Seal-fattened shark bites Oregon surfer’s leg in rare attack: “The incident serves as a valuable reminder to never recreate alone, in or out of the water.”


As you well know, I grew up surfing central-southern Oregon’s icy cold water. The Pacific there teems with life from crab to seal to the mighty Great White Shark herself. Shark sightings were common in and around my hometown and I swear I saw a massive silhouette, once, when I as out for a paddle near the long rock jetty jutting out from Bastendorff Beach.

Scary, though I always thought about my own spindly arms and legs then looked at the many seals swimming by, luscious and fat, and thought the shark would know better.

Well, apparently the beasts have developed a taste for spindle for last evening a surfer was tasted in Seaside, there in the very north.

The man, who was riding a fine Super Brand board, sustained non-life threatening injuries to his leg and was helped by fellow surfers and an off-duty lifeguard who fashioned a field tourniquet to stop the bleeding. The man was then transported to a local hospital for further evaluation.

The fire department said, “The incident serves as a valuable reminder to never recreate alone, in or out of the water. The fast response of fellow surfers was instrumental in providing aid to the victim.”

Very confusing advice in our Covid days when, I thought, we were supposed to recreate alone. Kafkaesque, I suppose.

In any case, I wonder if this expanded palate, amongst sharks, will hold or if human leg will simply be a trend. Like cronuts.

Did you ever have a cronut? I did and an original one too from the bakery that invented in New York City.

I was underwhelmed.

Updated: Super Brand has offered to give the Oregon hero a free board. If one of you know him, please pass along this turn of good luck.

A still from Great White, a horror thriller released 2021.

Survival of Surfer attacked by Great White shark off Kangaroo Island “remarkable” says first-responder; injuries “catastrophic”; surfer describes feeling as like “being hit by a truck!”

"It's amazing what people can do."

The twenty-nine-year-old man hit by a Great White off Kangaroo Island yesterday yesterday has written an account of the attack from his hospital bed.

In a handwritten statement dictated to his partner the still-unnamed man wrote,

It was a normal day’s surfing at D’Estrees Bay. 

I was sitting on my board when I felt a hit on my left side – it was like being hit by a truck.

It bit me around my back, buttock and elbow & took a chunk out of my board. I got a glimpse of the shark as it leg to & disappeared. I still had hold of my board and paddled into the beach.

I walked up to the car park and yelled out to another surfer who was about to go in. He drove me to Kingscote & we were met halfway by the ambulance.

I want to thank all those involved in getting me to hospital the awesome emergency services & medical staff & my family & friends for all their love & support.

I’m feeling incredibly lucky & grateful & I’m optimistic I’ll make a full recovery.

King Island paramedic Michael Rushby, who treated the man and who described the injuries as “catastrophic”, said the surfer was lucky to be alive.

‘With the extent of his injuries, this was quite remarkable and very lucky that he was able to do that. It’s amazing what people can do,” Rushby told the Murdoch press, adding these sorts of events are “once-in-a-career jobs… it hasn’t fully sunk in what we experienced yesterday.”

Give the gift of radical Islamic terrorism this beautiful Covid-19 holiday season: “On the way home from Somalia, just post 9/11, I rode an airplane with four 7-foot-tall Taliban!”

Merry everything!

California will be shut down, entirely, by midnight tonight. No more pumping iron in the gym. No more getting super fit in the gym. But do you remember a simpler time, when the only terror that haunted our dreams was radical Islamic terrorism? A utopian bliss, in comparison and, as it happens, I wrote a book about that joy which you should gift friends and family.

Of course, when a book is being written much ends up on the floor. Like this passage right here.

