World's best-ever surfboard sale preys on the frail of mind!
Who don’t love a bargain? Earlier today, the BeachGrit commenter Robert Ahearn sent a link to a Firewire Surfboards “summer clearance sale” offering the cream of that company’s range at prices, yeah, too good to be true.
You want a Waikiki Queens Thunderbolt Silver but don’t have the $1150 to throw at it? Today only, eighty bucks.
Same for a Sci-Fi 2.0, a Machado Seaside, a Cymatic, an FRK and so on.
The sorta prices that make the corners of your mouth quiver and heart stop for a pounding instant.
A pop-up window appears, someone from Qld just bought a Thunderbolt, someone from San Diego just bought a Sci-Fi, someone from Oklahoma just bought a Greedy Beaver.
All pretty legit looking and which preys upon the mindset that thinks, it’s only eighty skins, what have I got to lose?
Your ol pal DR is such a tight ass, howevs, I got on the phone to Firewire’s CEO Mark Price (a South African surfer with an achingly beautiful style and a former world #17) to verify the fabulous offering.
Turns out it’s hitting a few diff board builders.
“Major scam,” said Price. “They’ll take your dollars but you’ll never get shipped. We sent out a notice yesterday to all retailers, email blast etc, and we’ve been in contact with ISP to get them removed. If we had any excess inventory it would selling full wholesale, retail, in the current market environment.”
The WordPress site fronting the sale is linked to a PayPal account for Harbin Lerusheng Trading Co Ltd from China, with servers and registration in the US. Facebook account is @FirewireSports.
Maybe they are like, finger-boards.
The only thing Mick loves more than the environment is a dollar.
I was going to use the money I’m expecting from a Nigerian prince to buy one of these
Well it could be factory direct out of Thailand, then pricing makes sense.
I had a rewarding interaction with a scamming telemarketer yesterday. Apparently, as I’d heard from a friend that as opposed to hanging up on a them you could actually waste their time and possibly save another vulnerable victim by ways of wasting the scammers time and depleting their energy. I played along, long enough to establish false rapport. And boy did I fuck with him. It ended quite pleasingly for me with him telling me in a thick sub continent accent to “go and fuck yourself in your own arsehole!” Fuck I laughed. Save a Granny’s pension or worse, fuck with the fuckers, in every application. Namaste.
This guy did it for weeks. Great video, really funny.
https://youtu.be/LiLS7U7YIdc
The Price is Not Right!
Fire-Wire me your money…
No…Seriously…Has anyone out there got any spare money they don’t want?
You know they do! Out there buying up all kinds of dumb shit.
I haven’t felt this cheated since I logged on to the Coffey’s Fans Only content “My top can’t contain my tits,”
Both makes ya feel cheap and dirty! Neither deliver as advertised
Ppfffttttzzzzz
P.S.
Who gives a fuck…
Fuck. You’d have to pay ME to ride a Firewire.
The only time I’d pay you to ride anything is to ride @surtards to punish/reward both because of your comments.
Dazzling
Meanwhile popping up all over my screen while I’m perusing BG are all these ad boxes for all sorts of shit I don’t need, all at 20 to 60% off…
On a Mac ?
ka-block
Not a Mac. Dell. I’ll look one up…
A deserved punishment for any goose buying a FireWire
Even if it was a 2nd hand one listed on Gumtree for $12o bucks, immaculate condition ridden by an old bloke with a grey beard and only on Sundays .??
I’ve been jolly happy with mine. Rode through some nice tunnels on it over in Costa Rica.
I had one on loan en France. Sam Egan. Narrowed out heap of shit only redeemed but some fancy large fcs1 Fanning’s that I detested…until, I stroked into a very fast peak on a dying bank of gushing tide. I don’t know if it was the mild hangover or the excessive amounts of coffee and croissants but it a was late and hung up drop, I shot down and up into the most searing reo/snap/floater I’d ever done. No speed down the line generation and over thinking. Just cerebral post inebriated frustration unleashed in one fell swoop. I paddled back out with renewed confidence in the board only to watch the wind roll in and see the bank do it’s death rattles. Shit boards are like shit friends. Give them time and they’ll do something unforgettable.
If they weren’t so oblivious, and knocked off $200,a few may have fallen for it.
Consider a scenario where group of teen girls off the production line go rogue and mistakenly sell the boards at what it was costing to make them?!
“I would never give anyone a deal, not even my own father!” – price
“The Price is wrong bitch!” -Happy Gilmore
Just got my 15 minutes..woo hoo!
Happy Fathers Day to me.
Father’s day is better than birthdays
Birthdays suk