Breaking: Stab magazine recognizes error of ways, deletes post describing world’s greatest surfer Stephanie Gilmore as “coke-head with OCD!”

Stab magazine Editor-in-Chief Ashton Goggans may be Amber Heard.

How quickly do the wheels of justice turn these days? Three, literally three, minutes ago I posted a story regarding Zoom adjacent to Venice Beach Stab magazine decision to describe the world’s greatest surfer Stephanie Gilmore as “a coke-head with OCD” on Instagram.

The offering received mixed results.

Many thought it was funny and “edgy.”

Many more thought inappropriate and odd, especially for a property that consistently makes a point to fall on the side of “woke” clearly “the right side of history” in our current culture war.

As is its wont, Stab disappeared the offending post within a literal three minutes of a fine BeachGrit offering which… ouch!

Not even 24 hours of fun?

12 hours?

But also, is a media property truly “woke” by what they choose to leave live, swinging on “funny” and “cool” when the spirit strikes, or does a media property actually have to be “woke” and only post “woke” offerings?

I don’t actually know.

I’m perpetually confused by deleting anything.

History judges us and look at how it judged Johnny Depp.

A fun derelict.

Stab magazine Editor-in-Chief Ashton Goggans may be Amber Heard. Or…. whoever that other girl is.

More as the story develops.

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East of the 5
East of the 5
6 years ago

Cocaine is so pre-Covid. I’m now crushing Adderalls and placing them in my Copenhagen chew. It’s like a focus dip, you get kinda buzzed but extremely focused. In fact I watched Fox News for 41 hours straight last week without blinking. My wife and kids are thrilled with my behavior.

Dung beetle
Dung beetle
6 years ago
Reply to  East of the 5

Does that really work? Asking for a friend.
Edit: I’m on the Zyn now but I’ve had my share of relapses.

East of the 5
East of the 5
6 years ago
Reply to  Dung beetle

Mr. Dung Beetle this trick actually works with Percocet on the golf course. Aderall has such a distinct taste it will ruin the dip. If you’re up to it mix a Xanax with an Addy, with half of a Perc 30. We call that Sunday where I’m from.

Waterproof Polo
Waterproof Polo
6 years ago
Reply to  East of the 5

Tasty combo!

Dung beetle
Dung beetle
6 years ago
Reply to  East of the 5

Don’t threaten me with a good time

SSD
SSD
6 years ago
Reply to  East of the 5

Ask your doctor about XanAddOxy!

East of the 5
East of the 5
6 years ago
Reply to  SSD

Scott my MD stopped taking my calls. I’ve been forced back to Silk Road. Hope all is well!!!!

SSD
SSD
6 years ago
Reply to  East of the 5

Dr got tired of explaining to DEA why certain patients are getting all the drugs?
All is well my friend! Hope you are too

Tomas' silky smooth arms
Tomas' silky smooth arms
6 years ago
Reply to  East of the 5

This is why I’m here! Will try. So fucken easily distracted lately at work, I’m on BG with any hint of boredom. Need focus and a buzz.

Keith Grace
Keith Grace
6 years ago

definitely the song that comes to mind reading this…

https://www.youtube.com/wat…

Doobalachy
Doobalachy
6 years ago

Johnny Depp and amber heard trending harder than sharks?

MD11F
MD11F
6 years ago
Reply to  Doobalachy

Amber Heard affirme que Johnny Depp a menacé de la tuer “de nombreuses fois”. Paris Match is all over Depp, nothing on monsieur requin.

NEGATRON
NEGATRON
6 years ago

It’s a bit boring ragging on Ashton.

Butttttt read that Derek Ho obituary he wrote?

Oh my. Surely not. Oh dear. No just no.
Were the thoughts popping in my head.

Eddie Haiku
Eddie Haiku
6 years ago
Reply to  NEGATRON

Ha, I just read it
Think he better take THAT down
A-Grade Cock Smoker

Tomas' silky smooth arms
Tomas' silky smooth arms
6 years ago
Reply to  Eddie Haiku

Cock smoker is underutilized.

