Haircut Inspiration profiles all 15 surfer hairstyles, reveals secret to acquiring: “If you’re looking to rock a surfer hairstyle, the first step is letting your hair grow long!”

Very cool.

In a move that both surprised and delighted, Haircut Inspiration profiled the “surfer hairstyle” this month, lovingly detailing each of the fifteen varietals.

The very popular style website placed the look in its “tousled hairstyles” which are “purposefully messy, disheveled, and untidy, but still look the part” and gave an etymological nod, revealing it “takes its name from the stereotype of a hardcore surfer whose hair has been bleached by the sun, soaked in salty sea waters, and received minimal care” before divulging a long-held secret to acquiring.

“How to get surfer hair? This goes without saying, but if you’re looking to rock a surfer hairstyle, the first step is letting your hair grow long. Be sure to resist the temptations to just ‘trim a little off’ when your hair gets to an impractical length, as otherwise, you’ll never quite manage to grow it long enough!”

Then it was off to the fifteen individual representations, in no particular order.

-Wavy texture with high volume

-Messy bun and highlights

-Messy curls lying around

-The surfer messy hairstyle

-Touseled hairstyle

-Undercut surfer hairstyle

-Curly medium style

-Wet iconic surfer style

-Medium straight hair

-Shorter curly style

-Messy surfer hairstyle

-Where are the waves?

-Just outta waves

Fourteen and fifteen appear to be missing but could be greatest surfer in the world Kelly Slater bald and cool mom fab.

Which one do you have?

Good choice.

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"A creative, brain-storming mastermind."

Exclusive: Philippines-based “Global Head of Talent” accidentally reveals two-time world champion John John Florence’s surprise pivot away from professional surfing and the shucking of his famous double-barrelled name!

"A creative, brain-storming mastermind."

The Cebu-based Chief Operating Officer with recruitment software biz Hire With Leo has accidentally revealed the career pivot of two-time world champ John John Florence in a recent post on LinkedIn. 

K Childs, a certified hypnotherapy practitioner and co-founder of various start-ups, made the post five days ago.

It features John Florence (not John John, tellingly) searching for work as a software designer. His salary expectations are modest, $39,000, considerably less than the thirty-mill deal he commanded with skincare and inflatables brand Hurley, an indication perhaps of tough times in the Florence camp.

An examination of the post also reveals Stephanie Gilmore, a seven-time world champion and Gabriel Medina, world champ twice, also vying for work on the platform, although both appear under pseudonyms, Anastasia Demetriou and Lucas Grey respectively.

Medina also reveals he won’t work for anything under forty-five k.

No work yet on whether Florence, Medina and Gilmore will appear on the remainder of this year’s truncated world tour if applications are accepted.

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World Surf League Chief Strategy and Brand Officer lambasts political right in scorched earth screed: “The number of conservative, whining, f*cking fascists in the surfing world, some of which hold esteemed positions in companies and on Olympic teams, is pathetic!”

"I mean, come on. That is straight out of the fascism playbook."

The World Surf League is not generally known for stoking fires, but that all changed over the weekend when Chief Strategy and Brand Officer Dave Prodan took a torch to the political right.

Prodan, who has been with the League since 1976 and also hosts the very successful podcast The Lineup, introduced his 61st guest, Jordy Smith, with the following monologue (listen here).

Thank you to everyone who sent us notes on last week’s podcast with Nick Carroll, many of you saying it’s the best one we’ve ever done and, of course, as those who listen to it know, Nick was fantastic in it. The comment that the WSL social team pulled to promote the episode on Instagram was Nick asking if online trolls in the surfing world were the counter-culture rebels they so desired to be or just their parents. A reference to the vitriol someone like 2x World Champ Tyler Wright suffers for choosing to speak her mind. And that post, and you can still check this yourself, drew the now standard complaints from this very same community.

(Breathless voice) “All lives matter.”

“Keep politics out of surfing.”

“How great would it be to watch a surf contest? Shrug emoji.”

All of which, un-ironically, proved Nick’s point for him. The number of conservative, whining, fucking fascists in the surfing world, some of which hold esteemed positions in companies and on Olympic teams, is pathetic.

