New York surfers rejoice as Rockaway set to become destination for millions: “You can’t just make a surf break. It’s either there or it’s not!”

Come one come all!

Rockaway, the very famous peninsula jutting off New York City, has long been a relatively lightly trafficked stretch of beach even though it is merely a subway train ride from Manhattan, Queens, Brooklyn. Millions upon millions of people right there but generally ignoring it because there has been no place to stay or really eat or much of anything to do.

Until now.

CNN just published a story sure to thrill the local surfers titled: New York City’s only surfing beach is finally primed for overnight tourists.

Surfers, as you know, are lonely and enjoy making friends and get sad when there are no friends to make. Those frown town Rockaway days are over, though, as D.F.Ders (down for the dayers) can now stretch those single days into multiple days and paddle Wavestorms around the inside and go straight on the outside.

Per CNN:

It’s actually the only legal surf spot in all of NYC, and, perhaps more importantly: it’s the only beach that gets a surf break.

“You can’t just make a surf break. It’s either there or it’s not,” Jon Krasner, one of The Rockaway Hotel’s partners and owners, explains. Terence and Dan Tubridy, brothers and third-generation Rockaway residents, are the hotel’s other partners, along with Michi Jigarjian.

Not surprisingly, expect to find the requisite surf shops and surf crowd who have either decamped permanently to the Rockaways to divide their time between well, surfing, and whatever work will keep them afloat (sorry, not sorry!) or who won’t hesitate to play hooky if the surf looks promising.

“I had three friends today call in late to work, to come surfing in the morning and then they jumped on the ferry to go into work,” Krasner says.

Putting this past summer aside, Rambaran doesn’t understand why the Rockaways hasn’t gotten more attention worldwide: “it’s baffling that the area isn’t more of an international destination.”

Well, now that the surf life is easier than ever and regular life is easier than ever, millions in the water are almost guaranteed.

Many new friends for existing surfers.

Thrilled and thrilling.

But also, you can just make a surf break FYI. It’s called Kelly Slater’s Surf Ranch or, actually, WaveGarden.

Fun.


“There’s a part of me that’s always been sexual or promiscuous… I think you’ve all seen that. It’s good to share that with people and have one-on-one chats. It’s brought me happiness.” | Photo: @elliejeancoffey

World #25 WSL surfer-turned-porn-maven Ellie-Jean Coffey releases bombshell claims against surf industry: “I was spat on!”

Important developments… 

Four days ago, the former world #25 WSL surfer, Ellie-Jean Coffey, spoke to the Rupert Murdoch site news.com.au of abuse in the “toxic”, “misogynistic” and “male-dominated surf industry.”

The accusations were vague enough to accuse everyone and no one and a compelling pointer to her XXX-subscriber-only website where, for money beyond the ten dollars a month subscriber fee, lonely men might access posts such as “Blowjob doggystyle… my favourite position while sucking (lips and eggplant emoji)” and “NIPPLES and PUSSY. Full NUDE in the shower.”

Another post beckons, “CUM to me daddy.”

Today, via Instagram and in three seperate videos, Coffey goes into detail of the horrors suffered, which you can watch below.

(Part one, “I was spat on!”)

(Part two, eight-minute diatribe, “I was constantly subjected to dangerous situations.”)

(Part three, tearful attack on surf industry, relatively vague but emotional, with neat segue into porn site: “There’s a part of me that’s always been sexual or promiscuous… I think you’ve all seen that. It’s good to share that with people and have one-on-one chats. It’s brought me happiness.”)

More as it CUMS.


“Bible of Sport” Surfer Magazine takes unprecedented step by endorsing political candidate for first time in storied history; enrages and titillates fans: “You waited until a senile puppet came up against an obnoxious TV reality personally to make this claim?”

It's go time!

Oh but what a day we have all lived to see. What an unprecedentedly wild day. Surfer Magazine, the “Bible of the Sport,” established almost exactly 60 years ago has, for the first time in its storied history, endorsed a candidate for President of the United States of America.

Was it Trump x Pence?

Biden x Harris?

I’ll save you the mental anguish.

In an Instagram post rocketed to over 2.2 million followers Editor-in-Chief Todd Prodanovich wrote:

“Keep politics out of surfing” is a common refrain on social media these days, but the fact is the decisions made in the political realm have tremendous influence over our surfing lives and the health of our coasts. And as our window to prevent the worst outcomes from climate change closes, its more important now than ever to vote like the future of surfing depends on it.

