Tantrum time.
Earlier this morning, premium surf magazine Stab became extremely agitated and let fly a barrage of venomous insults toward a plucky bodyboard website.
The troubles began when Infoamed published an article challenging a recent Stab caption in which dropping in on bodyboarders was encouraged. Per the piece:
In lineups of consequence, you will generally find a complete mutual respect between surfers and bodyboarders, and a vast majority of the professional surfing community (those that are any good), respect the bodyboarding community. Why? Because surfing actually owes a lot to the bodyboarding community.
Let’s not forget the amount of big wave discoveries that were championed by bodyboarders, or pushing the limits of what is considered rideable or paddleable. Not to mention aerial surfing actually owes a lot to the progressive bodyboarding days of the 1990s and early 2000s.
I believe peaceful action is required by both the bodyboarding and surfing community to stamp out these forms of discrimination. If you see it, please call it out for what it is.
It was then posted for its 1,800 Instagram followers to enjoy.
Stab, incensed, quickly responded, animosity boiling over, “We couldn’t give a flying fuck about what you ride. Sure, some waves are more boog friendly than others but you’re still the only folk to paddle The Right. Respect. We started in the same fucking office as the Movement legends. This is a non-story, boys.” Then added, “Honolua Bay is one of the world’s easiest roll-ins. No place for the software.”
At this time, it is still unclear why the one-time Venice-adjacent publication became so enraged so quickly, or why it was loitering on a small bodyboard account, and it would be unethical to speculate.
Police are on standby, waiting for the call from Stab that it has been assaulted.
More as the story develops.
stab being…stab! shitty
I wouldn’t know, I try not to watch boggies, I mean bogies.
You’re already here.
Well maybe, it’s like ‘impossible’ to fall riding a boogie board, you already take off ‘lying’ down, in a ‘fallen’ position, ‘laying’ down on your board’, all you have to do is just ‘hold on’ and you can’t fall off.
so by your reasoning, paddling into a chopes monster would be easy if I didn’t try to stand up at the take off? perhaps I am a bit pessimistic because I don’t reckon it would work out particularly well. would you be so kind as to demonstrate it. kind regards, Phat.
Stand up vertically in the living room on a surfboard and have someone try and push you off, they can do it with one hand–then lay down on the floor on top of a boogie board and grab it with both hands and have someone try to push you off– it’s next to impossible.
I tried it. snapped out 2 fins and instead of pushing me, the misses hit me with a frying pan resulting in a split head. so just like my last trip to chopes only a lot cheaper
Ya, I forgot the “take out the fins first” part, sorry bout that.
Stab…slowly going the way of the Inertia.
Yeah it’s a roll in but fat boy goggens must not understand what a massive boog ramp looks like…
Super classy of those boogieboarders to coopt social justice concepts to complain about not getting waves.
“We need to abolish the racist white supremacist institutions that exist in surfing so I, a 27 year old white dude making 150k a year working for Netflix, can get sets at Pleasure Point.”
Won’t be long until dudes in Sprinter vans start talking about the discrimination they face in the lineup because they’re homeless.
Has anyone taken a peak behind the paywall over there? Surely the comment section is a fountain of earnest discourse now that the riff raff have been banished to Grit Island?
Nah I haven’t but I am sure its a bunch of reach-around jerk-offery. I used to go over there when it was free and call goggans a fat cunt and stuff. There’s no way I am going to pay though.
Even though they say commenting is behind the paywall you can still read and comment via Disqus not the website. It’s pretty quiet.
Anyone you know??
good to know, I was considering paying up so I could find out who the most beloved male surfer of our time was.
They are refugees not the bansihed. And they are reluctant to assimilate.
I had a peek via a friends account, pretty quiet on the comments, BG is where it’s at for sure. To be fair, the Taj SITD and the recent Andy Irons thing are well worth a few dollarbucks.
Picking fights with bodyboarders? Hot damn, it’s 1993 all over again!
stab premium gets you unlimited time travel
Ashton is the definition of an insecure try-hard desperate to let the world know how tough and cool he is.
Recommended replacement title for this piece:
“Inspired by K. Slater’s recent tendency to attack obscure Instagram accounts, Cashless Goggans proceeds to rub his sweaty, ring emblazoned hands together while thinking of a comment aimed at people of his own ilk – those that are unable to stand properly on a surfboard.”
fuck. I thought I was living in the past.
