New exhaustive study reveals surfing does not help parents in “any way, shape or form” when it comes to placing children in Ivy League schools!

Or wait...

Last night I climbed into bed after a long day of surf journalism and began browsing the news. Stories about Covid-19 spikes, economists warning of imminent market collapse and then a headline from The Atlantic that read, “The Mad, Mad World of Niche Sports Among Ivy League-Obsessed Parents.”

“Time for more surf journalism,” I thought to myself, somewhat exhausted but, as a true professional, got down to reading.

The piece begins with a profile of Sloane, a “buoyant, chatty, stay-at-home mom from Fairfield County, Connecticut” who is shepherding her three daughters through school with dreams, like all stay-at-home mom’s named Sloane, of having them placed in Ivy League colleges/universities.

Harvard, Yale, etc.

Fairfield County is called the “Gold Coast” as it sends more children to the Ivy League than any other place.

The daughters need grades, advanced placement classes, social service activities and, of course as the title suggests, niche sports.

I wondered which east coast surf club the girls belonged to as I skimmed slightly ahead. Wondered if they were hitting one-star QSes or focusing solely on the pro junior events.

Then I was stopped dead in my tracks. One daughter fenced. The other played squash. I read again. Fencing and squash then raced ahead realizing the whole piece was about fencing, squash, lacrosse, rowing, water polo etc. with surfing nowhere to be seen. Nowhere to be even sniffed.

I continued reading, anyhow, and realized that too many rich parents put too many kids with too many coaches etc. into these niche sports and now it’s all a big disaster.

Per The Atlantic:

The stampede of the affluent into grim-faced, highly competitive sports has been a tragicomedy of perverse incentives and social evolution in unequal times: a Darwinian parable of the mayhem that can ensue following the discovery of even a minor advantage. Like a peacock rendered nearly flightless by gaudy tail feathers, the overserved athlete is the product of a process that has become maladaptive, and is now harming the very blue-chip demographic it was supposed to help.

But wait.

Is there an opportunity to bilk rich parents with dreams of Ivy League placement due the entirely recherché activity called surfing?

An ancient Peruvian pastime with roots stretching to Polynesia?

Turning Connecticut’s Gold Coast into Queensland’s and getting wealthy in the process?

Much to ponder.

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Hippy
Hippy
5 years ago

I have old joes on my list at 6.

3rd point lefts were destroyed with kiddie bowl in ’83.

Backside Rincon is very over rated.

and Tim, Magu is not a point and the sand is currently fucked up, but it would rank in the top 10 of any breaks in Cali through the 90’s.

Hippy
Hippy
5 years ago

Bingo.

Belushi’s film, 1941 filmed the plane crash at zero’s and the state used the money to develop the park. The Peacocks were the pets of the next door man on the dirt track leading down to the point and would visit our camp at nights…. meaning they stole food and had no fear of us. 1983 El Nino destroyed the point, small as it was and it is very busy now, but a shadow of itself.

PV holds the top 2 left points and another in the top 5, but you all won’t be welcomed so no point in rubbing that in….

Interesting that Chas mentions Porto…. of course he doesn’t realize that it’s a beach break of mediocrity (similar to north county SD), but it was home to the best left in LA county until the shit pipe was demolished. Thank you Chevron motherfuckers for that. Today, the tiny, short Hammerland Jetty is an insult to the shit pipe pier.

Beef & Beer
Beef & Beer
5 years ago

It really depends what your personal tastes are, as peacock/hen can be used in any recipe you want using a multitude of techniques just as you’d include any other delicious juicy meats…

c4
c4
5 years ago

The place I lived at was a full on professional recording studio, pretty loud place to live, haha. Lots of clubs in the city back then.

c4
c4
5 years ago

Used to live at the church studios in Fairfax that Marty ballin’s dad owned. Cheap rent $175 a month. Grace Slick used to play there all the time. David Crosby would hang out there doing freebase in our living room to hide it from his family. He was driving back home when he got pulled over with a gun and arrested.

Uneducated
Uneducated
5 years ago

Thats pretty clever how you took a story that had nothing to do with surfing…wrote an article confirming it had nothing to do with surfing…as a way of connecting it to surfing

Some days I really question whether my profile name is appropriate

Really?
Really?
5 years ago
Reply to  Uneducated

Hell of a surf journalist

Uneducated
Uneducated
5 years ago
Reply to  Really?

Reports from hell?

You see what he did there…bastard is playing us

Really?
Really?
5 years ago
Reply to  Uneducated

Every post and comment on this website is a report from hell

SectionSB
SectionSB
5 years ago

I was born and raised on that gold coast. Darien…and look where it got me. BG nihilistic oldster!!
We tried to surf, Long Island sound, boat wakes…ugg. Good mud flats for skim boards tho.
Snowboarding custom snurfers was the substitute for waves.

c4
c4
5 years ago

A good book to read is “A Distant Mirror” by Barabra Tuckman”

SectionSB
SectionSB
5 years ago
Reply to  c4

Yeah, good for perspective, thats for sure.
I recall that for good times, when there wasnt any other mayhem to do…. local lads would get a good buzz on, nail a cat to a pole by its tail, tie their hands behind their back, and try to kill it by swinging their heads at it. Or so she says.
I guess some times and eras were rougher than others?
Realized how lucky we are today, to even live past 20 yrs old.

c4
c4
5 years ago
Reply to  SectionSB

Incredible the daily existence that people used to lead. My college history teacher recommended it and it stuck with me to this day.

SectionSB
SectionSB
5 years ago
Reply to  c4

yeah, you can see what stuck in my head. But seriously, just having dentists and decent surgeons around makes all the “chaos” of modern times worth it.

