"It sends the wrong message."
Fraught times. Scary times. The end of times? I don’t want to sound any unnecessary alarm bells here but two signs of the apocalypse manifested themselves over the weekend. The first, masked, badge-less federal agents throwing people into unmarked mini-vans in Portland, Oregon and disappearing them.
Disappearing them to where?
Unclear but possibly to strip clubs or donut shops where donuts are served with pieces of bacon on top for “re-education” on how to “Keep Portland Weird.”
The second, Facebook founder and billionaire Mark Zuckerberg emerging from quarantine donning white-face and riding and electric foil.
While white-face has yet to be socially criminalized, there is a growing number who believes it “sends the wrong message” and “should be avoided.”
Zuckerberg was unavailable for comment.
He appears to have learned the foil on the island of Kauai from his friend and super cross-over water person Kai Lenny.
Disturbing but the most intriguing detail is neither the white-face nor the electric foil but rather the size and shape of Zuckerberg’s bottom.
Whoa.
Baby certainly appears to “got back.” Is it a natural side effect of electric foiling? Of destroying the bonds between human beings around the world? Of being friends with Kai Lenny?
Much to ponder.
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Foiling his way to a local Kauai community theatre Mime class perhaps?
Disappear Kai Lenny please.
Marcel Marceau impersonator
Hey Kauai residents and Hawaiians at large, are you OK with this f’n dork scumbag owning a huge chunk of some of the most amazing land in all of the Hawaiian islands?
No. Put some boars in the compound!
Right? Headhunter light brown and he’d only have been busted quietly by us for the efoil. That Desitin got him on fucking Time.com
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Zinc or swim!
Maybe ZincZuck will buy the wozz?
writing like this makes me want to buy chaz’s books. leaking quality.
Frankly, I’m more ashamed that he is a goofy.
I was going to say the same thing! Maybe the boardies have floatation built in , everyone is surfing safe so”they can come home to their families” these days
I think the lesson, Jen See, is that money can’t by style, or soul.
Meanwhile Tom from MySpace is living on an Oahu pig farm with his 8 best friends charging west side secret spots and volunteering at a local school on his days off
he and elo are the new white face of pro surfing
It definitely knocks five years off my weathered mug
Surfing: I quit you
“riding and electric foil.” = “riding an electric foil.”
Maybe you could ask Zuckerberg for a grant to buy a spell checker?
And why are you so obsessed with the shape of a man’s butt?
Are you a poofter?
No poofters!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L220PFMkunI
I hope that Kai Lenny got a serious paycheck (like six figures) for teaching Zuck to foil and thereby endangering real surfers at any line-up he bumbles into.
Zuckerberg owns several hundreds yards of beachfront on Kauai – and probably an island in Fiji – so he probably won’t be blundering into anyone anytime soon.
I don’t think he would be able to handle the surf in front of his house when it is on.
precisely, not a chance
Heres hoping he makes it to the 100 Billion club, The first Surfer to do so.
His Wife surfs too. https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
You’ve taken that photo out of context, she’s actually practicing Wing Chung. I know you’re a truth speaker and I couldn’t be silent about this.
His wife rents from Dive Oahu & Surf.
Here’s hoping that native Hawaiians catch him alone (word is that he can’t even shop at Foodland by himself) and give him a thorough haole beatdown. Also, calling Zuck a surfer is being euphemistic.
The Ocean belongs to no one and us all, it decides who rides its bumps and lumps.
Surfer, Surfing. We are all one in our Tribe.
Well that’s an unusually insipid reply, Negs. Keep up with these Kumbaya moments, and you may want to consider changing your screen name to Positron. Lol
Did Freerider slip something into your beer?
Imagine having all the money in the world and don’t know how to surf.
What a waste.
Zuckerberg in German translates to “pile of sugar”.