Yes, and I’m a grumpy old local there.
You are a good Mod
Thanks for deleting that hate speech from Brutus.
Nega let him say anything and it was prettyfuked up.
Havent deleted or engaged any threads in 1 week….was someone else.
Was me bexy xx
👍
I love to booger thick slabs
Ha!
Stab’s post-covid pivot away from the core, combined with it’s cheeky-ness and contempt towards grassroots shredders has exceeded its payment gateways ability to secure a future past that of the wsl’s. Elephants dance with Elephants.
Time for a haiku
The Stab catacomb
Steam corrodes ironically
Grit fluffs the cricket
We already have a Haiku-ist.
Got a sonnet?
How about a jaunty sea shanty instead?
(hit it boys)
There once was a ship that put to sea
The name of the ship was the Ashton of Tea
The winds blew up, her bow dipped down
Oh blow, my bully boys, blow
Soon may the Wellerman come
To bring us sugar and tea and rum
One day the tonguing will be done
Dam that’s good – an ode to “ye ol magless fog of silver coin”
I think that dude on tiktok hit No.1 in the charts in the UK with that.
Strange times.
You think the potential market is elephant-sized?
Elephant numbers have dropped by 50% over the last 3 generations. Archy represented the Carrying Capacity.
Ha!
The gift that keeps giving! Stab’s downward protracted spiral
Ashton’s so gangster…
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Some of your finest work yet.
Chas–since you’re here in the dungeon right now, maybe a piece on this? https://www.npr.org/2021/03…
Pulling my surf journalism hat from the drawer right now.
yellow beanie?
So the Dems want to use taxpayer money (theyd say its a loan but who dey kidding?) coming from high value coastal properties to purchase said high value coastal properties, then turn around and charge an exorbitant rental price because they theorize this high value property tax well will not dry up, but flood? Christ, what a fucking joke. Dems have a spending problem, exacerbated by a complete lack of awareness that it’s not their money they’re spending. Dumbest fucking idea I’d usually say I’ve heard in a long time, but this Dem Administration has been cramming stupid into the idea generating machine at an infuriating pace these last two months.
Hey Otto! I’ve missed learning from you and your enlightened worldview! Thanks for this entirely predictable diatribe! Till next time, DHMF
Wait till he learns about Eminent Domain.
And what would be the public purpose to justify the taking here? Maybe you should know what eminent domain requires.
The public purpose would be to save the rest of the houses and community from flooding. They could call Eminent Domain and build a sea wall for example.
But the Dem politician wasn’t talking about saving houses. That isn’t a govt. responsibility that would survive scrutiny. The Dem was talking purely about money generated from property taxes no longer there to feed their appetite for spending.
You clearly didn’t read the article, that was one persons idea, there were other ideas mentioned. Nor was my comment about what that guy was trying to do. You’re trying so hard to make this a political debate.
Just read the article and stop making everything “its the dems fault.”
Not only that, my eminent domain comment was a jab at he crazy shit the government can do. But youre so fired up to argue about everything you can’t even see that.
Eminem Domain!
https://www.youtube.com/wat…
Blah, blah, blah. You Otto-get a new schtick. This one has run its course.
When DHMF opens that politics at BeachGrit door, I will walk through every time. Blame rests squarely on his shoulders.
PS: it IS a dumb fucking Dem idea. Won’t be their last.
Otto–suggestions to get ideas to Chas for him to write about? He admits he doesn’t check his BG email. Notice I directed the comment directly to him. But you come in all Eminent Domain Otto, and then always blaming others for your actions.
I didn’t say eminent domain. This is being dressed up differently. That’s why the article questioned whether property owners would be willing. I know you directed it at Chas, and yet I still responded. What does the article have to do with surfing? Even adjacently?
Your last two lines–so you want Chas and DR to cut literally 90% of what they put on this site? 95% even? But I’ll trace the connections for you:
1) DR does articles on beach front properties and values for sale, all the time.
2) LT often talks about changes to coast due to climate change and sea level rise.
3) It doesn’t take much mental effort to connect that they’re discussing doing this to adapt to sea level rise, to thinking “oh shit, that means all our surf spots and access to them will also be changing in the years to come.”
4) This will also impact surf retail spaces located on the beach.
5) Chas lives basically on the beach in SoCal.
I would hope you can easily see how #s 3, 4, and 5 directly relate, and when combined with points #1 and 2, mean this is entirely appropriate for BG.
