Wanna be the king of the world? | Photo: JJ

Extraordinary: Family of surf journalist to sell Sydney’s last great swathe of undeveloped coastal land: “I imagine the buyer being some cashed-up dot com person or Hugh Jackman or Nicole Kidman wanting solitude among the trees”

The greatest piece of surf real estate in the world?

Johnny Jenkins, a former editor of Surfing Life and semi-pro surfer sponsored by various brands, lived the sorta childhood that, even in the third or fourth retelling, I still find hard to believe.

His daddy John, an international flight attendant for Qantas back when the job had money and prestige, made the very sensible decision in 1976 to begin accumulating parcels of land which would become three-acres of cliff-top dirt on the ridge behind Whale Beach, also home to the then counter-culture surfing magazine Tracks.

On it, a small wooden house, which would grow, organically, with mismatched doors and windows, and a shed, which little Johnny commandeered, that had a mattress on the floor, an old wardrobe and a cable running electricity from the main house, and with gun-barrel views straight into the Whale Beach Wedge.

Daddy John, with birds, in old tree house at Whale Beach.

With daddy away, sometimes for two weeks on an international haul and with the Wedge beckoning, Johnny, now forty-six, achieved the Barrenjoey High record of most late attendances in one year, a never-to-be-broken fifty seven late notes.

He was also privy to the belle epoch of the nineties when the Wedge was populated by Barton Lynch, Tom Carroll, Martin Potter, Stuart Bedford-Brown, Kelly Slater, Lisa Andersen, Michael Rommelse, Ces Wilson and co.

Now, with daddy almost eighty and unable to keep the land free of brush and whatever to stop fires, and the spectre of COVID putting the wind up the fam, they figure, time to sell.

(Last year, they carved two pieces off the original 11,000 m2 for three mill, leaving 8000 m2.)

Price?

Seven-ish mill for 8000 m2 or roughly two acres. Convert to US dollars and y’gonna own the best joint in Sydney, a city relatively free of lethal bugs, for a little under five mill.

“Two mins from the balcony to putting your legrope on at the sand at South Whaley,” says Johnny.

The real estate sell is a little underwhelming, but if you know the joint, and know the wave, ooowee, it don’t get any better.

Apply here.

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Vans reminds Americans that the election is days away and to vote; iconic team rider Joel Tudor issues own ultimatum, “Neither party will ever get my support until one of them does the right thing and sets the plant free!”

Unbowed.

And for certain you are aware that a very electric election is but days away in these United States of America. Odd seeing as the two main candidates are doddering septuagenarians but here we are and exciting. Trump Trains driving Biden Busses off the road. Historic turnout.

Do you have an opinion? A favorite candidate? Many celebrities and brands are posturing as apolitical, not wanting to exacerbate fans/customers, simply encouraging people to vote.

Vans, for example, posted a message on its Instagram account reading:

The US election is just days away. @SteveCaballero, @PerrisBenegas, @PatrickGud, @R.Barbee, @BigAirMare, @DylanGraves, @GeoffRowley, & @LeilaHurst are here to remind you to get out and vote! Head to vans.com/vote for resources.

Notably missing from the list is iconic team writer Joel Tudor.

The professional longboarder and BJJ enthusiast, elsewhere on Instagram, wrote, “Neither party will ever get my support until one of them does the right thing and sets the plant free.”

Actress Lysa Cooper begged him to change his mind, “Joel!!!! YOU have to vote for it. Also… VOTE for my VAGINA. It needs to be protected. As well as the reproductive rights of your 2 SONS!! You got 3 days to step up!!! Please. I beg you as your best friend!!!!”

Tudor, unbowed, responded, “You are ruining my coffee and bong hit – love you!! Go green babe …it’s a better look than red and blue awoooooooooooo”

Many questions but mostly which plant is being locked up and is Joel Tudor referring to the Green Party?

I have been a member of the Green Party for 26 years as I thought registering for a color was funny.

Very mature.

More as the story develops.

