Forgetting Sarah Marshall’s “Happy Hawaiian Waiter” and Momentum Generation star Kalani Robb turns to popular horse dewormer in order to beat Covid-19; Meticulously documents experience!

"Day two..."

It appears as if Filipe Toledo’s “huge scuffle” at Lower Trestles has finally subsided without much injury. Whew. Dangerous days, still, and strange ones too what with Mick Fanning performing environmental theater, Chinese multinationals selling very cheap surfboards and Forgetting Sarah Marshall’s “Happy Hawaiian Waiter,” Momentum Generation star Kalani Robb contracting the Coronavirus and attempting to cure with the popular horse dewormer ivermectin.

Whew is right.

Robb, who is meticulously documenting his journey on Instagram (follow here), was self-professedly inspired by “Oprah for men” Joe Rogan who also recently contracted Covid-19 and told his loyal following, “We immediately threw the kitchen sink at it. All kinds of meds. Monoclonal antibodies, ivermectin, Z-pak, prednisone, everything. And I also got an anti-D drip and a vitamin drip.”

Studies are inconclusive if ivermectin is, in fact, effective though the Food and Drug Administration very much warns against its use.

Fauci-related?

Some darkly conflicted business?

Rogan went on to say that he cured himself in three days, telling his fans, “I feel pretty fucking good.”

Robb is currently on day two.

How will this worm turn?

More as the story develops.

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Travis Edgar
Travis Edgar
5 years ago

Aaah.. the old magic hands trick eh!

Kama'aina
Kama'aina
5 years ago

Just sayin: In 2015, the Nobel Committee for Physiology or Medicine, in its only award for treatments of infectious diseases since six decades prior, honoured the discovery of ivermectin (IVM), a multifaceted drug deployed against some of the world’s most devastating tropical diseases. Since March 2020, when IVM was first used against a new global scourge, COVID-19, more than 20 randomized clinical trials (RCTs) have tracked such inpatient and outpatient treatments. Six of seven meta-analyses of IVM treatment RCTs reporting in 2021 found notable reductions in COVID-19 fatalities, with a mean 31% relative risk of mortality vs. controls. During mass IVM treatments in Peru, excess deaths fell by a mean of 74% over 30 days in its ten states with the most extensive treatments. Reductions in deaths correlated with the extent of IVM distributions in all 25 states with p < 0.002. Sharp reductions in morbidity using IVM were also observed in two animal models, of SARS-CoV-2 and a related betacoronavirus. The indicated biological mechanism of IVM, competitive binding with SARS-CoV-2 spike protein, is likely non-epitope specific, possibly yielding full efficacy against emerging viral mutant strains.

M.
M.
5 years ago

I think I’m missing your point. Insulin (despite everything) is billion dollar industry and well basically everyone knows the EpiPen story. Two distinct ways to make money of seemingly cheap drugs. We’re talking about an industry that is notoriously profitable.

DrunkenAngel
DrunkenAngel
5 years ago

Sure about the Japan thing? Govt has allowed people to consent to take it but not recommending it per se. Cannot find any such recommend.

Whitefolkswithdreadsarefunny
Whitefolkswithdreadsarefunny
5 years ago

I always make sure I’ve heard of their medical school first. Secondly I make sure their last name is Wu, Chang, Patel or Singh. Then I know I am in good hands.

Stick man
Stick man
5 years ago

lol

Stick man
Stick man
5 years ago

‘universal’ (s)care/

surfshiny
surfshiny
5 years ago

Thank goodness, this should finally put to rest all that criticism about home-schooled pro surfer kids who barely attain a 6th grade education

wincy
wincy
5 years ago

soon daddy

Simon Says
Simon Says
5 years ago

To Chas: You sound dumb as fuck when commenting on Ivermectin. Do some reading. If you knew anything about what Ivermectin has done for the indigenous people of Africa, Indonesia and other tropical geographies suffering from multiple parasitic infections you’d shut your ignorant cake hole. In 2015 William C. Campbell and Satoshi Ōmura won the Nobel Peace Prize for their work on developing this multifaceted drug that’s been deployed against some of the world’s most devastating tropical diseases suffered by humans. These diseases are prevalent in numerous countries around the world where privileged pieces of shit like yourself have surfed and vacationed while in your fog of ignorance, privilege and stupidity. The fact that Ivermectin has an innate ability to keep the viral load in check with the Covid virus is an actual miracle for all of us. So in summary, here’s a link to an important scientific document published by the Japan National Institute of Health to help clue you into the drug that as changed not millions but billions of ‘human’ lives around the world for the better: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.go…. And finally, a little unsolicited advice. Try not to sound like such a typical slime ball mainstream media Hollywood type that comments about people’s personal health choices who doesn’t have a clue what the fuck he’s talking, writing or joking about.

