Apology-lit: World’s greatest surfer Kelly Slater does indeed follow his longtime girlfriend on Instagram but did not like her latest Instagram post nor did she like his!

A critical evolution.

In a continually evolving story, it has been rumored, then confirmed, that the world’s greatest surfer, 11x champion, wave pool inventor Kelly Slater has not liked his longtime girlfriend’s latest Instagram post nor has she liked his.

Two days ago, the bombshell story dropped which revealed that Kelly Slater was not following Kalani Miller on Instagram, nor was she following him. It was quickly disputed by social media experts who declared the two were, indeed, following each other and had been continually.

Be that as it may, today’s news appears to be add a shocking twist in the saga.

We can see that Ms. Miller liked Slater’s penultimate post, dated July 3, featuring him gazing into the distance.

We can see she did not like his latest, featuring him riding a horse whilst holding a surfboard, from six days ago.

Likewise, we can see that Kelly Slater liked Ms. Miller’s post dated Oct. 30.

But did not like the most recent from October 31.

At the current moment, it is uncertain what Slater and Miller not liking each other’s latest posts on Instagram means but BeachGrit will stay ahead of the story and bring news as it develops.

Very important.

Thoughts and prayers.

Business-time: VF Corp., owner of iconic extreme sport shoe Vans, set to acquire “the Chanel of Streetwear” Supreme for $2.1 billion!

Happy days are here again.

And we’re back. Extreme sports a rocket ship to untold fortunes. Surf, skate n snow growth markets with the only the only ceiling being our imaginations. But did you see the wonderful news this morning? VF Corporation, parent company of Vans, has acquired Supreme for $2.1 billion dollars.

Billion with a b.

And we haven’t seen this sort of action since Quiksilver purchased Rossignol skis for $589 million dollars in 2005, which is $785 million in today’s dollars.

According to the Business of Fashion, “Supreme is often dubbed the ‘Chanel’ of streetwear, scaling its cult brand from a single store that popped up in 1994 on New York’s Lafayette Street into a global business that catapulted into the high-fashion scene via blockbuster tie-ups with names like Louis Vuitton.”

You may recall the brands very exclusive drops, including a clay brick that goes for $159 today, a black sweatshirt that goes for $1600 today, a Rolex Submariner that is more or less priceless, etc.

James Jebbia, Supreme’s founder and genius, will stay on with the brand.

Per the press release:

“We are thrilled to welcome Supreme® to the VF family and to build on our decades-long relationship as we create value for all of our stakeholders. VF is the ideal steward to honor the authentic heritage of this cultural lifestyle brand while providing the opportunity to leverage our scale and expertise to enable sustainable long-term growth,” said Steve Rendle, VF’s Chairman, President, and Chief Executive Officer. “The acquisition of the Supreme® brand is further validation of our vision and strategy to further evolve our portfolio of brands to align with the total addressable market opportunities we see driving the apparel and footwear sector. The Supreme® brand will further accelerate VF’s hyper-digital business model transformation and will be a meaningful driver of VF’s commitment to top quartile total shareholder return and long-term value creation.”

And do you have any Supreme in your closet? A fan or indifferent?

Happy days are here again.

He hung onto that selfie stick during all those hold-downs for a reason: he loved to document his life and broadcast it to the world. He loved to share so many aspects of his surfing life, so why not this final chapter?

Lenny-lit: “Imagine if Kai Lenny not only died while holding his GoPro but it kept filming while his body rotted in the open ocean!”

A fabulous and biting what-if… 

On day fourteen of Kai Lenny’s inadvertent live-streaming of his own decomposition the debate continues to rage across the world concerning the ethics of Instagram’s continued broadcast of, and thus capitalisation on, the unsightly but also in many ways very natural gradual consumption of Lenny’s body by various North Atlantic marine life.


Although a search for his body immediately after that fateful incident at Nazaré proved fruitless various oceanographers and tech experts alike claim Lenny’s body should be discoverable through the study of North Atlantic currents and Lenny’s GoPro GPS capability.

But is that what the formally highly accomplished Hawaiian waterman and formally Disney prince-featured but now dead Kai would have wanted?

Kai lived in the water throughout his life, and it seems somehow fitting that his body should be commended, however unintended and untimely the circumstances might be, to the same waters and waves he rode and 360’d the faces of with less apparent difficultly than you or I might take a piss on a moving train.

Likewise, the live broadcast of his body’s gradual surrendering of its wholeness to the ocean and its inhabitants.

Sure, Kai never could have guessed that the onset of rigor-mortis would freeze his hand and wrist into the perfect angle whereby we as a species,  as a people; surfers and norms alike, could log-in and share the experience of watching an octopus suck out his left eye (day five) and a hake nibble off the tip of his nose (day seven).

While he might not have aired any support of the idea when he was alive would Kai have been completely adverse to it?

He hung onto that selfie stick during all those hold-downs for a reason: he loved to document his life and broadcast it to the world. He loved to share so many aspects of his surfing life, so why not this final chapter?

What could be more of an intimate moment than watching Kai’s skin change from the mocha-coloured glow of the chiselled twenty-something athlete to the pallid grey of a bloated and rotting cadaver?

Why not air his literal giving back to the ocean?

Forget for a moment the segments of wetsuit no doubt destined to choke some unwitting marine mammal to death, but instead focus on the little bits of skin and flesh detaching and floating off to become individual particles in the constant exchange of nutrients and minerals that is the earth’s natural equilibrium?

Sheer poetry.

Meanwhile the feed continues to act as something of a digital vigil for surfers, celebrities, and brands to leave their own emoji-laden tributes to the deceased surf hero as well as links to their homepages and relevant socials.