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UFC’s number 12 ranked featherweight Dan Ige declares surfing “Probably scarier than any fighting, any training experience that I’ve ever witnessed.”

We are tough.

Aside from The Melee at Nazare, Hawaiian outer reefs, Mavericks, Great White Sharks, crowded Superbank, Tiger Sharks, Puerto Escondido, etc. surfing is not seen as a particularly frightening pastime and especially not when compared with the mixed martial arts what with blood on the mat, broken teeth, knock outs, tap outs, etc.

Thus, it comes as a rather large surprise to learn that the UFC’s number 12 ranked featherweight declared on the Fightful program that surfing is, in fact, scarier.

The scariest would be outside of MMA or training. It was a surfing accident. I was surfing in my home town of Haleiwa, Hawaii. We were surfing and it was pretty big. When it’s big, the current gets insane and super strong out there.

I remember a big set came in. I was taking off on this wave and I went over the falls and I just got held under for a super long time. My head hit the reef. I was all discumbobled [sic]. I didn’t know where I was. I was trying to come back up. They have this section called the toilet bowl because the water kind of vortexes and pulls you down.

There’s the reef and the current is really strong. I just remember almost not making it up. Barely making it up. Another wave came and held me down again. It was scary. Super scary. Probably scarier than any fighting, any training experience that I’ve ever witnessed.

Does that make you proud to be a surfer? Tough? Wanna go pick fights?

Very cool.

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Bugs, beautiful since forever. | Photo: EOS

World champion surfer Wayne “Rabbit” Bartholomew in knife-edge race for seat of Burleigh Heads in Queensland election as voters desert incumbent member: “I fully acknowledge my ability to fly through cliffs and shoulder the mountains themselves.”

"I am the legacy of ancient warriors and kings."

You can’t put a thing past ol’ Bugs, the 1978 world champ and ten-year prez of the ASP, back when it pivoted to the Dream Tour, a format still largely in play today. 

Bugs, who is sixty-six and with a shock of dyed maroon hair, is attempting to try and win back the seat of Burleigh Heads for the Australian Labor Party, a seat held by the conservatives since 2012, Labor figuring Bugs could use his surf celebrity to achieve the necessary four-percent swing. 

A three-to-one outsider, according to betting agencies, and with sixty-two percent of the vote counted, Bugs is six hundred votes off the pace, a considerable, but possibly not enough, three-and-a-half per cent swing to the ALP.

In his autobiography, Bugs wrote: “I am the legacy of ancient warriors and kings. I’ve passed through the dark caverns of fear, I’ve overcome the pain barrier and now fully acknowledge my ability to fly through cliffs and shoulder the mountains themselves.”

When asked about his bid for parliament, he said, “I’ve always seen impossible as just another challenge!” 

Click here for live updates. 

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All hell breaks loose at biggest Nazare ever as surfers fight in lineup, jetski drivers attempt to run each other over, witnesses openly weep on the rocks!

Pandemonium!

Wavelength magazine reported, yesterday, that a fight broke out in what is being called the biggest Nazare ever. The lineup was packed with a who’s who of big wave folk including Kai Lenny, Andrew Cotton, Nic Von Rupp, Carlos Burle and Sebastian Steudtner.

Very exciting action etc. but things got too exciting when a ski maybe piloted by Ramon Navarro went straight for the aforementioned Von Rupp for allegedly “dropping in.”

Then Carlos Burle got in a punch out with Christian Fletcher’s favorite German for, allegedly the same infraction.

Then “…the driver of one ski pulled up alongside another team’s ski to talk to the driver about etiquette, the surfer on the sled behind stood up and jumped on top the other driver.” The surfers were, were rumored to be Justine Dupont and Maya Gabeira which was later denied by Dupont who said, “My team were not involved in any of the fights and trouble during the swell.”

All while 60+ foot waves detonated.

Whoa!

Witnesses on the rocks were said to be openly weeping, turning tear stained cheeks toward the heavens and pleading for the bad water behavior to stop.

But have you ever heard of such a thing?

I must say, I have not.

More as the story develops.

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