Celebrate!
It was many months ago, or maybe years, that the World Surf League kicked off its 2020/21 championship tour season at the very famous Banzai Pipeline. Fans of professional surfing were thrilled, as were the professional surfers themselves, who flew to Oahu’s North Shore and became tested for the dreaded Covid-19 and neither came to within six feet of each other nor spoke to each other without masks.
But even with the abundances of caution, that dreaded Covid-19 found a chink in the armor and infected World Surf League CEO Erik Logan who, in turn, made an announcement that he had been infected, along with five staffers, and that the Pipeline Masters would be suspended whilst he convalesced.
Days, or maybe weeks, later it resumed and John John Florence won and Tyler Wright won but the next event, at Sunset, was cancelled and all subsequent surf competitions were cancelled forever.
Or, rather, until June 1, 2021 which Governor David Ige has officially selected to banish the Curse of Erik Logan and allow for points to be awarded for hand jams off the top.
State Health Director Libby Char told Honolulu Civil Beat, “The data shows us pretty clearly now that outdoor activities is quite safe. The transmission rates are very, very low, I believe it’s less than 1% if you’re outdoors.”
The Curse of Erik Logan had been a severe burden, not just on aspiring professional surfers, but all Hawaiians as even the U.S. Surgeon General was ticketed for trying to take pictures outside.
“F*ck the WSL” he might have been thinking.
But a very happy ending with the state’s children being able to go out and chase their dreams and know they are chasing their dreams properly because of hooters going off.
Very cool.
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Ultra-Hoot Surf Classical
https://soundcloud.com/dedd…
To: BeachGrit <[email protected]>
From: Ben Marcus
Re: Your Gramma
Greetings
Last week I was in the grocery store rummaging thru the discount bin where they keep the old dinged cans when I was accosted by a large dark woman. At first I thought I recognized her as Harrison Ford’s yoga instructor but apparently not. She leaned in close and grasped my hand saying “aren’t you the great Ben Marcus?” She invited me to the Starbucks next door. As I regaled her with mindless blather about movie trivia I noticed her companion stealing glances at me. I suspected some malice. It was all I could do to not stick my tongue out at him. Anyway, it turns out this couple were famous Bollywood producers! Whooda thunk? We discussed my latest Malibu Barbie screenplay and they agreed to seriously consider financing it.
Anyway, my point is that if you don’t call off your Negatron moderator who seems to get his jollies 86’ing me into “timeouts”, my stature could be greatly diminished amongst the rich and famous and hence funding could be seriously jeopardized. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Ben Marcus or BM (which is also the initials -no coincidence- for Bowel Movement)? Good on Negs for moderating him… nuke that kook.
Pseudo surfer roll call?
Allow surf comps…but still ban the WSL front office from the islands.
My dreams come true when my local Hooters goes off
My family is use to hooters going off now. They don’t really like it but I keep telling them that it’s just an informal COVID smell test.
On a completely different, but also curse related, subject…
Ever since Kelly made fun of Ades and Pupy during the recent ‘Rumble at the Rattsnest’, I seem to have lost my ability to make abusive comments.
I’ve got my fingers crossed that he turns nice again soon in the hope I regain my previous capacity of commenting here in a mean spirited way.
Hopefully I can kick this curse of niceness and get more of a nasty nature back soon.
Thanks heaps and cheers to you all
Keep the dream alive BnB!
Repeat after me: “Kelly is a narcissistic cunt”, and you’ll be better in no time!
Hhmmm
That’s probably more likely to increase my newly found admiration of ‘bad Kelly’ but simultaneously turn me into more of an approachable nice guy, and that’s not a good thing…
Bit late Chas, it’s already on Netflix. Scooby-Doo and the Curse of Elo’s Covid.
“…AND I WOULDA GOTTEN AWAY WITH IT TOO, IF IT HADN’T BEEN FOR YOU PESKY GRITS!””
This gain of function doesn’t appear nearly as dangerous as the gain of function funded by Fauci.
The surgeon general was cited for being in a closed park? How had I not heard of this?
Article said they issued 68,000 citations and 450 for people being in closed parks in Hawaii, madness
Hawaiians didn’t get run over by the White Man™ accidentally.
Noa deans words have aged like a fine wine. One wonders when they will reach their zenith.
Now my children can know when they’ve surfed a wave properly- commence the hooters!
When I saw the title of this article, that “the curse of ELo officially lifted”, i thought he’d FINALLY been fired.
Oh well, not yet. That comps in Hawaii will resume is still good news.
“ The data shows us pretty clearly now that outdoor activities is quite safe. The transmission rates are very, very low, I believe it’s less than 1% if you’re outdoors.”
I mean, what the fuck do you do with these people? Auwe
Don’t worry…they will be hiding out for at least another year so you won’t have to deal with their mental illness.