Witness: Great White Sharks stalk SUP pilots sporting “extra-juicy dad bods” off the coast of sunny Santa Barbara!

Shark incident.

There has been so much turmoil, such mess, around the winter of our World Surf League’s discontent that typical billboard material has been left on floor. I was, for instance reminded, in Cedar Hobb’s glorious timeline, of CEO Erik Logan calling a fatal Tiger hit at Honolua Bay a “shark incident.”

“Shark incident.”

Mick Fanning gets back on the ski and resets.

Shark incident.

In any case, two SUP pilots sporting extra-juicy dad bods were stalked off Santa Barbara’s sunny coast over the weekend. The moment was captured by outdoor photographer Adam Ernster who wrote on Instagram, “Respectfully enjoying nature is one of my favorite things about living in Santa Barbara. Whether you’re a fisherman, surfer, or avid hiker, SB brings together a passionate community of like minded nature lovers. Although great white sharks deserve tremendous respect and space, it’s always inspiring watching the locals safely interact with these apex predators. Sharks worldwide are going to need our help to survive into the 21st century and beyond. Connecting and coexisting with beautiful predators is the name of the game if we want to progress peacefully into the future.”

If one of the like-minded nature loving SUPpers would have slipped and fallen into the drink, do you think the Great White would have enjoyed his snack?

I think probably no. I think, of all the sorts of bods out there, dad bods are the least tasty.

Much beer basting.

Shark incident.

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zumajim
zumajim
5 years ago

“Connecting and coexisting with beautiful predators is the name of the game” — Uh, maybe leave out the connecting part is a smarter approach. We can coexist with wild animals just fine if we don’t insist on “connecting” with them.

Mads Naeraa
Mads Naeraa
5 years ago

..

James
James
5 years ago

Why do people write stupid articles?

timsluis
timsluis
5 years ago

I have a dad bod. It tastes of a low back ache and a slow takeoff.
Sad times.

Follow the Sun 🌞
Follow the Sun 🌞
5 years ago

I don’t always SUP, but when I do, I make sure there are people photographing me with sharks around.

channelbottom
channelbottom
5 years ago

I have a juicy dad-bod.
Why don’t we all get together for a photo shoot to create a semi-nude calendar for charity, in aid of getting poor, poor Mick Fanning back the money he lost on his real estate deal.

I haven’t been able to sleep, thinking about it.

Eddie Haiku
Eddie Haiku
5 years ago

It’s with excitement
I propose a merger of
BeachSharkFatLodgeGrit

Phat-wan kerr
Phat-wan kerr
5 years ago

if Santa Barbara is a passionate community of like minded nature lovers how would you best describe the beach grit community?

Beef & Beer
Beef & Beer
5 years ago

In other surf related news

…Gravy and a mate paddled out in freezing Atlantic City ankle slappers to film Trump’s building getting dropped by implosion…

It was better than his usual offerings

Huli Opu
Huli Opu
5 years ago

“Shark Incident”. Don’t remind me of the total fucktardery and shameless spin of Elo and the WSL.
This month, on February 2, Woz trotted out their paid shill, Robin Erb, to rebut to Lane Davey’s Jan.12, Star Advertiser article “Is it time to stop spread of corporate surf competitions?“.
In Erb’s bent missive she spews ridiculous analogies ostensibly meant to justify, prop up and obscure WSL’s Hawaii failures.
In addressing Davey’s specific assertion that WSL somehow contributed to Robin Warren’s death from a tiger shark attack, Erb mischaracterizes the reality by calling them “baseless rumors and false innuendo” and not meriting discussion.
The harsh and tragic reality is the WSL restricted access at Honolua Bay the day Mr Warren was killed because he was forced to paddle out before the contest from inshore (where he was attacked) instead of the usual access from the cliff/caves area. The usual access point was closed to residents and the public by the WSL.
Immediately after the attack, WSL shrinked and cowered away from the tragedy, quickly folded their tent and scurried like ka ka roaches back to O’ahu to finish the women’s comp at Ehukai.

FUCK THE WSL

https://www.staradvertiser….

Wiggolly's Paddling Style
Wiggolly's Paddling Style
5 years ago
Reply to  Huli Opu

I like the hatred but I reckon it’s drawing a long bow to say WSL caused a shark attack because of where they positioned the comp. Cough cough. Now where is my fucken $20, Elo you dweeby cunt.

Huli Opu
Huli Opu
5 years ago

I get it Wiggs. Fair enough observation from afar. But the rub is less a stretch than it seems. We’re keenly hyper-aware of tigers especially on the south and west side of Maui. It’s a huge daily concern for all local watermen and women. When you frequent the ocean on that side with year round regularity you develop strategies on a daily basis to keep the odds of an encounter down. The inshore areas between slaughterhouse and Honolua bay are rife with tiger sharks who frequent the freshwater seeps and the bay’s runoffs after rains. Exactly the situation when and where Robin got hit.

