Sizzling.
My goodness, this is unbelievably strange. But should we have given The Ultimate Surfer, a reality show that plays on ABC television at 10pm (9pm central) a nice welcome, as we would give to any Jonah Hill?
There are more things in heaven and earth, Grumpy Local, than you’ve even dreamed of. But now listen to me. No matter how strangely I act (since I may find it appropriate to act a little crazy in the near future), you must never, ever let on—with a gesture of your hands or a certain expression on your face—that you know anything about what happened to me here tonight.
You must never say anything like, “Ah, yes, just as we suspected,” or “We could tell you a thing or two about him,” or anything like that.
Swear you won’t.
Please.
For our World Surf League has just turned to online tabloid TMZ in order to give its flagging “The Ultimate Surfer” a breath of life by advertising extremely provocative “hot shots” of the contestants.
They were deemed a “perfect 10” by TMZ but you are as good a judge of professional surfing as any.
You know the art, the nuance.
Perfect 10?
8.8?
Commented on Disqus? Log out, tap the Disqus button, and your old name and comments come back. The box is ours.
Your comments are still here. Every one of them.
Twelve years of BeachGrit comments came across from Disqus. Connect and we will show you how many are yours. We get your username, nothing else.
Connect Disqus to reveal.
Faark chuz…just pen another book already…or not….Don’t buy here.
Every fuckin’ clown who ever thought he was a pro surfer that came from Florida has infected the bowels of surfing with more pungent aromas than all the non surfing fight promoters in the world ever could.
Kelly’s the only guy from that scum sucking state with half an arse worth of stale shit, the rest are just complete fuckin’ mutant kooks…
That dude Frieda Zamba was pretty good at shredding and from Ke11y’s world.
Really? I can only imagine your sarcasm isn’t working that well ?
Much like your more recent blogs ?
Jimmy Slade got Pamela Anderson – just saying …
you do realize this is a purely seppo-clusterfuck (again)? While the WSL says it’s a global sports league its show The Ultimate (sic) Surfer is only watchable on seppo cable pay TV/stream and the global pro surfing community is thankfully spared.
“Clusterfuck” is the wrong word.
Most activities attempted by surfers is a “Thrusterfuck.”
Get it right.
Geez.
the crossover we deserve.
It’s great
You can say anything.
No cancel
You can’t tell me a face like that hasn’t been turkey slapped or twice?
Daggnabbit Bobby-Sue, Whaty that shinny pointy thing him holdin dere?
So woozl just paid that fat fuck Dana White for fucken what ?
Consultation and Exec Producer credits ? And Eric the Okie gets a share, too ?
Cmon, Dirk – wake up. You’re being clowned by bunnies.
Pull the pin on this debacle.
Treek Lau
Speaking of perfect 10s – We’re not Grumpy fucking Locals OK!! So sick of this shit.
Your accent gives you away?
Da?
Only Fans are back on the rub.
Porn leads the way yet again
sanity restored.
Pfizer made lube with added vaxx,
Now there’s a sneaky idea!!
Ill take two to be sure
Im just about out of comments.
Cheering erupts.
Back to the ski for your reset.
Did you hear about the Irish viagra…it’s 99% fat free!
Viaccine
Wow, how stupid*. Terrible photos. Nowhere near a perfect 10. Zeke’s flexing his abs too hard to make it seem like he has any. I’m more looking forward to seeing the photoshoot of BG commenters and Chas enjoying the forthcoming party at Jonah’s for the first annual VAL Appreciation Guthealth Invitational & NSAIDs Awards (VAGINA) and Receding Hairline Pro-Am.
*not as stupid as the rest of this comment.
Bleach Grit
I either drank too much or not enough to understand this
Ricky English?
Tricky Spanglish!
So, who do you guys think is gonna be the next wsl CEO?
They should bring in whoever runs bowling (10 pin). They’ve somehow managed to stick around with a boring, unwatchable product for decades. They even have advertisers
Medina for me.
And no Ingles as his first rule.
So portuguese falando
His not white enough
I Dana about that?
I’m sure it will be someone who should be making sandwiches.
Barry Hearn. Originally from a boxing background, took over world snooker which was on its knees, to lead the the sport to a renaissance
And darts…
The only televised sport where you can drink and smoke whilst participating…gold!
Why not JOB! He ain’t gettin’ any younger.
If I had a gay bone in my body it wouldn’t be Zeke’s.