That’s why, for the first time in Surfer’s 60-year history, we’re endorsing a presidential ticket.

Click our link in bio to read about why surfers should vote for @joebiden and @kamalaharris.

Reaction, as you might imagine, was swift and also celebrity-filled.

Jessi-Miley Cyrus: I love this (muscle arm emojis, heart)

Father of Professional Surfer Ian Cairns: There’s a reason that Surfer has not been in politics and that’s because surfing is a place where we can retreat from name calling and shit-fuckery over politics, race, gender, religion etc. you just shat where you eat. Surfing is about a great family where all that bullshit doesn’t matter. It’s one of the last places where we collectively agree about one thing: are the waves great.

Handsome Boi Jay Alvarrez: Lmfaooooo who’s going to get fired on the marketing team for this dumb move

U.S. Olympic Surf Team Coach Brett Simpson: Your caught in a RIP tide.

High-end surfboard shaper Matt Biolos: You waited until a senile puppet came up against an obnoxious TV reality personally to make this claim?

Plus much unfollow, Trump2020, thanks for the brave stand, unfollow with all of my friends, Trump, blah blah blah, etc.

Me?

What do I feel?

Oh, thank for asking.

I think political endorsements by media, especially in these modern (post-1990) times are as silly as they are counterproductive, very likely turning more off than they turn on, but the numbers game is shit. This is about passion. About belief. About pulling the gloves off and neck slapping opponents at will.

Surfer Magazine Editor-in-Chief Todd Prodanovich has now taken a stand. Sure, a centrist stand backing an ancient career politician actively disavowing the “green new deal” but in these times a centrist stand is bold-ish.

And this ain’t the time for half steps. For bold-ish. This is the time for scorched earth and Prodanovich must not settle with a tempest in an instagrampot.

He must push for bold.

This is the time to take The Inertia out.

Mealy-mouthed leftism, spineless environmentalism, fake inclusionsim, high fives and bullshit.

The Inertia is on the ropes. Time to neck slap KO.

Prodanovich and his Surfer should go full ANTIFA doubling, tripling, quadrupling down on this stand. The right-adjacent has already left the building. Lukewarm gets spat out of every mouth, even mealy ones.

Go hard.

As the greatest singer of our time Brandon Flowers crooned, “What are you made of?” Because what have you got to fear?

Jay Alvarrez?

More as the story develops.


Real hard to out-paddle a Minke whale, top speed thirty clicks. | Photo: @9newsGoldCoast

Watch: the extraordinary moment horror turns to rapture as Australian surfer realises thirty-foot fish is a whale not a Great White!

"Experts in awe" etc.

When you live and surf on Australia’s north-east coast, a thirty-foot shadow appearing underfoot is usually the moment you draw your Biteback stainless steel spike out of your wetsuit and start stabbing hell out of the beast.

If that don’t work, you grab a SWAT tourniquet to staunch the wound.

Death by Great Whites ain’t just an abstract possibility around Byron, Lennox, Ballina and surrounds; these days it’s bandit odds.

At Lennox Head yesterday, surfers were, ultimately, thrilled when two giant shadows chasing bait balls turned out to be Minke whales, the highlight a surfer who refuses to yield priority to an animal that is a favourite delicacy in Korea and Iceland (If you’re in Reykjavik, enjoy Minke here.)

Watch.

 


World-famous YouTubber, vlogger, influencer Casey Neistat goes to Kelly Slater’s Surf Ranch: “Well, this is it. This is the dream!”

Very cool.

The idea of a “YouTubber” is, by now, completely accepted, not even getting auto-corrected, and YouTubbers make millions of dollars etc. A proper career choice and with much greater returns than becoming a rock star or direct-to-air television actor but…

YouTubber.

Has there ever been a word so… absolutely hideous?

Like, if someone came up to me and said, “You can continue to be a surf journalist or we’ll pay you $500,000 a year to be a YouTubber…” I would politely decline the offer because I could not stomach the moniker. And that’s as a surf journalist.

YouTubber.

Have you ever called potatoes “tubers?”

Well, in any case, world-famous YouTubber, vlogger and influencer Casey Neistat traveled to Kelly Slater’s Surf Ranch, recently, to make a YouTube and the Lemoore facility business model is finally becoming clear. While WaveGarden, BSR in Waco, etc. have customers pay money to come and surf, the Surf Ranch team has decided on an influencer strategy, having Diplo, Neistat etc. come over for free.

Who has been your favorite Surf Ranch appearance?

Much to ponder.