On the way home from Somalia, a handful of years ago, I rode a weird transport airplane with four with 7-foot-tall Taliban. I can’t imagine they were up to any good in Somalia and their faces were etched into furious scowls beneath their black turbans, in the middle of their wildly bushy beards. I decided to sit next to them so at least I’d be the first to know when the hijacking was occurring. I mumbled something in the little Pashtu I knew and the 7-footer sitting next to me broke into a smile. We chatted in Arabic for the duration of the flight to Dubai. He leaned in heavily on me, insisting God was one and that I must recognize. I told him I agreed, and that Jesus was God was the Holy Spirit. Three in one. Weird but true. Absolute blasphemy to any Muslim and his frown returned. We went back and forth, he tried to trick me into saying the Hadith and converting to Islam, I told him I couldn’t. I was a believer too. At the end he capitulated and patted me on the shoulder with a giant, muscled paw and said, “You and I, we are people of the book.”

But you are a person of the book too, even if that book is the World Surf League Rule Book.

Pipeline is tomorrow-adjacent. Join the Surfvival League here before it’s too late. You can win $1000 and a Panda surfboard.

Happy Hanukkah (in four days)!

Two days left of trading: Join BeachGrit’s winner-take-all Surfival League; $1000 and custom Panda surfboard prize!

Only surf Fantasy League with prize!

Fantasy Surfing is in a very poor state of disrepair. 

First, last year’s winner of WSL’s Fantasy Surfer was awarded no prize for beating 140,000 other players to become the champion. Not a Zoom call with Elo. Not an invite to Surf Ranch. No congratulatory Instagram post.


Read, WSL’s Fantasy Surfer Champ Revealed as Berlin-based Data-Journalist Who Says, “It’s a Dead Platform, Really!” 

Then, Fantasy Surfer tweeted “following the demise of Surfer, Fantasy Surfer has been left high and dry and the site is no longer functioning properly”.

A couple days after, good samaritans fixed the site but said they “are not sure if corporate will supply prizes.”


But we got the fix.

The perfect anti-depressive game for these “uncertain times”.

The Surfival League.

Real easy.

No teams.
No tiers.
No budgets.

Just pick one surfer.
They must advance past Round of 32.
If they don’t, you are out for the season.
If they do, you move on to the next event. You can’t pick the same surfer twice.

Last man standing wins the prize.


A prize! We’re not leaving you high and dry like the WSL and Surfer Mag (RIP).

The winner will receive a thousand bucks and a custom-shaped surfboard from Panda Surfboards.

All you have to do is Surfive.

Sign-ups close Monday, December 7 11:59 PM PST.

You in?

California governor Gavin Newsom signs sweeping stay-at-home order thereby guaranteeing record crowds in lineups: “Surfing is a healthy outdoor activity that should be pursued by young and old!”

"If you don't surf, don't start."

Bah humbug. California’s governor Gavin Newsom just signed a sweeping state-at-home order, going in effect at midnight tonight, locking over 85% of the state’s population down until Christmas. No more nail salons or haircutting. Movie theaters re-shuttered and bars put under lock and key. Playgrounds, museums, zoos all boarded up. No word, as of yet, on the fate of French Laundry.

“We are at a tipping point in our fight against the virus and we need to take decisive action now to prevent California’s hospital system from being overwhelmed in the coming weeks. We can flatten the curve as we’ve done before and reduce stress on our health care system.” The governor said in a statement.

What is being left off the naughty list, this stay-at-home around, is surfing. Moreover, it is being actively encouraged.

Dr. Erica Pan, the state’s acting public health officer, said, “Staying home for three weeks is a sacrifice, but if every Californian did that for a month, we could stop this disease in its tracks. This public health order strikes the balance between saving lives, providing essential services that we all rely on and still allowing Californians to participate in lower-risk outdoor activities that are crucial for our physical and mental health.”

Lower-risk outdoor activities and I think we, as a community, have put up with enough, no? I’ve never seen more crowded lineups in all my days. It has, frankly, reached the absurd and so I would like to encourage Gov. Newsom and Dr. Pan to add one caveat into the order.

Michael Tomson’s brilliant edict “If you don’t surf, don’t start.”

Those who have picked up the Pastime of Kings during the Covid-era should be ordered, by caveat, to stay out of the lineup and/or go surf in Santa Barbara.

A fine compromise.