Lastly, Chas knows if he did an article on it, you’d comment at least 50 times and thus would drive up BG profits.
BG profits?! HA! Good one!
Your explanation is really straining. If you need 5 kinda reasons to get to 1 sorta reason, you’ve already lost.
Everyone else on the planet: “The sun rises in the east. Like, literally, you see it everyday.”
Otto: “No it doesn’t! It rises in the West! You’re just too dumb (and liberal) to get it.”
You should replace “Otto” with “Trump lover”
Your argument that this is not “surf adjacent” hold absolutely no water. This is on the sand and over the ocean so its definitely “surf adjacent”. Chas and Derek write about shit that is much further away from adjacent than this its painful. I agree with you that this is a stupid fucking idea. You bought the house with the inherent risk that it is on the ocean. The ocean is biting back, you lose. Its not taxpayers responsibility to bail you out. Much like the student loan bullshit. You took the loan, you owe the fucking money, period.
I didn’t say it was a good idea but you didn’t seem to have a problem with your orange grand poobah dropping trillions with no way to pay for it.
Now you’re getting into the pokitical swing of things. What specific spending by President Trump are you referring to? Is it as impressive as Biden’s relief $1.9T state bailout bill that will cost taxpayers 11K to get $1,400? Or the upcoming $4T infrastructure, green deal gone wild? Hasn’t been By 100 days in, Biden will have spent $6T, none of which is recoverable.
https://www.bbc.com/news/wo…
Google CARES act while you’re at it too.
hmmm…$2.3T pandemic relief bill in time of crisis versus $1.9T state bail out after vaccine has been rolled out + $4T upcoming spending bill for infrastructure and green energy expensive as all shit wish list fantasy within the first 100 days.
Vaccine is still being rolled out, maybe your old ass can finally get one. 🙂
Why would I. I’ve had Covid. My immune system is ready for Covid now. Is yours not ready? Feeling immune-ishly fearful?
How did you manage to get something thats fake?
Whoever said it was fake?
Your entire political party.
When you get back from Making-Shit-Up-Land let me know.
I mean Trump called it a hoax himself.
Still not back yet I see.
Still living in denial, poor guy.
“Now the Democrats are politicizing the coronavirus,” he said. “You know that, right? Coronavirus. They’re politicizing it….And this is their new hoax.”
Still not doing your fact-checking are you.
Try less selective quote editing.
“Now the Democrats are politicizing the coronavirus,” he said. “You know that, right? Coronavirus. They’re politicizing it.” He meandered briefly to the subject of the messy Democratic primary in Iowa, then the Russia investigation before returning to the pandemic. “They tried the impeachment hoax. … And this is their new hoax.”
Christ, even the lefties at AP know he didn’t say that.
https://apnews.com/article/…
Those are his exact words, you can see it for yourself…I am aware he back peddled. Doesn’t mean he didn’t say it. https://www.youtube.com/wat…
He didn’t call the Pandemic a hoax as you suggest.
“The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command.”
Well, he is wiping your boys diarrhea off the floor so plenty of this spending falls back to that dumbass. Your boy spent $2.3 trillion and it still wasn’t enough. That doesn’t make it the next admins fault.
9% of the Biden bill goes directly to citizens adversely financially affected by the pandemic. State bail outs were not necessary and only rewarded state fiscal irresponsibility that spanned decades.
Why was Trumps CARES act okay but Biden’s COVID relief not okay? They both did the exact same thing.
Trumps COVID = 2.2T
Biden’s COVID = 1.9T
I don’t care about your answer just want to point out your hypocrisy.
It’s not the amount. It’s what the spending is earmarked for. It didn’t address the problems like the bipartisan bill under Trump. Think about that. Bipartisan bill versus bill that was passed purely along party lines.
Biparisian because Dems pretend to care about Americans regardless of who is in power, where as Republicans only pretend to care when they have power.
Your realize the CARES act helped major banks and corporations right?
Here is a breakdown of the spending.
https://usafacts.org/articl…
Dems don’t pretend about Americans regardless of who is in power. What a crock. They care about power, and power alone. It’s why Nancy held up the latest relief effort prior to the election.
You do understand that in order for business loans to be put into the hands of businesses, it has to go through a bank right? Tell me you’re not that uninformed. Unemployment too has to be run through a bank account.
