Advertisement
"Dear latex gloves, I don't like you and am going to start a social media campaign to get you cancelled."

“Surfers Against Sewage” describes explosion of pandemic-related pollution on beaches, vows to “name and shame” companies who make most waste on social media!

Cancelling trash.

Captain’s log, Coronavirus pandemic day 5674. The global mood has reached its possible nadir with most people too depressed to make a fuss about anything. Tired shrugs and French-style flat tire sighs are the most common responses to both highs and lows.

A general, unrelenting malaise.

But what is this from grey olde England? A group of “Surfers Against Sewage” who are mad as hell and not going to take it anymore?

It’s true and in times of real trauma, we can always count on those with stiff upper lips to carry us through but what is making these heroes so angry?

Pandemic-related pollution washing up on their beaches, ours too, by the ton.

Jack Middleton from Cornwall-based group told the BBC, “Since lockdown has started to be lifted we’ve witnessed a new wave of plastic pollution littering our beaches in the form of disposable masks and gloves. While the PPE has helped to save lives over the past few months, we now need to consider how we dispose of it properly to prevent it from flowing into our rivers and oceans and destroying our beaches. We’re used to seeing plastic bottles and bags when we’re surfing but this new type of plastic pollution is something that no-one could have foreseen.”

Beach cleanups etc. have been organized but Surfers Against Sewage has another plan on how to deal with the problem. “Name and shame offending companies on social media.”

I love a good social media flogging and we should get in on the action too, starting with latex gloves. I’ve never liked the things as they make hands very sweaty etc. I think leather driving gloves are much better and more chic too. These right here would do well.

Screw you, latex gloves. Soak in that hot, sweaty shame.

0 0 votes
Article Rating

Commented on Disqus? Log out, tap the Disqus button, and your old name and comments come back. The box is ours.

Join the discussion

Your comments are still here. Every one of them.

Twelve years of BeachGrit comments came across from Disqus. Connect and we will show you how many are yours. We get your username, nothing else.

Unclaimed
Handle
Comments
Posting since

Connect Disqus to reveal.

Subscribe
Notify of
44 Comments
Newest
Oldest Most Voted
John Non John

The amount of waste we produce is gross, really sad. NonJohn is gross too. Much garbage producing I do even though I try to be a decent earth steward. The crap we buy to survive, work, study, have fun, or whatever, is surrounded by so much useless packaging it’s shameful. Shameful. Why so much packaging?
The good news is that the garbage bin gets picked up today. So stoked.

#fvckamazon – are they hiring?

Ed

I’ve done it !!!!!

out of the millions of surfers i can firmly put my hand up and say first!!!

ive caught convid19.

Its just like the flu?

i think I’ll join a blm rally and cough over everyone and steal a new PlayStation during the looting

advice?

NEGATRON

Sorry to burst your bubble but you’re not the first surfer! A buddy of mine and his Wife brought it back to my town from the Uk.
Cottoned onto it pretty quick and didn’t pass it around, only effect on her was loss of smell and taste.
Him… mid 40’s and reasonably fit he ended up in intensive care. Scared the fuck out of him.

You? Hows it effecting you physically and your physical space?

Ed

Your a hater

NEGATRON

Oh it’s you again… BBC.

Chief Hot stuff

Finally smthn we agree on!

Otto

What happens to media if Biden wins:
https://youtu.be/fDKUB7I-5fY

Chief Hot stuff

Haha, yes!!!
The kids are all right!!

?uzzled

When I lived in DC during the crack/AIDS/murder pandemic, there were so many used condoms on the sidewalks around my building that it was impossible to not step on them. Those were the good old days.

Chief Hot stuff

You lived in Clinton’s white house?

James Bickerton

No the skate shoe Bex .

Waterproof Polo

Been seeing a fair few masks discarded around the beach and generally in the street.. not so much gloves though.. what the fuck is wrong with the assholes? Kinda wish they got COVID and died off, polluting jerks we don’t need to protect.

James Bickerton

And tissues , I’ve neve seen so many discarded tissues in my life !

Tomas' silky smooth arms

Gloves are good for masturbating with too as it it’s like someone else’s hands are doing the job. Someone was going to say it.

Beef & Beer

Bex will be along later…

Chief Hot stuff

I concur.
Also negates hand callus.
Good call Tssa!

Chief Hot stuff

I like to fantasise that it’s myself doing it

Tomas' silky smooth arms

Ha ha creepy! Nice.

James Bickerton

As Rex Bex you may use the Royal “WE” … We are fantasizing about I masturbating We …. ?

Ricky Spanish

Should he include Kelly in his gross polluter shame campaign?

Beef & Beer

The chain-mail gloves worn by meat processors and shark wranglers are pretty good too…

Lemon Next to the Pie

What happened to sitting on your arm for 5 minutes?

ricmatic

I just ordered a ten pack of those gloves. They’re so me.

Otto

Automatic

James Bickerton

Hydromatic ….. waste water pumps ?

Stephen Wolfram

OJ! Golf too boring for you?

ricmatic

If it doesn’t fit, you must a quit surfing!

Phat-wan kerr

spatula hands?

Phat-wan kerr

jack is going to be a busy boy. most things on social media could be defined as waste.

Otto

Not to be confused with Surfers Against Sew Age, that hyperflex group that protests tiny fingers of child labor cross stitching shoddy wet worn suits in sweat shops along the Orient express.

Otto

Surfers Against Sew Age recently released a video of a child who when refused to sew shitty wetsuits, was ordered into a “go-fly-a-kite” internment camp. “Re-education is not lofty” stated a CCP official.
https://youtu.be/pMPz92x75iw

Chief Hot stuff

WTF!!!

James Bickerton

My T-shirts from Bangladesh and my wetsuit from Thailand .

Karl Von Fanningstadt

Speaking of trash, the WSL has Taylor Steele’s The Show featured on its website. Ahhh, nothing like getting to reminisce about how unfunny the dude and his skits were.

@surfads

Oh really? They were indeed terrible but it will be a big nostalgia hit for me. Will check it out.

Actually a smart move by the woz too

Wiggolly's Paddling Style

Where are you hiding mate? I can protect you from the WSL.

@surfads

I’ve realised we’re all part of the same salty warriors tribe. Accepted a lucrative offer to host a surf nostalgia program with Jonathan Wayne freeman on WSL TV. Coming soon.

Wiggolly's Paddling Style

If you get me some sort of paid gig spinning the roulette wheel like Plucka Duck then I will have no qualms with this.

@surfads

Yes, we can get you boozed up beforehand to grope/fight the guests

Lemon Next to the Pie

That’s just a regular saturday night. Save your booze money.

Greebnurt Hurkurmurgurt

A dangerous cunt like Wiggs seems like he could possibly be the kind of employee that shows up to work already drunk? At least the old Wiggs from the old Stab days. He seems to have mellowed with age lately.

James Bickerton

Showing your age @S ….. A victim of the momentum generation ?

@surfads

Was never a massive Poor specimen fan but did enjoy the show, focus, Good times, factory seconds etc.

James Bickerton

Good luck with the new project …. and try to keep the bastards honest .


44
0
Would love your thoughts, please comment.x
()
x