You don’t have to agree with what surfers are saying on the platforms they more than earned, however, to cry foul on them to be able to use their well-earned platforms at all? I mean, come on. That is straight out of the fascism playbook. And this cancer, in my humble opinion and the humble opinion of this podcast, has been rearing its head in The Lineup circle ever since George Floyd’s murder last may and our decision to acknowledge it.

Last week, here in the United States, eight people, six of which were Asian American women, were gunned down in a hate crime by a white supremacist male in Atlanta. There’s absolutely no justification for it. And it doesn’t have a chance of correcting if you continue to avert your eyes or or choose median opinions that are more comfortable to you.

Me bringing it up here is not politics, it’s reality. And the surfers whom you bitch about raising attention to racial and gender violence and on platforms that they have earned is not politics either. And if it makes you uncomfortable, good. That’s a human response. It makes me uncomfortable too.

And again, you don’t have to agree with everything they’re saying but they have earned the right to say it. And I hope they keep saying it.

Whoa.

Extremely thinly veiled jabs at certain well-known conservatives in esteemed positions at companies and Brett Simpson.

The League, which has pivoted hard woke in recent months, is clearly tired of certain elements in its fanbase which raises the question.

Is Prodan correct in his broadside or is he, himself, using “fascism’s playbook” to silence oppositional thinking?

It seems he is brandishing an awfully big brush with which to paint, no?

Or actually no?

More as the story develops.

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San Clemente star, one-time prodigy, Kolohe Andino withdraws from Australian leg of WSL tour: “It’s hard to deal with but I appreciate everyone’s support!”

The second big name to fall.

San Clemente’s Kolohe Andino (26) has officially withdrawn from the Australian leg of the World Surf League Championship Tour citing a high ankle sprain. In a message to fans, he wrote:

Sorry to have to message this today, but I’m officially withdrawing from the four-event Australian leg of the WSL Championship Tour.

While training in Hawaii during the February Valentine’s Day swell, I suffered a high ankle sprain that I had hoped would heal in time for the next CT event. I came to Oz to Quarantine and see if it would be better in time for Newcastle or even Narrabeen.

Unfortunately, in the first few days of testing after Quarantine, I re-injured it, and, after consulting with my doctors in the US, I’ve made the decision to withdraw and get ready for the post-Australia events.

It’s a hard one to deal with, but I appreciate everyone’s support and I’ll look to get back in the water as soon as possible. Good luck to everyone competing in Australia. I’ll be watching.

Andino recently sharply criticized the new format of the World Tour, which will likely see the 5th place surfer crowned champion at 2 -3 foot Lower Trestles at the end of the year.

He joins Kelly Slater, who also pulled out due 4-year-old foot injury, and will be replaced by Matt Banting.

No word, as of yet, if Andino and Slater are planning a rebel tour.

More as the story develops.

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Ninety-nine shekels, framed.

World Surf League releases poster celebrating two-time world champ Tyler Wright’s brave stand against “institutional racism”, “white supremacy” and homicidal Australian cops!

Star of "historically white supremacist sport" captured for posterity and yours for ninety-nine dollars!

Six months ago, at an exhibition event funded by a white American billionaire, the two-time world champion Tyler Wright dropped a knee for four hundred and thirty-nine seconds in solitary with Black Lives Matter, the number representing “one second for every First Nations person in Australia who has lost their life in police custody since 1991.”

Tyler correctly raised the issue of black deaths in custody, something that’s been in the public consciousness in Australia since a royal commission was called in 1987 after a horror run of indigenous Australians dying while in police custody.

The result wasn’t quite so clear cut.

The four-year long Royal Commission into Aboriginal Deaths in Custody “did not find higher rates of death of Aboriginal people compared to non-Aboriginal people.”

And, now, “Overall, the rate of Indigenous deaths in custody has reduced since 1991, as of June 2020 lower than the rate of death of non-Indigenous people.”

Of 2608 total deaths in police custody between 1979 and 2018, roughly five hundred of ‘em were indigenous.

To celebrate the moment, factually correct or no, the World Surf League, a sort of media house for the Vulnerable Adult Learner surfer, has released an eighteen by twenty-four inch poster, which you can buy for twenty-nine dollars unframed or ninety-nine framed, hanging hardware included.

The poster is modelled by a thin blonde woman, a nod, I suppose, to the League’s legendary diversity.

Buy here. 

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