Heir to Miki Dora’s Malibu throne Jonah Hill pulls ultimate power move; woos and wins heart of surf instructor!

Hot for teacher.

Jonah Hill, Hollywood funnyman and heir to Miki Dora’s Malibu throne, has just pulled the ultimate power move wooing and winning the heart of his surf instructor.

The Wolf of Wall Street star went Instagram official, hours ago, with Sarah Brady sweetly captioning the post “Grateful for you.”

https://www.instagram.com/p/CTm0wGKFPZa/

Brady, whose website declares that she is currently an undergraduate at UC San Diego studying the Anthropology of Climate Change, hails from a line of surfers three generations deep and learned, herself, to slide at three-years-old. She has a smooth longboardy style, as evidenced on her own Instagram, and if I was Commish of the Longboard World Tour, like Devon Howard, I would proffer her a slot post haste.

And, actually, I couldn’t find any reference to her being a “surf instructor.” Yahoo! reported that bit but let’s assume it is true and let us all doff our jaunty beanies Hill’s way because if Van Halen taught us anything at all, it is that wooing and winning teacher is boss.

Van Halen - Hot For Teacher (Official Music Video)
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@surfads
@surfads
5 years ago

The other option was, nice cutback!

Chas Smith
Chas Smith
5 years ago

My dad a high school teacher. Still at 72. Mom worked at Sears, edited books. Parents legends but alas no trust fund.

Chas Smith
Chas Smith
5 years ago

Hahahahahaha!

surfpunk
surfpunk
5 years ago

I pray for a Tiger Shark to bite the crap out of Zuck. We dont need Zuck!

channelbottom
channelbottom
5 years ago

Deep, deep cut sir.

belchfire
belchfire
5 years ago

hahahahahahahaha

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
5 years ago

He really gets to the bottom of it

toaster redux
toaster redux
5 years ago

Gotta watch those reefs

frank
frank
5 years ago

whatever you do, don’t bring anything home!!!

Preston
Preston
5 years ago

Funny, but this will fly right over many heads ‘round here

Matt Warshaw
Matt Warshaw
5 years ago
Reply to  Preston

55 and older.

astro
astro
5 years ago

Multi^^^^^^^
Hahahahahar

Tomas' silky smooth arms
Tomas' silky smooth arms
5 years ago

Looks like the Condor, Rosie and Turps are commentating finals. Ugh.

Pauly Matt War-Shore
Pauly Matt War-Shore
5 years ago

Are you serious? That is disgusting, but I guess half the fun is dissecting their idiocy.

Tomas' silky smooth arms
Tomas' silky smooth arms
5 years ago

Yep from this post looks like Kaipo and Coco too https://uploads.disquscdn.c…

snapper
snapper
5 years ago

Here would be 3 better alter egos in the booth: Vaughany, KK and Gerr.

Laird's performance mushroom
Laird's performance mushroom
5 years ago

Even Italo didn’t go as far as having his eyebrows professionally bleached to match the hair job. This guy is core

Dogsnuts
Dogsnuts
5 years ago

He did his bum hairs too!

Phat-wan kerr
Phat-wan kerr
5 years ago
Reply to  Dogsnuts

bum hairs? I thought it was standard practice to wax prior to bleaching your sphincter?

Dogsnuts
Dogsnuts
5 years ago
Reply to  Phat-wan kerr

Nah nah nah, dark dark roots into blonde is what the surfie girls dig.

Beef & Beer
Beef & Beer
5 years ago

Isn’t Chas haole and proud ?

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
5 years ago

Wait till she finds out hes Harvey Weinstiens bastard son

JOB's second chin
JOB's second chin
5 years ago

‘Grats Jonah, she’s a cutie. How soon do you all think before Jonah is ready for a pilgimage to the proving grounds?

Chas Smith
Chas Smith
5 years ago

Oh great question. This coming winter? A BeachGrit film?

astro
astro
5 years ago
Reply to  Chas Smith

Let’s not get carried away.
I think we’re talking HB.

surfmom
surfmom
5 years ago
Reply to  astro

HB would require the ability to duck dive. No way he makes the paddle if it’s 3+ feet…

Occ Topus
Occ Topus
5 years ago
Reply to  astro

More like San O.

