In social media first, World Surf League post advertising next episode of “The Ultimate Surfer” reaches heretofore-deemed-impossible universal negativity: “This makes me uncomfortable.”

Iconoclastic.

Since the invention of social media, almost 25 years ago, positive affirmation has been key. Be they likes, followers, friends or flowery supportive comments, acceptance matters and has mattered, supremely. Heart eye emoji. Even the crustiest accounts featuring fumbles and foibles receive thumbs up emojis.

Universal negativity but an urban myth.

Your BeachGrit came close, days ago, when posting a video of a mule or donkey tumbling down a hill.

https://www.instagram.com/p/CS5QI7_Jw4b/

Closer still by dancing with actor famous for not playing sexy beefcakes Jonah Hill.

Still, a 3% support rate hovered, not including ex-surf personality-cum-troublesome gentrificationist Heath “Nutty” Walker who begs to the point of gagging to one day surf with Hill.

https://www.instagram.com/p/CTFgslJJq0d/

Leave it to the iconoclastic World Surf League to break through.

In a recent Instagram offering advertising The Ultimate Surfer post-show podcast featuring fame-bound Joe Turpel and Bachelor-winning Cassie Randolph, universal negativity was achieved.

Not one happy message.

Only vomit emojis.

Unkind words.

But what is thought in Santa Monica’s High Castle?

“Haterz gonna hate?”

“Let’s go ahead and hide this from co-Waterperson of the Year Mr. Ziff?”

Cancellation possibly imminent.

“Get back on the ski and reset.”

?

Sorry.

More as the story develops.

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Tronald Dump
Tronald Dump
5 years ago

The “Nutty” gentrificationist line is pure gold. The thirst is real!

wincy
wincy
5 years ago

I’m going to release them as a Limited Edition as soon as i get my printer fixed

Stanislav Franck
Stanislav Franck
5 years ago

E-Lo will be in his office wincing, or smiling, or farting, coz they all look the same, coming up with his corpo response to the clusterfuck unfolding:

“Moving forward, the WSL will pivot toward a more concentrated demographic audience and onboard more true core fans of surfing. It will commence with our exciting new 12 part series, Jonah’s Journey”

belchfire
belchfire
5 years ago

ear operations and news talk ZB

Goodbye Horses
Goodbye Horses
5 years ago

Make E-Lo do the crates… it would be the only watchable content he’s ever produced.

Otto
Otto
5 years ago

Kelly Sl8r. No wonder he thought he could farm waves.

SlickSaintNik
SlickSaintNik
5 years ago

For those who are wondering, it clocks in at 1 hour 1 min – yes, 61 minutes of “discussion” from these two? Can you think of anything more torturous? https://uploads.disquscdn.c…

Tomas' silky smooth arms
Tomas' silky smooth arms
5 years ago

Was this actually a story?

Otto
Otto
5 years ago

Will there ever actually be more as a story develops?

ValiantScorn
ValiantScorn
5 years ago

HODL!

mike m
mike m
5 years ago

Why would the agribusiness want fungus in honey?

Beef & Beer
Beef & Beer
5 years ago

Here’s some easier answered questions…

“Do you freeze your ‘shrooms ? Pack them in airtight jars ? Or preserve them in honey ?”

ValiantScorn
ValiantScorn
5 years ago
Reply to  Beef & Beer

I’ve always been a fan of, “eat them freshly picked until the vomit has filled your belly button”!

Ricky Spanish
Ricky Spanish
5 years ago

As embarrassing as it is to admit, I watch almost everything surf related, with the notable exception of WSL “content”. How is it possible for them to fuck up so badly and so consistently?

DavidC
DavidC
5 years ago
Reply to  Ricky Spanish

Ricky there’s a piece of corpo theory called “group think”, where everybody in a decision making position agrees with each other – no devil’s advocates. It’s a really toxic thing to have in an organisation – I think the Wossel has it in spades! “Yeah shit man that’s a great idea lets do that!”

Beef & Beer
Beef & Beer
5 years ago

Wow I read Instagram for the first time ever, and found the following quoted comment to be particularly endearing…

“Wake up to yourselves wOsl, you’ve come home drunk on aspiration and shit the bed, again”

Jimmy the Saint
Jimmy the Saint
5 years ago
Reply to  Beef & Beer

So that’s where Wiggs has been hanging out!

Otto
Otto
5 years ago

“The Ultimate Suffer”

Stick man
Stick man
5 years ago
Reply to  Otto

It’s in theatres now…coming this Summer!

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
5 years ago
Reply to  Otto

Ultimate Suffer ……..or Post Martinez …..or NO BANG FOR YOUR BUCKS ?
A documentary following the long suffering decade of Californian Surf Fans in their endless wait for Dane then Brett Simpson then Kolohe then Conner and now Griffin to put their hands on a first place CT trophy ….. ( just like Jaddy , Panda and Keanu managed , with a budget , possibly less than 10% of the lowest paid cali surfer above …)

Of Course Conner could be world champion in a few weeks ? California Dreaming ?

Otto
Otto
5 years ago

The suffering is real.

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
5 years ago
Reply to  Otto

Hi O2 …..Just imagine the celebration when the win finally comes !
It took 100 years for us to finally win the Americas Cup …..

Otto
Otto
5 years ago

It’ll be a big night for the Little Rio Neighborhood in SC.

wincy
wincy
5 years ago

Do premium websites have full sentences and articles that make sense?
I’m here for free so i am not complaining.
I’m just curious.
Also, read any old book, before this satanic social media that you spend all your time on existed, and people were still insecure, desperate for meaning, attention and affirmation.
In the spirit of anti-depressiveness i shall only talk about what i like at Beachgrit:
-Longtom articles which he is writing because he wants to, not because he has to
-Mason Ho and Nathan Florence videos
-The part of the sentences in every 5th article where DR tries
-The articles, that stand out from the quagmire like shining citadels in a Tolkienesque landscape, where Chas writes what he actually means.

bob
bob
5 years ago
Reply to  wincy

Those LT articles may have moved to swellnet, the surf forecasting dollar may have more weight.

M.
M.
5 years ago

Upvote. No idea what you’re asking, but, darn it, we deserve some answers.

AI (for ever) .
AI (for ever) .
5 years ago

Wtf are u on Twillsy? Last time I took a trip like yours they found me 24 hours later sitting naked on a ant nest covered in honey

belchfire
belchfire
5 years ago

William

AI (for ever) .
AI (for ever) .
5 years ago

With surfing at its highest popularity in history only the woozle could make a dog of a show no one’s watching !

Love your work ELO

Dogsnuts
Dogsnuts
5 years ago

Until surfing is promoted as the self fulfilling narcissistic wank fest that it truly is then this will forever happen. And Kelly is still da goat.


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