I do acknowledge that there were issues with checks and balances for the money being used for the intended purpose of helping businesses and individuals, the fact the economy went full lockdown required a quick, not completely tooled together response. We don’t need to be in lockdown anymore. Businesses need to be fully open, which destroys the need for so much wasteful spending in the Biden bill.
>You do understand that in order for business loans to be put into the hands of businesses, it has to go through a bank right?
Otto, if youre going to try and belittle me, make it something you know about. I am not talking about loans and PPE. I am talking about QE, PDCF, MMLF, i’m sure you know what those mean? Or are you that uninformed?
>We don’t need to be in lockdown anymore.
Ya I know because Biden got us so many vaccines, about 100million more than Trump in half the time.
Those were actions taken by the Federal Reserve prior to passage of the CARES Act, not actions originating from the Act.
Here’s a neat little Timeline for your amusement:
https://www.americanactionf…
Those are in conjunction with the CARES act.
https://www.gao.gov/product…
QE, PDCF and MMLF are not funded by CARES Act
https://www.americanactionf…
I should have listed more acronyms for you.
My point is, why are you okay with Trump’s COIVD which clearly gave money to large corporations but you are against Biden’s.?
When the CARES Act was passed, yes corporations received money because we still needed an economy to come back to. That doesn’t require 20/20 hindsight, that much was clear when the determination was made for forgivable loans that required the money be spent on salary and business expenses. There is still money available today from the CARES Act. As such, that Act did a good job getting us to this point, and with the vaccine we are better positioned to have a strong rebound. What pisses me off about the Biden act is the pork spending, state bail outs and money to private pension. Never before has the Federal Government given taxpayer dollars to failing pension programs, to the tune of $86B. Union run pension plans that were multi-employer structured have been barely running afloat for years. Their dismal position had nothing to do with the pandemic yet they received a sizeable chunk of cash. That’s a bunch of bullshit. The state bail outs were also calculated using unemployment numbers that sent the lions share to CA and New York. CA has a budget surplus yet they will be receiving over $42B. While some bail out money might have been reasonable, the future costs of this sort of spending will be painful. We are already seeing early signs of inflationary reactions to the spending bill just passed. What happens when they push through the next $4T spending bill that they are all giddy about? This Bill needed to be scaled way, way, WAY BACK. That’s the difference between the Trump and Biden.
So money to buy stocks/bonds is good , but adding money to pensions is bad? I see where your priorities are.
It was the Central Bank buying bonds issued by large corporations. An infusion of cash, a loan that only differed as to restrictions. The lack of restrictions cam e directly from the Federal Reserve, not the CARES Act therefore not something signed by Trump, and is still a loan. It just doesn’t have the same restrictions as the PPP, but it did its job maintaining stability in the market in order to avoid a crash.
A bail out of union run multi-employer pension funds is just pushing away doomsday for a moment. The way those outfits have run it, they will soon run out of the bail out money too, and will likely try once again to get money more taxpayer funded bail outs since it worked this time.
Otto, the Main Street Lending program, that was included in your little graphic there was part of the CARES act and all that did was put more money into the stock market for corporations that did not need a bailout. It even gave money to nonprofits that had endowments up to 3Billion.
So again I will ask why is Biden’s plan is so much worse than Trump when they are doing the exact same thing. Take your bipartisan lens off for a second.
who owns the banks?
The Dems seem to want DT back in 4 years.
Theyre doin everything they can to get him back.
https://youtu.be/SKG5F1VkZGY
This Dem govt are some evil mofos, they just don’t care about anyone.
It was sposed to have risen by now.
What a relief
Happy days from now on!!!
Can you shoot me a quick email?
Sent to your BG email.
The one he never checks?
Didn’t realize Kelly was running Stab’s Insta account.
I feel the prejudice with the boogsmen. No pool dedicated to them so far. @Kalani Rob, next project waiting for you to be their ambassador.
Oh goddamnit, “boogsmen” is the best term. I’m considering buying a Toobs and switching teams.
Infoamed loves to stir some shit up. But Honolua is the worlds best boogie ramp. Sure you pokey tips can have fun but Hubb and Romero fucking launch out there. Also feel free to tell Miles Kauhaahaa he cant DK there cuz Stab Said so… hahhaa
The ocean enthusiast world can sure be childish at times. All gumby & pokey.
There is a time and place to drag. Its not always the time or place.