Have Another Cigar Fat Boy
Have Another Cigar Fat Boy
5 years ago

This article by Chas Smith originally appeared on Fatherly:
——-
Between dad bods, DILFs and David Beckham, fathers are trending hard, which is very fine because I am one. I have a gorgeous wife who gave me the cutest blonde daughter 2-and-a-half years ago. They buy me Saint Laurent sunglasses for Father’s Day and I smile at them and they smile at me. But behind those sunglasses, my eyes are bloodshot and hysterical. While everything seems perfect, I find myself in an increasingly precarious position because my wife, while gorgeous, makes at least 10 time what I do and leaves my daughter, the cutest, mostly in my care.

And how on earth is a dad, a man, supposed to have value when his wife is the breadwinner and his 2-year-old princess loving, high heel wearing daughter is his full-ish time job?
——–

Chas rolling out in the mommy van with the diaper bag, doing laundry, groceries, 30 minutes BG article. Wife calls and lays down the law, vacuuming done!? Yes dear working on it, trying to be hyper ironic, but my cool tattoos, honey c’mon!

Self castration, more to come.

Chas Smith
Chas Smith
5 years ago

Oh man. You’re Ashton’s gal, aren’t you.

Have Another Cigar Fat Boy
Have Another Cigar Fat Boy
5 years ago
Reply to  Chas Smith

Your words not mine. But nice try.

NEGATRON
NEGATRON
5 years ago

You’ve certainly got a hard on for Charlie’s writing, that’s quite afew articles now you’ve reposted!

Have Another Cigar Fat Boy
Have Another Cigar Fat Boy
5 years ago
Reply to  NEGATRON

Charlie has a long embarrassing history of published articles.

NEGATRON
NEGATRON
5 years ago

Ummm you’re at Beachgrit. It’s The spiritual home of them.

Have Another Cigar Fat Boy
Have Another Cigar Fat Boy
5 years ago
Reply to  NEGATRON

Fair point.

NEGATRON
NEGATRON
5 years ago

You edited your comment. How about just say what you need to say and get it out the way as we’re all pretty familiar with Chas around here. Might save you from spending your weekend googling his name…

Have Another Cigar Fat Boy
Have Another Cigar Fat Boy
5 years ago
Reply to  NEGATRON

I did edit my comment, I will try to be more concise in the future. I will now re edit my comment to its original state as I understand your concern.

NEGATRON
NEGATRON
5 years ago

Thanks, journalistic integrity both in the comment section and the articles is the backbone of any Charlie Smith/Beachgrit production. Not that I’d need to tell you as you’ve obviously been reading his back catalogue.

Have Another Cigar Fat Boy
Have Another Cigar Fat Boy
5 years ago
Reply to  NEGATRON

The back catalogue I think we would both agree is embarrassing at best and humiliating at worst.

NEGATRON
NEGATRON
5 years ago

So, I’ve got to ask what are you doing here commenting on a Chas Smith story if you’re not a fan? Is it some sort of effort to expose a “truth” about Charlie to others and why are you so invested in him in the first place?

Have Another Cigar Fat Boy
Have Another Cigar Fat Boy
5 years ago
Reply to  NEGATRON

Longtom and Warshaw fan .My guess is most well understand the Charlie “truth” as I suspect you do.

If you are the gatekeeper here you have a non rewarding job. Good luck!

Beef & Beer
Beef & Beer
5 years ago
Reply to  NEGATRON

Pretty sure there’s very few (if any) people here who could be described as actual Chas ‘fans’, and those that are are well outnumbered by the rest of us who appreciate Chas for having this platform that allows us to vent frustration and talk shit in general.

Having said that, Chas seems a great bloke to have a drink and a laugh with, and it’s doubtful he needs anyone sticking up for him over such a trivial matter, and there should be no ‘sacred cows’ on these sacred pages anyway.

