Sacrifice.
Summer, in these United States of America, is marked by two features: Mama June from Not to Hot marathons on WE TV and Huntington Beach’s U.S. Open of Surfing. The former, a in-depth look at beloved reality television star June Shannon, mother of Honey-Boo-Boo-Child. The latter a ten-day stretch of August that sees the world’s best surfers take to the world’s most mediocre waves and mass sexual deviance perpetrated by young-ish teenagers and old-ish middle-aged folk from Riverside and Corona.
This year, we’ll only have crack cocaine.
Event organizers have officially canceled the bacchanal over the fear of disease transmission, flying in the face of precedent.
Jennifer Lau, Vice President of Action Sports at event owner IMG said, “The Vans US Open of Surfing has always been about bringing people together in a healthy, fun and interactive environment, and given the size and scale of the event, we can’t see a way to do that this year without sacrificing the very thing that makes it so special.
Namely, herpes.
With the U.S. Open’s cancellation, it is almost certain that the entire 2020 surf season will be wiped off the books. The World Surf League is rumored to be trying to run the Triple Crown in December but with fears over a Coronavirus second wave and an emboldened Hawaii sovereignty movement, the plan seems shaky at best.
Will some other billionaire, an ancient foe to co-Waterperson of the Year Dirk Ziff, seize the moment and steal professional surfing for his very own? Ziff currently resides at 427 on Forbes’ updated real-time billionaire list. Just below him, at number 433, is Charles Dolan, owner of WE TV.
Imagine if he flew professional surfers out to a private island, let’s say Tavarua, with Mama June and ran both reality shows concurrently.
Ratings through the roof?
Almost certainly but who would Mama June end up with?
Martin Potter is the current odds on favorite.
Stay tuned.
Here comes Wozzy Boo Boo!!
Ahh the joys of youth…
It reminds me of my semi sexy bogan girlfriend from my twilight teen years
After 3 months of long distance love, I gave her my heart…she gave me the clap
I developed deep trust issues
It turns out she was also dating some player from the Penrith Panthers…so I was left shattered
One indiscretion I could have forgiven…but the fact she was obviously fucking 12 other guys…that was a bridge too far (note 12 was all it was…bench players didn’t come in to calculations…she had class!)
NRL player(s) depends on your age but you may have shared the same strain of clappage with Freddy Fitler. I too in my yooof, felt the sting of being left for a footy jock! Not a sting in the pants, but in the heart.
Yes young Fred has always been my prime suspect…running straight over me a dozen times in a schoolboys footy game just didn’t suffice
I think I may have given the whole 91 Manly squad something.
Remember back then sharing was caring?
No real surprise that its cancelled.
But whats happening with the Wozzel website ? I had a quick look at it to see this news the other day – almost impossible to find it. That website must be right up there with one of the worst I have ever seen. Its a joke. A 10 year old could build a better one. Square Space and WordPress have a thousand templates that would work better.
I wonder if anyone is actually working there anymore. Its absolutely crap. The pivot to a media company has clearly been a terrific success. Jokes. The E.L.O should hang his head in shame. What a shambles. And thats before I even get to the content – or should I say lack of content. No wonder they get no traffic. Its just a crap effort at pulling in everyone else’s content. I struggled to find anything worthy of reading / watching. I could not see any recent WSL content except for the 2 min cringe show. Its aimed at kids. It really is a disgrace.
They Stab’d themselves in the foot.
“back in my day, Joe, there would be no priority on Mama June.”
“I don’t know Pottz. Seems like there would be a lot of hassling involved. Are you talking about back in 1989 when you were World Champion?”
Waves were firing. Off season wind swell was greeting a southern hemi and HB was as good as it gets.
Well overhead A frames converging in massive hit sections.
Black Ball flag (surf city?) forced us in and back in the parking lot, the mass exodus from the concert, I mean festival, I mean trade show with that side show the surf contest.
Could not imagine attending a contest or the attendant festival if the waves were firing…. turns out, during an informal interview process on the bike path that a very small % of people were interested in the surfing contest. I think the BMX and skating, bikini contest and concert were bigger draws.
Bikes with slightly different crowd began coming south on the path, so I switched sides and asked who won the contest. Yes, these “surfers” had given up the day of the year to watch other people surf (?????) and yet only two out of maybe 15 could give me the results.
Only one guy seemed bummed to have been a spectator, but he told us he was recovering from an ankle injury and it was “killing” him watching such good waves.
so… no set date from the GOAT yet on the Dirty Water sitdown, huh guys?…
pandemic aside, I approve the cancellation just to prevent stupid, over-privileged, H.S. jocks in their football team shorts in the pic from ever showing up to the event again…
Canceled, wow…
Give me a pre-Eloic mind..a pre-Eloic mind…
Last night I had a crazy dream,
I fell out of my bed,
I missed the floor entirely,
and fell through time instead.
