Rare company.
Oh the unseen dangers lurking amongst the tule fog and cow stink of central California’s Lemoore. There is: 1) Stiffer than normal whiskey sodas poured at the Tachi Palace Casino Resort by gruff bartenders. 2) Methamphetamine. 3) Kelly Slater’s Surf Ranch which boasts “The World’s Best and Longest Barrel for Human Beings Under Three Feet Tall.”
I know first hand.
When Derek Rielly and I traveled there, a handful of years ago, to participate in “media day” at the aforementioned Surf Ranch we shared a comfortable room at the Tachi Palace and drank a handful of whiskey sodas each. I somehow escaped the head-splitting, stomach-turning hangover but Derek Rielly did not, waking up the morning we were scheduled to hunch into the aforementioned barrel very green in the face.
He somehow worked through his discomfort and put on quite a show for Chris Cotê, Vaughn Dead, Nick Carroll and others.
I did not and as poet laureate Ben Marcus enjoys immortalizing, bounced off the cement bottom and loosened my arm from its socket.
It was not the first time. My arm had been loosened from its socket a good 30-ish times prior but still very frustrating and as I shuffled to the pool’s edge, reinserting it, I was very frustrated though semi-placated myself with re-inserting it in front of the lifeguard while sneering about medical attention. Like Mel Gibson in Lethal Weapon.
Well, I am now joined by world famous DJ and influencer Diplo who just became nearly decapitated by the Oompa-Loompa.
Ouch but I feel Diplo’s pain. That 30-ish time was enough for me to get my arm surgically sewn in and while it was a horrible experience my arm no longer falls out of place. I would recommend the same to Diplo, re. his head, and will hope that poet laureate Ben Marcus also eulogizes him.
Very cool.
Poet laureate?
Not really into poetry, although there is one that starts:
There once was a man from Nantucket.
Don’t remember the rest.
Can someone explain the DJ thing?
So this dude doesn’t write music. Doesn’t play an instrument? Doesn’t perform or play music?
This dude just plays other people’s music and that’s got value?
Really?
I agree with this guy: https://www.youtube.com/wat…
This guy writes it all, plays it all, records it all, and sells it to the party. Does a better job than most.
All of these dingalings – from Diplo to Kanye West – need to be strapped into chairs and forced to listen to Isaac Hayes and Curtis Mayfield and Stevie Wonder and Gladys Knight and Chaka Kahn and Tower of Power and Stanley Clarke and the Staples Singers and about a hundred others – and be reminded that good music isn’t about some phony brother mumbling about his Johnson and calling women bitches and hos.
I sent that RBG idea to Naughty by Nature’s people but they said:
Hey brother, (He called me ‘brother!’)
I think we are going to pass on this idea – she was an amazing women and represented people especially young women of all colors with the most of integrity.
Also – even being a man of color, I would take issue with calling white people “whities” even if they are far right.
If there is a way to celebrate a life without condemning a race I am all for it – but with where we are now culturally, I am not trying to have my clients stir the pot.
Thanks for the idea though!!
Who da fuck is you?
https://www.youtube.com/wat…
Zonk article
What does Zonk mean Lilly? Have I aged so fast I’ve missed a new word. Again?
I feel that I may be responsible for this. I’m deeply sorry to the world if I inadvertently set this in motion. Call it a gut feeling. Lilly replied to my Kenny Powers comment with “Totally zonk”. I wonder if she is referencing old Batman TV show punches, ya know ” ZONK”, “POW”. Then Lilly went all in, and permanently fused zonk in to daily use. Now everything that was once lame, bogus or generally something she disagrees with, she’ll now be calling it ” Zonk”. Lame just got replaced.
I think the Trill Kids who are getting fleeked are now using Zonk.
Who are you and why am I reading this. Don’t care.
Who are you is the big question you need to ask yourself next time you’re looking in the mirror Craig.
I wasn’t asking who I am. Lol. Moron
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You are a curious creature are you not?
