Listen: Movie director Michael Oblowitz on
surf fights, being a celibate bisexual and his yet-to-be-released
Sunny Garcia documentary: “I have a very clear view of the last
days of Sunny’s life and what happened…”
By Derek Rielly
“Sunny was one of the loveliest people I ever met.
And when he wasn’t, I steered clear of him…”
Today’s guest on Dirty Water, episode
thirty-one, is the South African-born movie director Michael
Oblowitz.
He is the king of straight-to-DVD films including two thrillers
with Steven Seagal, both shot in Eastern Europe, and the vampire
schlock film The Traveler, made in
Canada, with the once very famous Val Kilmer.
More to our purposes, Oblowitz, who now lives in Sherman Oaks,
California, created the two greatest surf documentaries the world
has never seen, Sea of Darkness, about
the birth of the surf industry via drug trafficking, and the
ten-years-in-the-making Sunny Garcia: Death
and Taxes.
Over the course of seventy-one minutes, Oblowitz talks about
surf fights, being a celibate bisexual and about life for Sunny
after his failed suicide attempt.
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Two-time world surfing champion Tyler
Wright attacks big-wave icon and co-founder of pro surfing Ian
‘Kanga’ Cairns’ “privilege”, claiming “(I’m) a direct recipient of
sexism, homophobia and inequality.”
By Derek Rielly
Legend shoots back, "Don’t preach to me until you
have 50 years of service under your belt."
Yesterday, as the US burned from coast to coast, Surfer
magazine, Bible of the Sport, endorsed the Joe Biden-Kamala Harris
ticket over Trump-Pence for the Prez/VP combo.
A comment that read, “There’s a reason that Surfer has not been
in politics and that’s because surfing is a place where we can
retreat from name calling and shit-fuckery over politics, race,
gender, religion etc you just shat where you eat. Surfing is about
a great family where all that bullshit doesn’t matter. It’s one of
the last places where we collectively agree about one thing: are
the waves great.”
Pretty innocuous, you’d think.
The two-time champ, howevs, lit up.
“You may have the privilege to retreat however many don’t.”
(To which, one wit commented, “says the girl who retreats by
galavanting around the globe on jets to surf in any paradise. Put
your money where your mouth is then, quit surfing and “retreat”
100% to your cause.”)
Cairns wrote,
“Yes, mate, I’ve spent my whole life supporting surfing and will
continue to do so until I drop. You’re a direct recipient of the
work I’ve done. Don’t preach to me until you have 50 years of
service under your belt.”
Wright,
“Yeah, a direct recipient of sexism, homophobia and inequality.
Appreciate it.”
The holy trifecta of intersectionality!
“It should never happen, you’re a great surfer,” wrote
Cairns.
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New York surfers rejoice as Rockaway set to
become destination for millions: “You can’t just make a surf break.
It’s either there or it’s not!”
By Chas Smith
Come one come all!
Rockaway, the very famous peninsula jutting off New York
City, has long been a relatively lightly trafficked
stretch of beach even though it is merely a subway train ride from
Manhattan, Queens, Brooklyn. Millions upon millions of people right
there but generally ignoring it because there has been no place to
stay or really eat or much of anything to do.
Until now.
CNN just published a story sure to thrill the local surfers
titled: New York City’s only surfing beach is finally primed
for overnight tourists.
Surfers, as you know, are lonely and enjoy making friends and
get sad when there are no friends to make. Those frown town
Rockaway days are over, though, as D.F.Ders (down for the dayers)
can now stretch those single days into multiple days and paddle
Wavestorms around the inside and go straight on the outside.
It’s actually the only legal surf spot in all of NYC, and,
perhaps more importantly: it’s the only beach that gets a surf
break.
“You can’t just make a surf break. It’s either there or it’s
not,” Jon Krasner, one of The Rockaway Hotel’s partners and owners,
explains. Terence and Dan Tubridy, brothers and third-generation
Rockaway residents, are the hotel’s other partners, along with
Michi Jigarjian.
Not surprisingly, expect to find the requisite surf shops
and surf crowd who have either decamped permanently to the
Rockaways to divide their time between well, surfing, and whatever
work will keep them afloat (sorry, not sorry!) or who won’t
hesitate to play hooky if the surf looks promising.
“I had three friends today call in late to work, to come
surfing in the morning and then they jumped on the ferry to go into
work,” Krasner says.
Putting this past summer aside, Rambaran doesn’t understand
why the Rockaways hasn’t gotten more attention worldwide: “it’s
baffling that the area isn’t more of an international
destination.”
Well, now that the surf life is easier than ever and regular
life is easier than ever, millions in the water are almost
guaranteed.
Many new friends for existing surfers.
Thrilled and thrilling.
