Stab magazines goes to subscription model, kicks BeachGrit in lower spine before closing door: “For those left it will be a race to the bottom, and speaking from experience, when you’re chasing clicks, you get lost in the outrageous and contagious.”

Chas Smith

By

"Think graphic shark attacks and Ellie-Jean Coffey nudes."

Stab magazine announced today that Covid-19 has forced the hand and it will be going behind a paywall. Per the lengthy missive from Sam McIntosh:

Stab going to a subscription is something we’ve talked about for some time, but when Covid rolled into town, 10 years happened in 10 months and our hand was forced. Google and Facebook take 60 to 70 percent of all digital marketing spend and we expect that percentage to grow. The sun has passed midday for ad-supported media. For those left it will be a race to the bottom, and speaking from experience, when you’re chasing clicks, you get lost in the outrageous and contagious. Think graphic shark attacks and Ellie-Jean Coffey nudes.

Outrageous and contagious.

The new anti-depressive.

But back to the news at hand. How does it make you feel? What does it make you think? A bold move or ill-advised? Apparently there will be some news etc. accessible for free but all films, longer journalism pieces, will be OnlyFans. Will you crack your wallet for the best of Ashton Goggans or take your business to Unboxing with Koa Smith?

I’ve so enjoyed trying to re-create the yellow journalism wars between Joseph Pulitzer and William Randolph Hearst, with Stab as foil, over these past years. I think the Stab crew did not have the same historical perspective and, therefore, did not have fun but glory days nonetheless.

Well, the end of an era I suppose.

Back to searching for outrage and contagion.

Got anything for me?

Listen: Hollywood movie star and jiujitsu black belt Scott Caan on being summoned by Eddie Rothman, how Chas should’ve slain Ashton Goggans after the “slap that stopped the world” and the rise of VALs, “I remember when surf was punk. You didn’t see Range Rovers in the parking lot and rich people with foamies!”

Derek Rielly

By

Surfing, fighting, lounge kissing!

Mr Scott Caan is a star of screen and television who played the adorable Danno in the television series Hawaii Five-O, was a Mormon in the Oceans 11 series and is the son of Hollywood tough guy James Caan.

Scott, who is forty-four, is a black-belt in the not-so-gentle art of Brazilian jiujitsu and a lifelong surfer who once optioned the movie rights to Charlie Smith’s book, Welcome to Paradise Now Go To Hell.

In this interview, Scott advises Charlie on the correct course of action when faced with an enraged rival, describes the time he visited Uncle Eddie Rothman on the North Shore to soothe local tempers after he had said unkind things about Hawaiian food in an interview and waxes on a life given to surfing and grappling.

At one point, we discuss Daddy Caan’s best films.

I choose Rollerball; Scott is fond of The Thief; Charlie, The Godfather.

Fisheries catch "mammoth" Great White, second-biggest in the state's history, off popular Cottesole beach. 9News

“Mammoth” Great White that forced multiple closures of popular Australian beach is caught and tagged; recorded as “second-biggest on record” as surfers warned of “Abnormally high number of sharks!”

Derek Rielly

By

"Not an isolated incident."

A “mammoth” Great White shark that forced a Western Australian beach to be closed twice after being spotted just offshore, and which was subsequently caught and tagged, has been recorded as the second-biggest in the state’s history, falling four inches (10cm) short of  the record. 

Peter Godfrey from the Department of Fisheries told 9News, “It’s very rare to have such a big White shark so close to the metropolitan area.” 

Fisheries laced four drumlines with pink snapper to catch and tag the White. After a wrestle with the lines and a deckhand using his hands to untangle the beast, it was eventually released. 

The beach was opened, then closed after the White came back. 

For generations, pretty Cottesloe Beach, seven miles (11 km) from the centre of Perth, was known for its dreamy grass terraces and even dreamier afternoons in its hotels’ beer gardens, a tangled sea of brown bodies and loose lips. 

Then, in 2000, one year after Great Whites became protected by law, a swimmer, Ken Crew, was attacked and killed by a fifteen-foot Great White in waist-deep water and in front of other swimmers, early morning joggers and cafe diners. He bled out in the arms of a Catholic priest on the beach. 

And here we are.

Surf Life Saving WA said thirty-one sharks had been spotted in the last week, closing eleven beaches and warned of an “abnormally high number of sharks.”

The “mammoth” Great White swimming so close to a popular beach, it said, was “not an isolated incident.”

Breaking: World Surf League to “come off suspension” imminently and the Pipe Masters will resume as soon as today!

Chas Smith

By

Happy days are here again!

An anonymous message was just forwarded to BeachGrit’s Pipe Masters Covid-19 desk, an internal World Surf League memo, and let’s get straight to it without pomp nor circumstance.

Good morning everyone! I have an important update for us:

We gave been making good progress with the State of Hawaii, DOH and the other departments.

Please advised that we could come off suspension at some point today, and then go ON HOLD for a call today.

Depending on when we can go on hold will determine how fast we can run.

Just want everybody to be be prepared. We’ll update you as soon as possible.

The typos have been dutifully preserved which suggest very much excitement.

Remember, yesterday, when I said the contest would be up and running today?

Very prescient.

More as the story develops.

Logan (pictured) standing alone like he will be for a few weeks.
Logan (pictured) standing alone like he will be for a few weeks.

Aggrieved professional surf fans demand to know if the suspended Pipe Masters will be included in the Apple TV+ six-part doco series examining the “aspirations, failures and accomplishments” of the world title chase!

Chas Smith

By

Mostly the failures.

In what seems like an eternity ago, but was really just two weeks, the World Surf League trumpeted an extremely exciting six-part documentary series to be aired on Apple TV+. The presser promised, “…a behind-the-scenes look at the ‘aspirations, failures and accomplishments’ of the world’s best surfers as they strive for the World Surf League Title.” And “…a ‘rich exploration’ of the people who make up the 2021 World Surf League Men and Women’s Championship Tour, bringing viewers along on a journey to some of the most incredible surf spots in the world. The first episode will take place in Hawaii, with the Championship Tour kicking off on December 4.”

With World Surf League CEO Erik Logan contracting Covid-19, along with five of his helpers, and forcing a “suspension” of “production” aggrieved professional surf fans demand to know if there will be a “rich exploration” of his “failures.”

The League has been extremely tight-lipped since its inception in 2015, mirroring billionaire owner, and co-Waterperson of the Year, Dirk Ziff’s penchant for privacy. The Santa Monica headquarters coming to symbolize secrecy on a scale not seen since The International Order of Saint Hubertus.

And yet, as the calls for Logan’s resignation grow louder, a small but growing cadre of enthusiasts wonder if “bringing viewers along on a journey” of botched protocols, wasted surf, enraged surfers, internal despair and Joe Turpel silently weeping while eating take-away escargot from Lei Lei’s in his room might provide enough entertainment for the chief executive to hold on to his job.

It would be must-see-TV+, certainly, and the most compellingly watchable story.

Popcorn-worthy.

Will Logan provide the necessary access or is the production crew loathe to get within even twelve feet of the potential super spreader?

Much to ponder.

More as the story develops.

Photo: Jack English
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