Not really, I just think its hilarious that someone almost got “rocked” in a wave pool. In Lemoore none the less. Lol, I don’t even care or know who you are. But blocked cuz I’m going to bed. Have fun with your instafame.
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I’m delighted to be blocked! How exciting!
Especially via a glamorous Samsung Galaxy Note20 Ultra 5G, an AT&T 5G smartphone!!!
Say Craig, didn’t you go to Fresno City College?
Certainly more kudos than being blocked by a Lenovo M10 Tab Plus 10.3
I aspire to be blocked by a Jardin Secret one day.
“ Made by jewelry maker Savelli, the Jardin Secret Collection is a pack of 12 Android smartphones specifically crafted for women who want smartphones that they can flash. The construction of the phone includes high grade iguana leather, ceramic, and sati materials. As for the rocks, the Jardin Secret phones glitter with white and cognac diamonds, 395 diamonds to be specific. Topping the phone’s luxurious aura is a panel of 18k rose gold, which lines the sides and the top of the phone.”
You might be able to grow your own in the secret garden .
No I went to school in New Zealand probably before you were born dumb cunt, but I don’t care enough to look at your profile. Get a life.
You know we should all spend more time asking who we are. We all carry so much baggage around who we think we think we are, who we want to be and why are we not that person. But if we all take a little time to look in that metaphorical mirror, stripping away our sense of self, the worries, the wants and the desires, we may find a deep understanding of who we are that we can carry through to our conscious selves … or you could just get drunk like the rest of us.
You’re a fucking idiot
Snappy comeback bro
May I suggest you read posts twice before responding on your Samsung Galaxy Note20 Ultra 5G, an AT&T 5G smartphone.
This should be fun
Faggot. Is that what yours says when you cry into it asking yourself that question everyday? Your parents say the same thing about you too. That’s awful, I’m so sorry 🙁
Faggot and Mum and Dad insults. Are you 12?
Try as I might, the requisite sympathy flows not, for the varied celebrities with money / connections to ponce-aquatique such facilities.
The guys that do meth at avalanche usually fit in about 10 weirdly placed turns per wave! Guess Lamemore should import from the Coast…..
I’d love to see footage of that.
This doesn’t help @mlbam-dc352289d9ae89e6bfa4beab82cc9213:disqus’s conspiracy theory that Chas has buried all footage of him surfing the ranch.
Commenter is lame.
He might be a poofter.
https://www.youtube.com/wat…
This might be your best comment yet
Poet laureate?
Not this time.
The Oyster Place regularly broadcasts ethnic music from coloreds and others, and yesterday they played O.P.P.
That inspired a Google search for the lyrics to Eminem’s final rap in Eight Mile – directed by the same dude who directed 5/6th of the Mavericks movie – and inspired an attempt to rewrite the lyrics to O.P.P as a tribute to R.B.G.
Here is the start.
Not clever enough to write the whole thing.
Anyone know Eminem?
RBG
RBG, how can I explain her?
Right whities couldn’t tame her
She wore those robes more stylee, than Darth Vader
R is for Ruth
B is for Bader,
G is for Ginsburg, thanks honey, for keeping it real.
Who was this righteous chick? Well…that’s not that simple
THAT’S AS FAR AS I GOT.
