anyway. Fucking kook shit.
… and I’m still writing this, apparently. My comments are just getting worse. I should probably quit, but I don’t because what else would I do while “working.”
I was excited about 7 minutes ago thinking about doing it, but now think it’s stupid and unfunny. Oh well.
There is no real concept or criteria for commenting on BG (I mean, look at bex). People comment for whatever. I don’t care.
If you’ve read this whole thing, jokes on you. Soz, brah. What’d you expect to get?
Fuck off.
Well put… I think.
Since I just happened to be here, why not reply? Making shit comments (and replies) definitely helps keep one regular, I can vouch for that.
I just read your last two sentences…I’m a winner!
Skimmed right across it. Just like all the articles except for what Longtom writes because he is the shit
Things are getting a bit thin around here.
Longtoms stuff is definitely worthy of a concentrated effort to read and ponder.
To gain enlightenment.
Negative friends. Suspect we aren’t the only ones on BG with negative friends. How very anti modem surfer.