Eddie Haiku
Eddie Haiku
6 years ago

A gender neutral
Woke and family friendly
Term of derision!

Tomas' silky smooth arms
Tomas' silky smooth arms
6 years ago
Reply to  Eddie Haiku

Chronic wokeness

joeys nosegard
joeys nosegard
6 years ago
Reply to  NEGATRON

The ashton article was pure gold in a lead with yellow paint on it kind of way. The real entertainment starts in the comments section. SSOOOO harsh.

joeys nosegard
joeys nosegard
6 years ago
Reply to  NEGATRON

and fuckn funny

Wilbur
Wilbur
6 years ago
Reply to  NEGATRON

He wrote a ‘tribute’ about Derek, but it ended up being about himself.

Some highlights in the comments:

“Why does everything you write come across as so vain and narcissistic? Pretty hard to achieve in an article honoring a legend of the sport but congrats on that one.”

“Sad to hear about Ashton’s passing. From this article, he sounded like a real cool dude.”

“Fuck you’re a self-indulgent twat Ashton.”

Barrelled
Barrelled
6 years ago
Reply to  Wilbur

EVERYTHING that sewer falcon writes is self indulgent. He just can’t resist trying to make himself out as some ex-pro, industry hero. The absolute need to be somebody is just painful.

Waterproof Polo
Waterproof Polo
6 years ago
Reply to  Barrelled

I had to Urban Dictionary Sewer Falcon. Excellent usage.

Zero Wedge
Zero Wedge
6 years ago

Heartless commenter declares,
“That’s what they’re there for, to clean the Venice-adjacent surf media…”
After Beach Grit devours Stab in front of bored readers!

Lemoore Surfing Club
Lemoore Surfing Club
6 years ago

Anybody else getting these “Underestimate me. That’ll be fun” t-shirt ads?

Kinda want one now.

Chas Smith
Chas Smith
6 years ago

Ha! I screenshot each one. My fav is the repeat history one. Sorry the…. whatever drinky one.

Yesterday's hero
Yesterday's hero
6 years ago

Nah I’m 100% debt relief… they’re listening to my desperate phone calls

Uneducated
Uneducated
6 years ago

That explains why I always get the suicide hotline
And the erectile dysfunction products

Wiggolly's Paddling Style
Wiggolly's Paddling Style
6 years ago

Yeah it was no worries. Pretty much smack bang where I started digging. Deep though. Was about 2 and a half metres. Thanks for taking an interest in my work. Cheers.

Wiggolly's Paddling Style
Wiggolly's Paddling Style
6 years ago

If someone can tell me how to delete comments on Instagram that would be greatly appreciated. I might have gone a bit far this time and I’m in a bit of a pickle.

astro
astro
6 years ago

Can’t be any worse than some of your posts here, Wiggs.
So they delete it or ban you or something. Or the Karens gang up and flame ya … so what ?

I don’t do IG but here ya go

To delete a comment:
Tap below the post or tap any comment.
Swipe left over the comment (iPhone) or tap and hold the comment (Android) you’d like to delete.
Tap (iPhone) or (Android).

Hippy
Hippy
6 years ago
Reply to  astro

Wow you are a tech genius!!!!

do you do subcontracting work?

astro
astro
6 years ago
Reply to  Hippy

Mate, I used to trouble shoot Macs and PCs for next to fuck all – then several years ago I woke up and said, “there’s so many Russians out there now. I can’t be fucked dealing with them.”
But then, I realised there’s always special needs cases like Wiggs … I like to help mates and slow kids who can’t search for themselves. Fuckall effort for max reward.

Eddie Haiku
Eddie Haiku
6 years ago

You’re the laziest
Fucking cunt on Instagram
One butt ugly post 😂

Wiggolly's Paddling Style
Wiggolly's Paddling Style
6 years ago
Reply to  Eddie Haiku

Give the mans a follow but. I’m trying to crack 60 followers out here.

Eddie Haiku
Eddie Haiku
6 years ago

Give me some content
And I will follow you to
The end of the Earth*

*The Earth is flat, right?


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