HERES.THE REST
It’s sorta like another way to call a cat a kitten
It’s five little letters that are missin’ here
You get on occasion at the other party
As a game ‘n it seems I gotta start to explainin’
Bust it
You ever had a girl and met her on a nice hello
You get her name and number and then you feelin’ real mellow
You get home, wait a day, she’s what you want to know about
Then you call up and it’s her girlfriend or her cousin’s house
It’s not a front, F to the are to the O to the N to the T
It’s just her boyfriend’s at her house (Boy, that’s what is scary)
It’s OPP, time other people’s what you get it
There’s no room for relationship there’s just room to hit it
How many brothers out there know just what I’m gettin’ at
Who thinks it’s wrong ”cause I’m splittin’ and co-hittin’ at
Well if you do, that’s OPP and you’re not down with it
But if you don’t, here’s your membership
You down with OPP (Yeah you know me) [Repeat: x3]
Who’s down with OPP (Every last homie)
You down with OPP (Yeah you know me) [Repeat: x3]
Who’s down with OPP (All the homies)
As for the ladies, OPP means something gifted
The first two letters are the same but the last is something different
It’s the longest, loveliest, lean– I call it the leanest
It’s another five letter word rhymin’ with cleanest and meanest
I won’t get into that, I’ll do it…ah…sorta properly
I say the last P…hmmm…stands for property
Now lady here comes a kiss, blow a kiss back to me, now tell me exactly
Have you ever known a brother who have another like ah girl or wife
And you just had to stop and just ”cause he look just as nice
You looked at him, he looked at you and you knew right away
That he had someone but he was gonna be yours anyway
You couldn’t be seen with him and honestly you didn’t care
‘Cause in a room behind a door no one but why’all are there
When why’all are finish, why’all can leave and only why’all would know
And then why’all could throw the skeleton bones right in the closet do’
Now don’t be shocked ”cause if you’re down I want your hands up high
Say OPP (OPP) I like to say with pride
Now when you do it, do it well and make sure that it counts
You’re now down with a discount
You down with OPP (Yeah you know me) [Repeat: x3]
Who’s down with OPP (Every last homie)
You down with OPP (Yeah you know me) [Repeat: x3]
Who’s down with OPP (All the homies)
This girl ah tried to OPP me
I had a girl and she knew that matter-of-fact my girl was partner’s that
Had a fall out, disagreement, yeah an argument
She tried to do me so we did it in my apartment, bust it
That wasn’t the thing it must have been the way she hit the ceiling
‘Cause after that she kept on coming back and catchin’ feelings
I said, “Let’s go my girl is coming so you gotta leave”
She said, “Oh no, I love you Treach” I said, “Now child please”
You got’s to leave, come grab your coat, right now you gotta go
I said now look you to the stairs and to the stair window
This was a thing, a little thing, you shouldn’t have put your heart
‘Cause you know I was OPP, hell from the very start
Come on, come on, now let me tell you what it’s all about
When you get down, you can’t go ’round runnin’ off at the mouth
That’s rule number one in this OPP establishment
You keep your mouth shut and it won’t get back to her or him
Exciting isn’t it, a special kinda business
Many of you will catch the same sorta OPP is you with
Him or her for sure is going to admit it
When OPP comes, damn– skippy I’m with it
You down with OPP (Yeah you know me) [Repeat: x3]
Who’s down with OPP (Every last homie)
You down with OPP (Yeah you know me) [Repeat: x3]
Who’s down with OPP (All the homies)
Break it down!
After Trump got elected, Ruth became slim shady.
is it considered deadnaming to call selema sal?
Is he going for the chop?
Did he get a head diplo?
If the word ‘nearly’ wasn’t between “world famous dj/influencer” and “decapitated” it would’ve been your best headline ever…
Makes you wonder, on one’s rise to World Famous Influencer, must one first regionally qualify? Hemispherically? Continentally? I imagine the low rung is the Citiest Shitiest. But who’s County-ing.
You can’t get a hangover if you stay drunk.
Derek’s cutback at :11 is still one of the best turns I’ve seen at Surf Ranch. A rare moment of harmony between man and nocean. A close second to Griffin Coca Cola Pinto Bean’s fin reverse to barrel ride.
Guess he didn’t diplo enough
What’s the chances Erik Logan attended a Diplo show, submerged in a sweaty Molly mess, and had an E-piphany then, there, God knows where, and E-Lo was born?
He might of ended up in court …. but he never would have been decapitated , if he had just rode , an inflatable DIPLO-MAT ?
Your style suits a midlength
Very fluid. Like slow motion ballet.
Your body thought you were surfing a mid length all these years.