Ninety-nine shekels, framed.

World Surf League releases poster celebrating two-time world champ Tyler Wright’s brave stand against “institutional racism”, “white supremacy” and homicidal Australian cops!

Star of "historically white supremacist sport" captured for posterity and yours for ninety-nine dollars!

Six months ago, at an exhibition event funded by a white American billionaire, the two-time world champion Tyler Wright dropped a knee for four hundred and thirty-nine seconds in solitary with Black Lives Matter, the number representing “one second for every First Nations person in Australia who has lost their life in police custody since 1991.”

Tyler correctly raised the issue of black deaths in custody, something that’s been in the public consciousness in Australia since a royal commission was called in 1987 after a horror run of indigenous Australians dying while in police custody.

The result wasn’t quite so clear cut.

The four-year long Royal Commission into Aboriginal Deaths in Custody “did not find higher rates of death of Aboriginal people compared to non-Aboriginal people.”

And, now, “Overall, the rate of Indigenous deaths in custody has reduced since 1991, as of June 2020 lower than the rate of death of non-Indigenous people.”

Of 2608 total deaths in police custody between 1979 and 2018, roughly five hundred of ‘em were indigenous.

To celebrate the moment, factually correct or no, the World Surf League, a sort of media house for the Vulnerable Adult Learner surfer, has released an eighteen by twenty-four inch poster, which you can buy for twenty-nine dollars unframed or ninety-nine framed, hanging hardware included.

The poster is modelled by a thin blonde woman, a nod, I suppose, to the League’s legendary diversity.

Buy here. 

Premium surf magazine severely bullies plucky bodyboard website but remains entirely mum when challenged by world’s biggest surf blog; Police likely being called!

When will this cultural sickness end?

Earlier today, it was revealed that premium surf magazine Stab had unleashed an expletive-laced invective on small but wonderful bodyboard website Infoamed after it dared challenge a supposition that those standing on surfboards had the right to drop in on those laying down.

A classic bullying move much discussed, and frowned upon, in our modern times but also historically.

Nobody likes a bully.

The world’s largest surf blog, BeachGrit, deeply feeling the injustice, interjected, daring Stab to fight as near its weight class as possible.

Difficult to be in weight class as Stab appears to enjoy many California burritos.

Much plate lunch.

Stab’s response?


Utter quiet across multiple platforms.

The classic bullying move, to attempt harm on the littles then cowering when called out.

But when will this cultural sickness end?

Tomorrow, BeachGrit begins training in the anti-bullying art of Brazilian Jiu Jitsu.

Police on standby.

More as the story develops.

Premium surf magazine unleashes rage-filled, expletive-laced tirade on plucky bodyboard website: “We couldn’t give a flying f*ck about what you ride!”

Tantrum time.

Earlier this morning, premium surf magazine Stab became extremely agitated and let fly a barrage of venomous insults toward a plucky bodyboard website.

The troubles began when Infoamed published an article challenging a recent Stab caption in which dropping in on bodyboarders was encouraged. Per the piece:

In lineups of consequence, you will generally find a complete mutual respect between surfers and bodyboarders, and a vast majority of the professional surfing community (those that are any good), respect the bodyboarding community. Why? Because surfing actually owes a lot to the bodyboarding community.

Let’s not forget the amount of big wave discoveries that were championed by bodyboarders, or pushing the limits of what is considered rideable or paddleable. Not to mention aerial surfing actually owes a lot to the progressive bodyboarding days of the 1990s and early 2000s. 

I believe peaceful action is required by both the bodyboarding and surfing community to stamp out these forms of discrimination. If you see it, please call it out for what it is.

It was then posted for its 1,800 Instagram followers to enjoy.

Stab, incensed, quickly responded, animosity boiling over, “We couldn’t give a flying fuck about what you ride. Sure, some waves are more boog friendly than others but you’re still the only folk to paddle The Right. Respect. We started in the same fucking office as the Movement legends. This is a non-story, boys.” Then added, “Honolua Bay is one of the world’s easiest roll-ins. No place for the software.”