Captain Wack
Captain Wack
5 years ago
Reply to  Simon Says

Slime ball! Thats deep

DrunkenAngel
DrunkenAngel
5 years ago
Reply to  Simon Says

Yet no explicit direct correlation between Ivermectin and Covid-19 cure has been proven to-date. They are trying to though, so fingers crossed. William C. Campbell and Satoshi Ōmura being the good scientists they are would suggest idiots like this wait until such before singing its praises. Just because it works in regards to parasites (and may mitigate complications from such to Covid-19 ill patients) does not mean it is the miracle cure you are looking for (that said, I’ll take a proven miracle cure, that would be grand if it ends this shit show). The fuckwit who is gulping it down based on a Youtuber’s advice is well, as clearly as stupid as they come. What he is doing is not simply ‘personal’ as his idiocy affects others. Stupid is more viral than Covid-19, especially when people mainline youtube. So, to be fair, Kalani Robb is the dumb as fuck one here.

Stick man
Stick man
5 years ago
Reply to  DrunkenAngel

Careful… new guy “Peter” will down-vote you. 🙁

RQ.
RQ.
5 years ago
Reply to  Stick man

hahaha

Hot stuff
Hot stuff
5 years ago

He’s got this
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…

Captain Wack
Captain Wack
5 years ago
Reply to  Hot stuff

Bodies everywhere, the horror

Snowbored
Snowbored
5 years ago

Will Ivermectin cure a bad case of chlamydia?
Asking for a friend. His name is Otto.

bob
bob
5 years ago

Fucken hit the surf news golden trifecta !

-Pro surfer handbag fight
– Negative shark encounter
-Former pro epidemiologist

Whitefolkswithdreadsarefunny
Whitefolkswithdreadsarefunny
5 years ago

If ivermectin is good enough for the fine people of Mississippi, Arkansas and Alabama then I am convinced. Strangely when I asked my primary doctor about its efficacy he just laughed and shook his head. 5 minutes later his gloved finger was up my ass. He also said I should drink less booze and cut down on salt. Do I need better health insurance to get ivermectin?

Jimmy the Saint
Jimmy the Saint
5 years ago

You need a female doctor

Travis Edgar
Travis Edgar
5 years ago

He should have used two fingers…to get a 2nd opinion!

Beef & Beer
Beef & Beer
5 years ago

Malibu’s current top surfer and favourite recent migrant Jonah Hill is also in that movie.
How come you didn’t work him into this article, or is he already last week’s news ?

P.S.
And what about Russell Brand ?
His onscreen surfing debut in that cinematic classic, as well as his regular weekly CoViD based vlog were surely worthy of a mention…

channelbottom
channelbottom
5 years ago

If it’s a human-sized product, then at least he won’t lose his bowel lining. Probably will do fuck-all for the COVID.
He should get onto the proper horse-paste if he really wants to have to wear adult diapers at his age.

Mapski
Mapski
5 years ago

At least his worms will die.

20 mule team
20 mule team
5 years ago

I had a couple beers and hung some Christmas lights to battle COVID. Worked good, guess I should have live-streamed it.

Surfy McSurfyface
Surfy McSurfyface
5 years ago

Remember when there was much hand wringing about how Muslim’s could become radicalized? All it’s taken for so many to rush to the fringes is to ask them to wear a mask and undergo a standard medical response.

J H
J H
5 years ago

Did his doctor prescribe it for him?

If so then the rest of us should shut the fuck up.

Jimmy the Saint
Jimmy the Saint
5 years ago
Reply to  J H

And if his Vet prescribed it?

J H
J H
5 years ago

Did his vet prescribe it?


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