"We wish we could always live in harmony with them, but when we venture into the ocean, they are the top predator."
Call it the new normal, I suppose, although a better expression might be, prepare to die in the mouth of a ten-foot Great White ‘cause there ain’t the political will or the stomach to start killin’ Whites.
Along with Jon Cohen’s shark bite kits featuring SWAT tourniquets that can be stuffed in wetsuits and Ukranian-made, war-proven crank handle tourniquets kept in cars and in lifeguard towers, a Gold Coast-based surfer is marketing a stainless steel spike you keep in your wetty and, when attacked, you pull out of sheath and stab hell out of beast.
The Biteback, which sells for forty-five Australian dollars, is made from 316 stainless steel, (the second best in the game, use 304 if you wanna the best), has a plastic handle (recycled ocean plastic) and is designed, says its inventor, not to kill but to give the attacking shark second thoughts.
According to marketing literature attached to the device,
“We love and respect these gods and have a long history with them. We wish we could always live in harmony with them, but when we venture into the ocean, they are the top predator. Humans have no natural defense, except for our brains. Research has shown that sometimes, all it takes is a sharp bump or poke around its face to dissuade it of further interaction…
“Finding yourself in the company of a hungry or curious shark is not a good feeling, seeing as we have no natural defense.
We do have brains however and research has shown that the eyes, gills and electroreceptors concentrated around a shark’s snout (Ampullae of Lorenzini) are their most sensitive parts. Therefore we’ve designed and developed The Biteback to help fend and fight off these apex predators and increase your odds of survival in an ‘investigation’ or attack.”
You got the wherewithal to drive that shiny 316 blade into the White’s beak?
Ahhh. You beat me to it. Commented on a post higher up the ladder, but you’re the original.
Nailed it.
(Fuck off. That’s funny and you know it).
Yeah, sounds like it might have been a reef shark.
The bay was pretty fun this afternoon, you guys getting any of this northwest swell?
It’s all fun and games till someone gets their eye poked out ….
Kong’s dad stuck a big knife in a shark’s head while untangling a prawn net which got caught on his propeller …. but he was alone under the fishing boat and his son was on deck with a shot gun , 15 , shitting himself ….. and was very happy when his dad came back on deck alive … without the knife .
I have applied my mind in consideration of this device. It is shit.
The real information is always in the comments.
The last thing snapper needs is 200 aggro cunts with a shiv in the lineup. Fuck this.
Not to mention that the inventor loves sharks. He can poke himself to death as far as I’m concerned.
And up till now everyone has been thinking that jet skis were the enemy ?
Well, if the spike can be used to sink a jetski, they get my vote.
Yeah, that’s right. Fuck you guys using a jetski at 6′ Noosa.
Who comes up with these names?
Creep resisting?
I’m sure you’ve met a few?
Fuk it, twin katanas at all times ninja turtle style maybe a chain mail short arm to be safe..
Don’t you think a thruster katana would be more Hi-Perf?
Gratuitous, like another shark story.
Struggling with answering you on the other thread, reached for low lying fruit. Wally
Does Trump remind anyone of Wally George?
Was it some prophetic example of dystopia? And the studio audience…. is it that hard to imagine them wearing MAGAt hats?
Nobel prize comin up
Yeeaaahh boi!!!
exactly. like Car dings…. just happen when you lose focus for one second.
I’ll bet you had a coke fetish?
Not a weed guy, that’s for sure…. but the powder….. ????
Course its all over now, you left Newps.
Personally, I would fish the mother fuckers.
And I’m not in the LT camp of Greenough devotee, BUT, dude makes a good point if you do see them.
They have never been preyed upon, so George’s theory is you paddle straight onto one and “attack” it first.
Theory is, the shark won’t leave in fear but in confusion… what the fuck just happened.
Now for the VELo spoon deal…. nah man, maybe that’s why he sees enough sharks dude is practically trolling the lineup underwater.
Trouble is it’s never the one you see that gets you.
Just start rollerblading, 100% effective.
slippery slope unless you use spikes…..
I’m not sure I get the reference, but I’ll take it.
https://youtu.be/OGXdAA6Cwy0
you do any nibbling on tender parts around the nose and breast?
Oh boy, this is going to end well.
We’ve all seen how silly some grown men become in the surf when their ego is damaged. I can only imagine how localism would look in a world where half of the line-up are carrying concealed blades.
And is it really just a coincidence that this thing looks like exactly the type of tool needed to swiftly let some tyres down?
Multi use. And who sees the shark coming? Too late amigo, you should have strapped the shiv to your arm not the leg that is now gone bleeding out.
My thoughts exactly. If I had one during my attack, it would have been strapped to my non leashed left leg, clamped in the sharks mouth.
Maybe if Jodie Cooper had one she could have popped Thommo’s surf mat and deflated the whole situation?