Horrifying new image confirms that the world’s most accomplished professional surfer Kelly Slater likely drawing from dark source in exchange for perpetual youth!

Smoke/Fire.

Where there is smoke, there is fire, or so the saying goes and I’ve smoked enough, over the course of my life, to know this to be true. Kelly Slater’s magnificent performance at the Billabong Pipe Masters in Memory of Andy Irons presented by Hydro Flask was… magnificent.

Phenomenal.

Otherworldly.

Kelly Slater finishing third over a whole pile of the best Pipe surfers alive, all basically teenagers. An otherworldly performance only thwarted by professional surfing’s arcane rules.

But which otherworld?

And have you read Faust? The Devil and Daniel Webster? Mephisto? The collected works of Anton Szandor LaVey?

I have and know, re. ageless” Kelly Slater, there is enough smoke around mortals making deals with Satan himself to make hellfire.

The just wrapped Billabong Pipe Masters in Memory of Andy Irons presented by Hydro Flask.

A 48-year-old schooling his children.

It don’t happen naturally and examine closely the snap of Slater schooling his child John John Florence.

Yeah.

I thought/think it was/is Anton Szandor LaVey too.

The Devil and Kelly Slater.

More as the story develops.

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