But also, you can just make a surf break FYI. It’s called Kelly
Slater’s Surf Ranch or, actually, WaveGarden.
Fun.
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World #25 WSL surfer-turned-porn-maven
Ellie-Jean Coffey releases bombshell claims against surf industry:
“I was spat on!”
By Derek Rielly
Important developments…
Four days ago, the former world #25 WSL surfer,
Ellie-Jean Coffey, spoke to the Rupert Murdoch site news.com.au of
abuse in the “toxic”, “misogynistic” and “male-dominated
surf industry.”
The accusations were vague enough to accuse everyone and no one
and a compelling pointer to her XXX-subscriber-only website where,
for money beyond the ten dollars a month subscriber fee, lonely men
might access posts such as “Blowjob doggystyle… my favourite
position while sucking (lips and eggplant emoji)” and “NIPPLES and
PUSSY. Full NUDE in the shower.”
Another post beckons, “CUM to me daddy.”
Today, via Instagram and in three seperate videos, Coffey goes
into detail of the horrors suffered, which you can watch below.
(Part one, “I was spat on!”)
(Part two, eight-minute diatribe, “I was constantly subjected to
dangerous situations.”)
(Part three, tearful attack on surf industry, relatively vague
but emotional, with neat segue into porn site: “There’s a part of
me that’s always been sexual or promiscuous… I think you’ve all
seen that. It’s good to share that with people and have one-on-one
chats. It’s brought me happiness.”)
More as it CUMS.
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“Bible of Sport” Surfer Magazine takes
unprecedented step by endorsing political candidate for first time
in storied history; enrages and titillates fans: “You waited until
a senile puppet came up against an obnoxious TV reality personally
to make this claim?”
By Chas Smith
It's go time!
Oh but what a day we have all lived to see.
What an unprecedentedly wild day. Surfer Magazine, the
“Bible of the Sport,” established almost exactly 60 years ago has,
for the first time in its storied history, endorsed a candidate for
President of the United States of America.
Was it Trump x Pence?
Biden x Harris?
I’ll save you the mental anguish.
https://www.instagram.com/p/CF0HtjuBZKE/
In an Instagram post rocketed to over 2.2 million followers
Editor-in-Chief Todd Prodanovich wrote:
“Keep politics out of surfing” is a common refrain on social
media these days, but the fact is the decisions made in the
political realm have tremendous influence over our surfing lives
and the health of our coasts. And as our window to prevent the
worst outcomes from climate change closes, its more important now
than ever to vote like the future of surfing depends on
it.
That’s why, for the first time in Surfer’s 60-year history,
we’re endorsing a presidential ticket.
Click our link in bio to read about why surfers should vote
for @joebiden and @kamalaharris.
Reaction, as you might imagine, was swift and also
celebrity-filled.
Jessi-Miley Cyrus: I love this (muscle arm
emojis, heart)
Father of Professional Surfer Ian Cairns:
There’s a reason that Surfer has not been in politics and that’s
because surfing is a place where we can retreat from name calling
and shit-fuckery over politics, race, gender, religion etc. you
just shat where you eat. Surfing is about a great family where all
that bullshit doesn’t matter. It’s one of the last places where we
collectively agree about one thing: are the waves great.
Handsome Boi Jay Alvarrez: Lmfaooooo who’s
going to get fired on the marketing team for this dumb move
U.S. Olympic Surf Team Coach Brett Simpson:
Your caught in a RIP tide.
High-end surfboard shaper Matt Biolos: You
waited until a senile puppet came up against an obnoxious TV
reality personally to make this claim?
Plus much unfollow, Trump2020, thanks for the brave stand,
unfollow with all of my friends, Trump, blah blah blah, etc.
Me?
What do I feel?
Oh, thank for asking.
I think political endorsements by media, especially in these
modern (post-1990) times are as silly as they are
counterproductive, very likely turning more off than they turn on,
but the numbers game is shit. This is about passion. About belief.
About pulling the gloves off and neck slapping opponents at
will.
Surfer Magazine Editor-in-Chief Todd Prodanovich has
now taken a stand. Sure, a centrist stand backing an ancient career
politician actively disavowing the “green new deal” but in these
times a centrist stand is bold-ish.
And this ain’t the time for half steps. For bold-ish. This is
the time for scorched earth and Prodanovich must not settle with a
tempest in an instagrampot.
Mealy-mouthed leftism, spineless environmentalism, fake
inclusionsim, high fives and bullshit.
The Inertia is on the ropes. Time to neck slap KO.
Prodanovich and his Surfer should go full ANTIFA
doubling, tripling, quadrupling down on this stand. The
right-adjacent has already left the building. Lukewarm gets spat
out of every mouth, even mealy ones.
Go hard.
As the greatest singer of our time Brandon Flowers crooned,
“What are you made of?” Because what have you got to fear?