Through yesterday and history,
and unrecorded time,
a fifteen or so years flew by,
to pre-Eloic times.
Pre-Eloic… Pre-Eloic.
I looked around,
and there I found,
that everything had changed.
HB was full of animals,
they all were very strange.
Those horny girls were everywhere,
and every shape and size.
They stalked the lanes and fountains,
they even wear a disguise.
Give me a pre-Eloic mind,
bring me away from all mankind.
You can keep your new “heroics,”
But I’ll take the pre-Eloic,
Give me a Pre-Eloic Mind.
Pre-Eloic…Pre-Eloic.
D-List pros just plodded past,
Angling for a spree.
And jail bail slut blew through his hair,
As pro bros fill the sea.
A mighty Occhilupo with neon down his spine,
Grazed near the debauched chorus, and others of our kind.
Pre-Eloic… Pre-Eloic.
I hid behind a wall of rock when Mister Sargent roared.
All scared grommets ran away, escaping what he stored.
Matt Biolos took just one step, and made the forest shake.
I did not want my dream to end, I didn’t wanna wake.
Give me a pre-Eloic mind,
Teach me to learn from what I find.
You can keep your new “heroics,”
But I’ll take the pre-Eloic,
Give me a Pre-Eloic Mind.
Pre-Eloic…Pre-Eloic.
Pre-Eloic…Pre-Eloic.
” I missed the floor entirely, and fell through time instead”
dam that’s good.
Update: Serf City aka Seattle aka CHAZ aka CHAS aka CHOP aka CHOP-HOP
When keeping it real goes right.
https://youtu.be/Z5HGMs5XL6k
Would she vote for Bernie?
No. She said she’s conservative.
Shocking considering 97% of OC thinks Covid-19 is a Dem hoax.
And they believe jesus was a racist capitalist.
Newsom’s lockdown antics have proven that while Democrats accuse Trump of being a Totalitarian, it is in reality the Democrats that are Totalitarians. Their cancel culture proves it. And Gov. Newsom signing over 40 Executive Orders during the Wuhan Flu lockdown prove it. In CA, Newsom suspended your right to medical right to privacy. Actively suppressed disabled voter participation. All by himself. He’s the Executive Branch acting without the Legislation. A Totalitarian. The Totalitarian Democrat.
Thank goodness a couple weeks ago a Judge checked one of his Executive Orders.
https://www.redstate.com/je…
“Lawmakers of both political parties have criticized Newsom, a Democrat, for not sufficiently including them in his sweeping declarations and budget decisions since the pandemic began. The governor has issued more than 40 executive orders, according to a court filing by Gallagher.
They include halting evictions, delaying late fees for paying taxes or renewing drivers licenses, allowing grocery stores to once again hand out single-use bags for free — even allowing couples to be married by video or teleconference, with marriage licenses and certificates digitally signed and sent by email.
They are in a 28-page list submitted by Kiley of Newsom’s orders that alter existing state laws.
They also include allowing local and state governments to hold public telephone meetings instead of meeting in person; extending deadlines for various businesses to pay fees, file reports or renew licenses; suspending rules intended to protect patients’ medical privacy; suspending deadlines and instructional requirements for local school districts; and suspending election deadlines and procedures.
In a joint statement issued Friday, Kiley and Gallagher said:
“This is a victory for separation of powers. The governor has continued to brazenly legislate by fiat without public input and without the deliberative process provided by the Legislature. Today the judicial branch finally gave him the check that was needed and that the Constitution requires.”
You should move to Florida…. you will love your freedoms there
Don’t you have some Democratic confederate statue that you need to go to and tear down?
Another talking point… you digest them well.
You getting this swell today? Seems like it’s gonna get good. Tide push early afternoon is the call.
Checked it early. Decided time was better spent giving my dog a run on the beach. Got some wind on it, but we’ll see about later. I’m managing a few day-trader positions at the moment.
Ran my little girl on the beach too… kept feeling a south wind semi fog wind, but it’s still just lingering. Checked the points once and the beaches at fuller tide, both times just not quite right. People been telling me about a south and all I see is wind swell.
Rincon is packed and it’s waist high. Everywhere is packed. Empty beaches last year are now 4th of July crowded, every day no matter what the weather is like. I’m over summer that just started.
Yeah. What’s funny is all these surf schools. Fucking stepping over each other to step in dog shit on their way to dog shit conditions that won’t help improve dog shit skills.
There is a spot round here that was empty. No reason to surf it, but a point is just above it. The spot is dog shit on it’s best day. Think mediocre Doheny or San O.
There are so many students out that there is no parking for half a mile in each direction from the “break”…. So many people out like a party or beach festival.
3 competing schools with unlimited new students.