Really?
Really?
5 years ago

Fuck… I wish

SoCalGary
SoCalGary
5 years ago

Just let those parents know the connection of Cocaine + Surfing and it’s a done deal..

CLICK HERE TO BUY

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B…

Billy Hunt
Billy Hunt
5 years ago
Reply to  SoCalGary

Links broken so I’ve DM’d you

Hippy
Hippy
5 years ago

Because I know how hard you work at Surf Journalism Chas, I offer this simple test question to your fine readers who may never answer correctly and be damned to public education….

Name the 5th Best Left Point break in Los Angeles County that was littered with peacocks and was destroyed by John Belushi just months before ’83 El Nino wiped the iconic left from the California coast?

During higher education testing, one is often asked to triangulate clues and connect the dots and I think these 3 clues are very obvious.

Chas Smith
Chas Smith
5 years ago
Reply to  Hippy

El Porto.

SectionSB
SectionSB
5 years ago
Reply to  Hippy

well…PV somewhere…but whats the Belushi connect?

c4
c4
5 years ago

Far too early in the morning to have to look at Dane Guadauskas beaver hole.

Ricky Spanish
Ricky Spanish
5 years ago

College is now an official waste of money. A mountain of debt (for most) and no jobs? What a great deal!

Really?
Really?
5 years ago
Reply to  Ricky Spanish

It’s like saying everyone who’s gone to a surf school should be on the world tour

Abscessed Llama
Abscessed Llama
5 years ago
Reply to  Really?

I’d upvote three times if I could!

Really?
Really?
5 years ago

“Rich” daycare sold to the “poor” unwitting, mostly. Best part is the people supposed to be there, get paid to.

Chazz Michael Michaels
Chazz Michael Michaels
5 years ago

That paragraph quoted from The Atlantic is truly pish.

Beef & Beer
Beef & Beer
5 years ago

Peacocks are good at soaring though.
We’ve got a bunch of wild ones that hang around our farm and are an impressive sight when they soar from the hill to the bottom of the valley.

Bloody tasty too, like the biggest juiciest chicken ever…

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
5 years ago
Reply to  Beef & Beer

And loud. But that’s why you cook them in the first place.

@surfads
@surfads
5 years ago

Stayed at a joint near Yamba once that had a bunch (?) of peacock chicks (?) next door. Every night it sounded like a room full of babies being strangled.

I’m intrigued about eating one now.

Beef & Beer
Beef & Beer
5 years ago
Reply to  @surfads

The plumper plainer looking hens are the best for eating, as a lot of the cocks energy goes into growing their tail feathers which moult and re-grow every year

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
5 years ago
Reply to  @surfads

It’s a horrible sound. There was a camping ground somewhere that had the bastards wandering around looking pretty throughout the day. Not so much appreciated when they kicked off at dawn and sunset.

Beef & Beer
Beef & Beer
5 years ago

Yeah they can sure make a racket, and run like the clappers when trying to take off if cows are chasing them.
Bloody hilarious really

SectionSB
SectionSB
5 years ago
Reply to  Beef & Beer

Good watchbirds though. Scream bloody murder if someone went by them at 3am We had about 7 and a few batches of chicks. Neighbors started complaining though, so I “donated” them to the local zoo. Over the fence they went!!

c4
c4
5 years ago
Reply to  Beef & Beer

Did England take them from you or the opposite? Every castle in England had peacocks.

Beef & Beer
Beef & Beer
5 years ago
Reply to  c4

Originally they came from India and got taken around the world by the English etc way back when everyone was on their colonising trip…

c4
c4
5 years ago

Chas you’re gonna have to refi your house to buy a lacrosse helmet, a horse riding helmet, a snowboarding helmet, and a skateboarding helmet just to get your daughter into a private high school.

Beef & Beer
Beef & Beer
5 years ago
Reply to  c4

After reading (will listen today) about yesterday’s BraBoy, who I’d never heard of, I googled him and read a few old news articles.
Apparently one of his goals was to send his kids to private schools too…
P.S.
Have now listened to it, and found him to be surprisingly charming, interesting and quite normal compared with some people in that trade.

c4
c4
5 years ago
Reply to  Beef & Beer

Fucked up societal situation, especially over here. Undocumented workers with their kids going to public schools. Rich people want cheap maids, gardeners etc but don’t want their kids having to share the same classrooms.

Hippy
Hippy
5 years ago
Reply to  c4

Irony is, wealth requires cheap immigrant labor while it demonizes “illegal aliens”.

Really?
Really?
5 years ago
Reply to  Hippy

Not much real wealth out there. High credit limit don’t count.

Hippy
Hippy
5 years ago
Reply to  Really?

My clients are of a particular socioeconomic group and I will tell you this, it is lucky I speak spanish.

Really?
Really?
5 years ago
Reply to  Hippy

Many “illegal aliens” send their money back to their homeland and build home and business to go back to. Good system they got going, working better than college…

c4
c4
5 years ago
Reply to  Really?

I’m all for capitalism but when you see people getting groceries in their three million dollar Bugatti’s it make you wonder if something is not quite right.

Really?
Really?
5 years ago
Reply to  c4
c4
c4
5 years ago
Reply to  Really?

The eighties Bay Area when punk was real

https://youtu.be/zB5JOWv8xI4

Z Knows
Z Knows
5 years ago

I don’t know what the article is saying, but I am a true disciple of BG so yes… I agree, I hate rich people and their white sports, and Matt Biolos. but what I hate more is myself because I love surfing but its a Polynesian sport that white people discovered so its not white enough.

Jimmy the Saint
Jimmy the Saint
5 years ago

Rhonda Harper is already en route!


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