Lenny’s sponsor Red Bull continue to host the stream on their website, alongside limited-edition caps, shirts and sweaters available only as long as Lenny’s head remains connected to his spinal cord.

BeachGrit will continue to monitor the situation as it develops.

New Jersey surfer Fabrizio Stabile, dead at twenty-nine.

BeachGrit investigation: “Fabrizio Stabile’s death won’t be the last at a wavepool… Skiing is a mess of negligence. Wavepools will follow!”

You're putting people right into a confined lineup with a shallow concrete bottom. There's no barriers to entry. Plus, you're adding booze into the equation.

(Editor’s note: Was New Jersey surfer Fabrizio Stabile’s death at the celebrated Waco wavepool in 2018 caused by negligence and the matter covered up, as alleged by his family in their ongoing wrongful death lawsuit? Today, in part four, click to read parts onetwo, and three, a former employee describes a new two-million dollar filtration system and an owner oblivious to any previous danger.)

After shutting down in October 2018, BSR reopened its doors on March 22nd, 2019, claiming improved water quality and a new wave.

The pool is no longer dyed cotton candy blue and now boasts a “state-of-the-art” filtration system built and implemented by Water Tech Solutions and approved by the Texas Department of State Health Services and the Waco-McLennan County Public Health District.

According to the Waco Tribune-Herald, the filtration system cost $2 million.

The pool reportedly has additional measures to ensure filtration. An added lagoon helps with filtration, and Royal Wiseman, a general manager, has called the water “drinking-water quality.”

The pool still receives its water from the “craters:” thirty-foot-high mounds of dirt that store the water and act as cooling towers.

According to a former BSR employee, as of the 2019 season, those craters were not tested or treated.

“When BSR had their own independent study, last year [in 2019], after we had filtration . . . they decided that after that we would no longer treat or test the water in the craters. No one was supposed to go to the craters after that. The way the craters were set up . . . made it just like a petri dish for microbial life. Nobody treats it or tests it anymore. We don’t go up there. We open the valves, but we don’t go up there. Or that was the rule [in 2019].”

The purported sale of BSR is still pending. The court heard oral arguments concerning that order on November 4, 2020.

There is little end in sight for the litigation. The court order stopping the sale is still on appeal and it’s unclear when the Texas Tenth Court of Appeals will make a ruling.

Once there is a decision, the case will be remanded to the McClennan County District Court for a final judgment, though the American legal system isn’t particularly well known for its efficiency, and the COVID-19 pandemic has only slowed the courts.

Settlement doesn’t seem likely either.

The parties rejected a mediation order in March 2020, and the litigation has become increasingly hostile.

The pool is currently open for business. There have not been any additional reports of Naegleria fowleria.

It’s quite easy to villainize in these types of stories, but it’s important to note that the park’s owner Stuart Parsons Jr seemed oblivious to the danger.

Before Stabile’s death, his children used to go play at the surf pool.

A former BSR employee said about Parsons: “He had never considered  possibilities of that water being dangerous to the point that his kids were in the water as much as anyone else. You’d get there in the morning after the beach was raked at night and there’d be three or four little sets of footprints where him and his kids had been playing on the beach.”

Fabrizio’s won’t be the last death at a surf pool.

You’re putting people right into a confined lineup with a shallow concrete bottom. There’s no barriers to entry. I have no business surfing some of the new slabs, but because I can competently trim I can “paddle out” there.

And then I hesitate on that slab and go over the falls head first into the concrete bottom.

Plus, you’re adding booze into the equation. When I’m too drunk to surf I won’t make the paddle out at my local, but I could definitely wade out into a pool.

Skiing is a mess of negligence. My guess is the wave pools will follow.

Pools will become more ubiquitous and barriers to entry will lower and corners will be cut. There’s just too much money to be made in commodifying surfing.

Republican (right) pictured with Katharine.
Republican (right) pictured with Katharine.

Mature female Great White Shark resurfaces after nearly two year absence, makes beeline for Virginia, worrying researchers: “She prefers blue meat over red…”

Be alert.

You could have easily missed the news, yesterday, that Joseph R. Biden Jr. has been projected the winner of the 2020 United States of America Presidential election, as the story about Kelly Slater not following his longtime girlfriend on Instagram dominated most headlines, but it is true and now over.

Not officially, of course. Donald J. Trump Sr. has not conceded and has vowed to fight to the bitter end but he doesn’t have a chance and Democrats threw open their doors, nationwide, and partied on the streets, worrying Great White Shark researchers.

For yesterday, maybe not coincidentally, the Great White Shark Katharine resurfaced after a nearly two year absence.

Named after Katharine Lee Bates, the 19th century songwriter who penned America the Beautiful, the mature female measuring 14+ feet pinged off the coast of Virginia and was making a beeline for the state’s coast.

First tagged off Cape Cod in 2013, Katharine had become a very popular shark, amassing a 63,000 strong following on Twitter. Researchers followed her various paths and marveled that she had never eaten a person with some hypothesizing that she did not enjoy the taste of red, or Republican, meat.

“Have you ever seen Ian Cairns?” one, who wished to remain anonymous, asked. “Would you eat him?”

In yesterday’s tweet she declared, “Miss me?” So everyone knows YES I was wearing a mask when I came up.”

The mask-wearing confirmed that she is, indeed, attempting to appeal to the left, continuing to worry researchers as Virginia went to Biden by a wide margin.

The soft, supple, easily digestible flesh of blue, or Democrat, meat would certainly prove intoxicating to a mature female like Katharine.

East coasters, please stay alert and stay safe.