If I can draw my own analogy, in India there’s a village where land tigers opportunistically prey on humans. The villagers develop strategies to circumvent the nearby areas where they know tigers frequent. They can’t totally prevent attacks but they can greatly mitigate the possibilities by the paths they take to their eventual destination. If they took a direct path, their odds of an attack are greatly magnified.
My point is that to access the lineup at Honolua you enter and return inside the point shallows and never have to traverse a long stretch of deep water during a whole session. In this case, Robin was forced to paddle through deep sketchy territory just as if he was ringing the dinner bell for the tiger that chomped him.
Could an attack have happened that day anyway if a contest was not on? Sure, but you can bet Rob, or anyone else, wouldn’t have been forced to paddle solo across a stretch of deep sharky water to reach the lineup if Woz had not closed off the usual lineup access along the point. A closure that was of questionable legality. That is definite causation. I can’t draw an exact straight line from WSL to shark attack but I can tell you it wouldn’t have happened if Robin had his usual access from the point, be it for a selfish fucking billionaire’s for-profit contest at a public Hawaiian surf spot.

I’ve surfed, dived, fished and sailed west Maui, north Lanai and east Molokai for over 5 decades since small-kid time and I’ve never seen so many tigers out there especially now during humpback whale season and the humps resurgence. Rob was a core and chill dude surfing the bay since the 70’s. WSL never made any donation to Rob’s wife gofundme or sent any type of condolence.

RIP bruddah Robin Warren

https://uploads.disquscdn.c…

https://uploads.disquscdn.c…

Wiggolly's Paddling Style
Wiggolly's Paddling Style
5 years ago
Reply to  Huli Opu

Sorry to hear you lost a mate either way. Honestly, I can’t stand surfing comps. When local board riders set up on a decent bank or try pull you out of the water for one of their bullshit comps it shits me up the wall. Couldn’t give a fuck about the state of pro surfing in Victoria. They all get rinsed on the Q’ey anyway. Bunch of shit carters

Wayne West
Wayne West
5 years ago
Reply to  Huli Opu

So true, and on point. I know when surfing the Eastside of Oahu, Many spots are a trade off of risk and reward and only surfed when it’s perfect otherwise it’s too risky. There’s no doubt that would not of happen if the contest was not there. I know from paddling from one break to another once and felt very lucky that I made it. Having surfed H-Bay a few times, that would be a hell of a paddle to the top of the point. Truely f@cking sucks, hope he surfing with the bradda in heaven. 🙏

Follow the Sun 🌞
Follow the Sun 🌞
5 years ago
Reply to  Wayne West

As I’m not a native of HI, I am fond of Oahu as I’ve not had the chance to visit the other islands due to COVID restrictions. Are you saying that there is a higher shark population on the East side of Oahu or are there other dangers on top of the shark populous?

Abscessed Llama
Abscessed Llama
5 years ago
Reply to  Wayne West

Paddle across to the reef pass south of “Couching Lions” during my short stent living on east side. Couple waves into the session got so spooked paddled in across the reef to the lagoon.

Huli Opu
Huli Opu
5 years ago

Hey Llama Crouching Lions can be a really good wave. The whole windward side can really fire and takes multiple directions except straight west. Gotta be kona/ west wind or calm. We very rarely get a straight east swell that’s not a windswell but when it happens it’s awesome

Abscessed Llama
Abscessed Llama
5 years ago
Reply to  Huli Opu

Still have a scar on my back from Couching. Wes Sharp giving me the “Go Bra!”…(Crouching!) Probably have more misspelled words than I have up votes. Short stint Kailua and Kaneohe before ending up in Kahuku and finally Backyards.

Jordy's pout
Jordy's pout
5 years ago

We need to convene an urgent meeting to discuss how we can help make his snow website successful. Otherwise he’ll keep taking out his frustrations on us via these sharky anecdotes.

Barrelled
Barrelled
5 years ago
Reply to  Jordy's pout

How about an exclusive interview between Chas and Jamie Lynn?

Chas Smith
Chas Smith
5 years ago
Reply to  Barrelled

Good idea!

Barrelled
Barrelled
5 years ago
Reply to  Chas Smith

Too bad he’s chill so no Ashton style exchange.

Chas Smith
Chas Smith
5 years ago
Reply to  Jordy's pout

I’m open to all suggestions!

Billy Hunt
Billy Hunt
5 years ago
Reply to  Jordy's pout

I don’t his heart didn’t really seem in this one

Derek Hynd's Missing Fins
Derek Hynd's Missing Fins
5 years ago

What type of body would he have labelled Dane, had it been he on the SUP? Which begs a follow up–is Dane even willing to kook to that level?

Dick Simmons
Dick Simmons
5 years ago

Dick has a program to help with this Dad Bod thing. Been turning whales back into women for years now.


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