At this time, it is still unclear why the one-time Venice-adjacent publication became so enraged so quickly, or why it was loitering on a small bodyboard account, and it would be unethical to speculate.

Police are on standby, waiting for the call from Stab that it has been assaulted.

More as the story develops.

Opportunity: Bid for a piece of surf history guaranteed to soon join Dr. Seuss, Lana Del Rey, on cancelled list!

Three words: Pacific Systems Homes.

The other day, I just so happened to be walking past the living room bookshelf when a title caught my eye. Six by Seuss. I hadn’t noticed it before, slid it from its place, wondering what the “six” were. The 500 Hats of Bartholomew Cubbins, Horton Hatches the Egg, The Lorax, How the Grinch Stole Christmas and And to Think That I Saw it on Mulberry Street.

A chill ran up my spine.

Hadn’t Mulberry Street just been cancelled? It certainly had and for racist depictions, I believe.

I raced to the window, making sure no progressives were in the bushes, observing me with their all-seeing third eyes, then went to the computer to see how much Mulberry Street is currently fetching on the open market.


A hushed whistle escaped my lips.

Not that I would ever profit off anything tawdry but you can for in a very short few weeks, for then the California Gold Surf Auction and let us read the press release together.

An exciting array of unique, rare surfboards and memorabilia are on the auction block. The California Gold Surf Auction theme is “Guns, Wood and More…”. Prime elephant guns by Dick Brewer, Mike Diffenderfer, and Greg Noll lead the way. Jaw-dropping wood, including boards by Richard Gomez, Barry Kanaiaupuni, and Pacific Systems Homes, highlight the wood category. The auction offers something for every serious board collector including a Greenough Edge Board, Paipos and a selection of small Waikiki Rotary Club boards. All bidding takes place online. On April 16th at 5pm PST the California Gold Surf Auction lots begin closing and lots close every two minutes.

Exciting is right but do you know what those Pacific Systems Homes surfboards were called?


Bid low, re-sell high.

You’re welcome.

Still ok to catch Tigers, howevs, like this big un, caught off Tweed Heads, NSW. | Photo: Facebook/Geoff Brooks

Australian deckhand fined $12,500 for taking selfies with two dead Great White sharks in act judge brands as “barbaric” and “vulgar”!

No animals deliberately killed, important to note.

If further proof was necessary of the sanctity of the Great White Shark, and I doubt it is, well here y’go.

A Western Australian judge has booted an Albany deckhand from his job for one year and fined him twelve-and-a-half-gees for posing with two Great Whites after dragging ’em, dead, out of his nets.

Tyrone Leigh Harding, who is thirty four, pleaded guilty to one count of taking a protected fish in April 2019 after he and his skipper James Stewart Tindall pulled in the two Great Whites after they became tangled in their gill net in April, 2019.

Both animals were dead before they were pulled on deck.

No animals deliberately killed, important to note, I think.

And, my reading of the law is you gotta throw ’em back in the drink, even if dead.

Harding and Tindall took a few selfies and videos and hacked out the jaws, something that’d prove to be their undoing.

Fisheries officers were put on the case after someone reported finding severed sharks in a nearby river one month later.

Cops got onto Harding, searched his joint, found the jaws, the photos and the videos.

Harding’s defence lawyer said Harding and Tindall were three-and-a-half clicks off the coast when the Great Whites got caught in the nets.

Cutting the net away from the Whites, he said, would’ve risked the crew’s safety and the net would’ve drifted into the ocean, environmental nightmare etc, so the pair dragged ‘em in, cut ‘em up, souvenired the fangs.

Magistrate Dianne Scaddan described the pair posing with the Great Whites as “barbaric” and “vulgar”, two hitherto unknown offences.

The skipper returns to court April 1.