World Surf League turns to extremely provocative, arguably naughty “Hot Shots” of “The Ultimate Surfer” contestants in hopes of rescuing doomed ABC reality show!

Sizzling.

My goodness, this is unbelievably strange. But should we have given The Ultimate Surfer, a reality show that plays on ABC television at 10pm (9pm central) a nice welcome, as we would give to any Jonah Hill?

There are more things in heaven and earth, Grumpy Local, than you’ve even dreamed of. But now listen to me. No matter how strangely I act (since I may find it appropriate to act a little crazy in the near future), you must never, ever let on—with a gesture of your hands or a certain expression on your face—that you know anything about what happened to me here tonight.

You must never say anything like, “Ah, yes, just as we suspected,” or “We could tell you a thing or two about him,” or anything like that.

Swear you won’t.

Please.

For our World Surf League has just turned to online tabloid TMZ in order to give its flagging “The Ultimate Surfer” a breath of life by advertising extremely provocative “hot shots” of the contestants.

They were deemed a “perfect 10” by TMZ but you are as good a judge of professional surfing as any.

You know the art, the nuance.

Perfect 10?

8.8?

Click here.

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Travis Edgar
Travis Edgar
5 years ago

Faark chuz…just pen another book already…or not….Don’t buy here.

Beef & Beer
Beef & Beer
5 years ago

Every fuckin’ clown who ever thought he was a pro surfer that came from Florida has infected the bowels of surfing with more pungent aromas than all the non surfing fight promoters in the world ever could.
Kelly’s the only guy from that scum sucking state with half an arse worth of stale shit, the rest are just complete fuckin’ mutant kooks…

Kama'aina
Kama'aina
5 years ago
Reply to  Beef & Beer

That dude Frieda Zamba was pretty good at shredding and from Ke11y’s world.

AI (for ever) .
AI (for ever) .
5 years ago

Really? I can only imagine your sarcasm isn’t working that well ?
Much like your more recent blogs ?

Yomar
Yomar
5 years ago

Jimmy Slade got Pamela Anderson – just saying …

Yomar
Yomar
5 years ago

you do realize this is a purely seppo-clusterfuck (again)? While the WSL says it’s a global sports league its show The Ultimate (sic) Surfer is only watchable on seppo cable pay TV/stream and the global pro surfing community is thankfully spared.

commenter
commenter
5 years ago
Reply to  Yomar

“Clusterfuck” is the wrong word.
Most activities attempted by surfers is a “Thrusterfuck.”
Get it right.
Geez.

RQ.
RQ.
5 years ago

the crossover we deserve.

Hot stuff
Hot stuff
5 years ago

It’s great
You can say anything.
No cancel

AI (for ever) .
AI (for ever) .
5 years ago

You can’t tell me a face like that hasn’t been turkey slapped or twice?

Gil Gunderson
Gil Gunderson
5 years ago

Daggnabbit Bobby-Sue, Whaty that shinny pointy thing him holdin dere?

astro
astro
5 years ago

So woozl just paid that fat fuck Dana White for fucken what ?
Consultation and Exec Producer credits ? And Eric the Okie gets a share, too ?
Cmon, Dirk – wake up. You’re being clowned by bunnies.
Pull the pin on this debacle.

Stick man
Stick man
5 years ago

Treek Lau

ricmatic
ricmatic
5 years ago

Speaking of perfect 10s – We’re not Grumpy fucking Locals OK!! So sick of this shit.

Hot stuff
Hot stuff
5 years ago
Reply to  ricmatic

Your accent gives you away?

ricmatic
ricmatic
5 years ago
Reply to  Hot stuff

Da?

Hot stuff
Hot stuff
5 years ago

Only Fans are back on the rub.
Porn leads the way yet again

ricmatic
ricmatic
5 years ago
Reply to  Hot stuff

sanity restored.

Hot stuff
Hot stuff
5 years ago
Reply to  ricmatic

Pfizer made lube with added vaxx,
Now there’s a sneaky idea!!

ricmatic
ricmatic
5 years ago
Reply to  Hot stuff

Ill take two to be sure

Hot stuff
Hot stuff
5 years ago
Reply to  ricmatic

Im just about out of comments.
Cheering erupts.

Stick man
Stick man
5 years ago
Reply to  Hot stuff

Back to the ski for your reset.

Travis Edgar
Travis Edgar
5 years ago
Reply to  ricmatic

Did you hear about the Irish viagra…it’s 99% fat free!

Stick man
Stick man
5 years ago
Reply to  Hot stuff

Viaccine

Karl Von Fanningstadt
Karl Von Fanningstadt
5 years ago

Wow, how stupid*. Terrible photos. Nowhere near a perfect 10. Zeke’s flexing his abs too hard to make it seem like he has any. I’m more looking forward to seeing the photoshoot of BG commenters and Chas enjoying the forthcoming party at Jonah’s for the first annual VAL Appreciation Guthealth Invitational & NSAIDs Awards (VAGINA) and Receding Hairline Pro-Am.

*not as stupid as the rest of this comment.

Stick man
Stick man
5 years ago

Bleach Grit

Ricky Spanish
Ricky Spanish
5 years ago

I either drank too much or not enough to understand this

Stick man
Stick man
5 years ago
Reply to  Ricky Spanish

Ricky English?

Travis Edgar
Travis Edgar
5 years ago
Reply to  Stick man

Tricky Spanglish!

HandJamTurpel
HandJamTurpel
5 years ago

So, who do you guys think is gonna be the next wsl CEO?

Ricky Spanish
Ricky Spanish
5 years ago
Reply to  HandJamTurpel

They should bring in whoever runs bowling (10 pin). They’ve somehow managed to stick around with a boring, unwatchable product for decades. They even have advertisers

Hot stuff
Hot stuff
5 years ago
Reply to  HandJamTurpel

Medina for me.
And no Ingles as his first rule.
So portuguese falando

AI (for ever) .
AI (for ever) .
5 years ago
Reply to  Hot stuff

His not white enough

Travis Edgar
Travis Edgar
5 years ago

I Dana about that?

ValiantScorn
ValiantScorn
5 years ago
Reply to  HandJamTurpel

I’m sure it will be someone who should be making sandwiches.

Jimmy the Saint
Jimmy the Saint
5 years ago
Reply to  HandJamTurpel

Barry Hearn. Originally from a boxing background, took over world snooker which was on its knees, to lead the the sport to a renaissance

Beef & Beer
Beef & Beer
5 years ago

And darts…

Travis Edgar
Travis Edgar
5 years ago
Reply to  Beef & Beer

The only televised sport where you can drink and smoke whilst participating…gold!

Follow the Sun 🌞
Follow the Sun 🌞
5 years ago
Reply to  HandJamTurpel

Why not JOB! He ain’t gettin’ any younger.

Dogsnuts
Dogsnuts
5 years ago

If I had a gay bone in my body it wouldn’t be Zeke’s.


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