The human hard-on!
In one of the loveliest rags to riches stories you could ever imagine, Tahitian Raimana Van Bastolaer, former Teahupoo ambassador turned smiling face of the Surf Ranch, has been described as human Viagra by eighties supermodel Cindy Crawford.
Viagra is a medication used to treat erectile dysfunction or to ramp up an already tumescent womb-duster. Side effects include deeply satisfied gal, a terrible chafing on shaft and a reputation as a pussy assassin.
On Instagram, the fifty-five-year-old whose career peaked in 1987 when she appeared alongside the other OG supermods Christy Turlington, Linda Evangalista and Naomi Campbell on British Vogue, writes,
And this is why I call @raimanaworld the Big Blue Pill — he can get anyone up—even me!
A roll call of celebs, including NY designer Donna Karan, supermodels Carolyn Murphy and Christine Brinkley, joined in in the comments, thrilling to the ride and to human hard-on Raimana Van Bastolaer.
Y’ever knocked back a Raimana?
What was your experience?
Are you half a man and therefore used out of necessity or was your intent to fill an already overflowing pool, to stoke an already burning crotch fire?
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“Big blue pill”? The only thing Raimana resembles in the above photo is an overgrown Smurf.
For a second I was wondering who the writer was. But after reading that I didn’t bother checking.
We need 10 Raimana’s at every surf break in the world!!!
Wonder if Cindy pays the rack rate? Raimana gives me hope lol
Haha he really is the next David Attenborough no
Cindy. The natural beauty.
Raimana. The goofy dick pill.
She was def ALL that at one point… kinda looks like Bruce ehh…Caitlyn Jenner in second shot.
Very uncool.
Looks like Raimana has been enjoying that Tachi Palace buffet.
Getting soo stuffed!
Cindy was my boyhood crush. Had many of her posters in my room as a pimpled teen.
He’d need it just to see it.
so i travel a bit and in the airport men’s rooms notice how much piss hits the floor!! i have determined the fat fuckers can’t get their little cocks over the urinal so they dribble their “puds” onto the floor. jesus christ have some pride ya cunts
The gunt does impede on the protrusion….a friend told me
it was about 95F when we stopped as a gas station in Riverside on our way to Lake Arrowhead and my son (5) said, “Dad, it feels like im in a dry taco here.” and the only thing I could only say was, “yeah…
… thats why your dad doesn’t live in Riverside.”
Yeah, Riverside is a real toilet.
Are you not familiar with the glories of San Bernardino? At least Riverside can claim Palm Springs.
I’ve been interested in Riverside for a long, long time, ever since I first heard about Stephens’s kangaroo rat as a child on the other side of the world and grew enamored with their hopping and jumping and seed-chewing ways. Sure hope I can get there and see one one day.
neat little introduction to stephens’s kangaroo rat from riverside county habitat conservation agency here: https://www.youtube.com/wat…
“He doesn’t drink water. He gets all of the water from the seeds he eats.”
Who needs to go on a trip to Africa to see animals when you can go to Riverside? With the African nature shows they have night vision of the local watering hole. They should do that in Riverside at the local Taco Bell, must be like Grand Central Station with all the rats.
There is a particular species that is very common in the IE. I don’t know the Latin name but they can best be described as “ shirtless men 35-50 riding BMX bikes to 7-11(or other convenience stores) to buy smokes or tall cans of Steel Reserve”. I have also witnessed this species in other shitholes like Gresham, Desert Hot Springs and Eureka.
C raw for d. Why? R aim an @ Cin, d y.