The New Lost Generation.
I am currently on an overseas surf vacation and enjoying myself thoroughly. Fear of Covid-19 still crackles in the humid air and tourists have not returned leaving normally crowded breaks near empty.
Wonderful.
And today found me bobbing alongside two locals who waved for me to join them in the prime location.
I happily acquiesced.
One, an eighteen-year-old, told me he was an aspiring professional surfer, sponsored by a local shaper etc. Looking forward to being able to travel the world, competing in iconic locations etc.
I told him that was very fine at which point he complimented me on my surf attire.
I was wearing an official tank top singlet from the World Surf League Longboard Classic, New York. Devon Howard generously gifted me. Coincidentally, I was not riding a midlength but rather a 5’8 Mayhem Bottom Feeder quad.
In any case, I thanked him and told him it came from the World Surf League. He scrunched up his face and repeated “World Surf League?”
I nodded.
He pondered this “World Surf League” while nodding me into a very fine right.
When I arrived back to the takeoff spot he said something like, “I maybe have seen the WSL logo thing before.
I told him he wasn’t missing much but… CEO Erik Logan, turning the spotlight over to you, concerning, no? I must say, without a bold move, very soon, an entire generation of professional surfers will be lost.
Who then can you fleece?
What’s the business model?
It’s very hard to sympathise with you when you’re always on fucking holiday.
none of this is true.
Since when is a wsl longboard singlet a generous gift ?
It’s the sort of thing ya use as an oil rag…
No one knew who Oprah was either until Elo introduced her to the world. Or so the legend goes
The only people who know what the WSL is are people like myself that love to watch, but mostly have nothing but contempt for pro surfing in general.
Poor Elo for having to navigate that minefield.
Why contempt?
Personal insecurities?
What about other sports like women’s rugby?
To be honest I have contempt for life in general.
It’s a common affliction among the colonists.
Sorry if I replied with undue haste.
I’m sorry too, if I hurt your feelings the other day Bexy.
Im very sensitive
Must Harden up.
Naaah, my 83 yr old parents are quite familiar with the WSL.
My mum still sends me every newspaper article she sees about surfing, prosurfing and especially Bobby Slats.
I’ve never had the heart to tell her that I’m not all that interested…haha
Is tijuana considered an OS trip?
It’s overseas for you, no?
Over oceans
NZ would be overseas.
The Tasman is its name
Soon to be changed no doubt to the Be el em sea.
what’s more threatening, the muzzies or the blacks?
The whites that think there not white.
feel the terror!
It’s scary cause they’re white.
what does being white feel like?
Allwhite.
Some big dry tubes to be had in Zona Norté. Pull into the pink room. Caverns. Just remember to suit up with a lot of rubber.
Are they friendly like the girls of siam?
They friendly till the money runs out.
Erik Logan is a total fuckhead we get it but you failed to mention you were surfing in a hydroelectric dam in Paraguay and the 18 year old you accosted had only just put down his pan pipe and rubbed a toothpaste sized glob of betel nut under his foreskin.
How are chicks, “stop genital mutilation! Ooh gross a foreskin yuck!” Fuck I miss my forey.
Haha when will everyone learn “life ain’t fair”. I somehow got to keep my foreskin. I was born on a houseboat so I don’t think my bong head parents were confident enough to cut half my dick off that far away from a hospital. It was a good call. One night I dragged this fatish Indian chick home from a pub and she sucked my forey like a semi-melted zooper-dooper. Couldn’t bar up to save myself looking at her gut mate. Pretty face but. Well kinda.
Not fair as in not white?
It’s true there are many shades of pond scum.
Na fuck whitey.
Haven’t done that for over ten years now
Not missing it.
My misso is Greek. Is that white? These are confusing times. I haven’t fucked her in about 10 years anyway haha.
It’s starts getting blurry in the Med that’s for sure.
I strapped myself in a chair and watched the ABC and CNN Clockwork orange style And now I identify as non white.
It’s very liberating.
Hahahahahahahaah
A few years back, I thanked my mum for ignoring prevailing trends when I was born and for keeping my genitalia intact. But you…did… get circumcised I was told. The doctor was asked to give it a little snip and not to take it all off. A raincoat minus the hood would be the closest analogy. Best of both worlds.
Ahhh the fabled Driza-Bone where the foreskin is split and dehydrated into two matching shrivelled husks adorning the knob. It’s a surgical masterpiece that is built for pleasure. Congratulations, Doz. That’s quite the asset.
It’s work of Dali-esque surrealism. Confuses and thrills participants.
Ahhhh fucking hell this is mint!
All the rivers run haha.
Maybe you should look her up and try to reconnect?
And which pub did you find her at? Asking for a friend.
I had a pit bull 10 years ago that I used to show (yeah I know I’m a bad guy I didn’t adopt). She had her ears cropped and I’d get so much flack always from women. My response was “I didn’t get any say in having skin cut off my dick when I was a baby.” Generally uncomfortably ended the convo.
At least it avoids injury in combat.
Nah she was a show dog. It was purely aesthetics. If you’re showing a dog and they act aggressive they’re immediately disqualified.
I meant the penis.
I crunched the numbers, you’re right!
Give him Kelly’s email.
Done!
You are definitely going to Heaven because even the Devil himself wouldn’t have you.
Did you take your daughter with you?
Yes!
To North Korea?!! I heard it’s blowing up over there.
My 5’7 Bottom Feeder quad has singlehandedly kept my sanity in tact the last few months.
Worldsurfleage.com to become the home for kook slams-style surf content, the Funniest Home Videos of the surf world. New HQ will be a PO Box in Calcutta, new sonic branding will be a slide whistle
Pete Mel and Kaipo’s podcast will be playing on repeat between 7pm and 7am.
Sounds like something they’d do to a terrorist in Guantanamo
You don’t have to go to a third world country to find youth with no knowledge of wsl surfing. My kids couldn’t name a pro surfer and they have signed pictures of Wilson, J., on their walls…