Putting the V in VAL.
The just passed weekend found me, my best friends and our children (aged 4 – 7) smashing pickup trucks over boulders, camping near abandoned mines, skipping along a dried lakebed where the rocks move by magic in California’s Death Valley.
Very off the grid and I was loving every second. The children happy and filthy, danger lurking around every hairpin mule track turn, the nearest cell signal miles upon miles away.
I thought, “If only we could stay out of range forever…” while driving back home, phone registering “no service”… until the town of Ridgeway where its shattered screen fired to life, messages stacked upon stacked, buzzing furiously.
A sense of dread overcame me.
Through squinted eyes, I thought I made out the name “Jonah Hill” involved, or adjacent, to one.
I clicked and read the headline attached, “Jonah Hill slips into his black wetsuit for surf day in Malibu… before showing off his tattoos while going shirtless to towel off,” an informative, albeit slightly wordy, offering showing exactly what was professed.
Scanning further, I discovered that Hill had responded to the story, via Instagram, and slowly read his caption.
I don’t think I ever took my shirt off in a pool until I was in my mid 30s even in front of family and friends. Probably would have happened sooner if my childhood insecurities weren’t exacerbated by years of public mockery about my body by press and interviewers. So the idea that the media tries to play me by stalking me while surfing and printing photos like this and it can’t phase me anymore is dope. I’m 37 and finally love and accept myself. This isn’t a “good for me” post. And it’s definitely not a “feel bad for me post”. It’s for the the kids who don’t take their shirt off at the pool. Have fun. You’re wonderful and awesome and perfect. All my love.
Instantly I knew that surfing’s power of balance had fundamentally shifted.
Hill has been the face of surfing’s recent meteoric spike in popularity but has seemingly been reluctant to be its voice… until this just passed weekend. His message of inclusivity, of positivity, of empowerment sent shockwaves through the media landscape with celebrity after celebrity praising, average Joes and Janes sharing their own stories.
Surfing as vehicle for dialogue.
As vehicle for change.
An entirely beautiful moment that I missed thanks to dumb nature.
A sentiment so pure not even the grumpiest local can begrudge.
The VAL apocalypse transforming into a VAL utopia.
Note: I know that brutalist is a sort of architecture that does not reflect the Daily Mail’s overall aesthetic, which leans toward gothic, but “gothic tabloid” just don’t have the same ring.
Super Bad is a top 10 all-time comedy. It holds up even now. Burn one down and watch it. Tell me you don’t pee your pants laughing….
Dude this is the perfect example of what is wrong with surfing. The fact that it has become some Mainstream and out of touch with real life surfers. I mean, take a look at this shit… We are praising Jonah Hill for body positivity. How the fuck is this related to surfing at all? Good for Jonah but this just feels wrong in so many ways.
At first glance, that d00d looks like Italo. I was thinking, he’s really packed on those covid pounds.
When ever I see a skinny surfer on a wave I just want to drop in and squash them
Wow
They are some lame as fuck tattoos.
And being chubby makes them look even worse.
Kooooook…
You are exactly right. Ridgecrest. Neil always on my mind.
Did you bring a Geiger counter?
I feel I pretty much need his affirmation myself these days. But as a 50 yo, I have the forcefield of being too old for anyone who’d judge me on carrying an extra 10 kilos of experience round my chassis.
guy needs to hit the gym and quit being a sensitive bitch
while going shirtless to towel himself off. is there another way?
Just be glad he wasn’t using the DR method of carpark drying off.
For fuck sake, Chas. No-one gives a shit about Jonah Hill or his fucking insta val-life.
What shoes were you wearing in the desert?
Negs–how comes Chazz doesn’t have an “Oldest Grumpiest Local” next to his monkier, too?
He’d just ban very second person for annoying him if he was a Mod.
Oh–didn’t know that was a title that only mods get. So you’re also saying Chazz gets PMS?
Cos chadz doesn’t actually qualify as either old, grumpy, or local.
More like middle aged, lame, interloper…
Better than just being an old cunt that offers nothing.
You shouldn’t talk about yourself like that though.
Surely there’s some mars bars to deep-fry…
I went simple! Nike Kill Shots, white that became very dusty brown, with red swooshes!
I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t disappointed they weren’t something far less practical.
I preferred the work of his cousin Benny… https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
When will we get to see Jonah Hill surfing his Teen Choice award? https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Memories of PostSurf.
“YOU’RE WONDERFUL AND AWESOME AND PERFECT!”
Maybe not telling chubby kids that, would result in fewer chubby kids.
Dunno.
Who is Jonah Hill? No snideness – I just don’t know.
And Chas, your desert adventure sounds wonderful!
It was something else… and he is a very funny actor!
I used to do some serious rockhounding out there. Many colors! Pack the truck full and then scatter them in the gardens. Great for star gazing too.
Until this writeup I figured he was a lower-tier CT surfer or something! Ever educational, this Beachgrit.
See Brutus, you’re not alone……
Inspiring!*
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
*LATE-WARNING: Terrible image to follow.
My wife told me to stop taking my shirt off in the bedroom about 15 years ago. As you can imagine, I have not shared that development on a social media post. And are we sure that’s not Goggans with dyed hair?
Maybe Shitalo Ferrero Rocher?
Yep. Nothing says, “Adventure and Danger” like a tricked out 4×4, Chas !
We were running basically stock Tacomas down lippincott mine road. Oooeee!
It was waist deep blower pow all weekend here in the Wasatch. COVID = best thing ever, it got me the fuck out of California…
Oh bless you! How much fun did you have?
Vajonah hill
If the paps can make Hugh Jackman look out of shape, maybe Jonah is much more svelte than we all know.
No that was Hugh Jassman
It was Huge Ackman.
Isn’t the real story that we’ve been seeing these photos of Hill for like three years and he still can barely get to his feet on some giant board in baby waves? And…he says he used to skate, too? THAT’S why he might have cause for embarrassment.
Until we ‘get some clips’, then we’ll never know what the true state of his abilities are.
To be honest, I don’t think he gives a shit what we think of him.
You’re probably right. He probably hates having his pic taken every time he goes out. Crap, I have to force my wife to film me from the beach. At least he’s rich!
For all we know he could have an obscure slice of prime reef in the South Pacific absolutely wired.
I said to a local guy taking surf photos of tourists surfing in bali,”why don’t you take film of people?”
He replied:”no one wants to buy footage of themselves surfing,they realise they’re kooks!”