"We wish we could always live in harmony with them, but when we venture into the ocean, they are the top predator."
Call it the new normal, I suppose, although a better expression might be, prepare to die in the mouth of a ten-foot Great White ‘cause there ain’t the political will or the stomach to start killin’ Whites.
Along with Jon Cohen’s shark bite kits featuring SWAT tourniquets that can be stuffed in wetsuits and Ukranian-made, war-proven crank handle tourniquets kept in cars and in lifeguard towers, a Gold Coast-based surfer is marketing a stainless steel spike you keep in your wetty and, when attacked, you pull out of sheath and stab hell out of beast.
The Biteback, which sells for forty-five Australian dollars, is made from 316 stainless steel, (the second best in the game, use 304 if you wanna the best), has a plastic handle (recycled ocean plastic) and is designed, says its inventor, not to kill but to give the attacking shark second thoughts.
According to marketing literature attached to the device,
“We love and respect these gods and have a long history with them. We wish we could always live in harmony with them, but when we venture into the ocean, they are the top predator. Humans have no natural defense, except for our brains. Research has shown that sometimes, all it takes is a sharp bump or poke around its face to dissuade it of further interaction…
“Finding yourself in the company of a hungry or curious shark is not a good feeling, seeing as we have no natural defense.
We do have brains however and research has shown that the eyes, gills and electroreceptors concentrated around a shark’s snout (Ampullae of Lorenzini) are their most sensitive parts. Therefore we’ve designed and developed The Biteback to help fend and fight off these apex predators and increase your odds of survival in an ‘investigation’ or attack.”
You got the wherewithal to drive that shiny 316 blade into the White’s beak?