Heck I’d pay good money to be a kept man and would shout it from the rooftops at any chance…

ValiantScorn
ValiantScorn
5 years ago
Reply to  Beef & Beer

I’m a Chas fan, he’s actually done something in his life. The majority of people that exist have never trek’d thru Yemen, or Morocco. I don’t care how he writes, and some of his articles are absolute shit. Who cares!? THis is BGrit, and f whoever don’t like it. I mean, where else can you get a panzy NEg to monitor comments and complain about comments, while Chas writes these insane articles? I’m hooked, f the cigar douche!

NEGATRON
NEGATRON
5 years ago
Reply to  Beef & Beer

I certainly ain’t sticking up for Chas, he’s a big boy. Just annoys me when someone clearly has something to say, ya give them the opportunity and the platform and it turns out they’ve got nothing to say.
I’ll only edit my fat thumbed iphone typos not my opinions.

ValiantScorn
ValiantScorn
5 years ago
Reply to  NEGATRON

But you’ll delete other people’s opinions. Right, got it champ.

NEGATRON
NEGATRON
5 years ago
Reply to  ValiantScorn

Yawn

Skinner Brien
Skinner Brien
5 years ago
Reply to  Beef & Beer

I would never want to have a drink with a registered sex offender.

You’re aware of this of certainly…

Beef & Beer
Beef & Beer
5 years ago
Reply to  Skinner Brien

Who do ya mean ?

Pauly Matt War-Shore
Pauly Matt War-Shore
5 years ago
Reply to  NEGATRON

Could be Ashton’s girlfriend?

Hot stuff
Hot stuff
5 years ago
Reply to  NEGATRON

Anderson Cooper over here.

Beef & Beer
Beef & Beer
5 years ago
Reply to  NEGATRON

And that’s coming from someone who edited his comment about someone editing their comment.

Oh shit I just fucked some spelling up, and now I’ve gone and edited my comment about your edited comment about his edited comment.
Will there be no end to the editing of comments around here ?

Chaaaaas, who do you get to edit your ‘writings’ ?

Anthony Arturo Leone
Anthony Arturo Leone
5 years ago

This stuff always makes us love Chas more. We all know what/who he is. But god damn it we just need someone to talk shit about the surf industry for a second and cut through the bullshit overly sanitized positive wall of noise.
Im fucking sick of sunshine, rainbows, and not pissing off sponsors.

Sam George’s Hair
Sam George’s Hair
5 years ago

Bruh, this is what’s endearing about Chas, he’s all that and doesn’t take himself seriously.

Have Another Cigar Fat Boy
Have Another Cigar Fat Boy
5 years ago

Endearing and serial falsehood are different matters. Charlie is pretending to be something his isn’t, perhaps we agree on that.

Dumb Florida Redneck
Dumb Florida Redneck
5 years ago

Okay,RICHARDO TOLEDO!

Have Another Cigar Fat Boy
Have Another Cigar Fat Boy
5 years ago

+1!

ValiantScorn
ValiantScorn
5 years ago

He’s providing entertainment, which is the goal of ALL writing. Bathroom walls, books, songs, poems, smut,…..all entertainment.
I’m entertained!

Whitefolkswithdreadsarefunny
Whitefolkswithdreadsarefunny
5 years ago

Published equals cash…or at least free board decals.

dickie toledo
dickie toledo
5 years ago
Reply to  Chas Smith

maybe the little haberdasher?

Dumb Florida Redneck
Dumb Florida Redneck
5 years ago
Reply to  dickie toledo

Yeah that actually makes sense, see if there’s any other sign of the little FELLAR.

Party Pete
Party Pete
5 years ago

Hi Balls

Sam George’s Hair
Sam George’s Hair
5 years ago
Reply to  Chas Smith

I actually think he might be your old Bronco.

Dumb Florida Redneck
Dumb Florida Redneck
5 years ago
Reply to  Chas Smith

Okay so, from what I can tell you’ve got somebody in Montana who leans left and hates rush Limbaugh and trailer parks. His name is a nod to the deceased Limbaugh. I have no idea what you and rush have in common, but I have no life and plenty of time to read. Hope that narrows it down.

Derek Hynd's Missing Fins
Derek Hynd's Missing Fins
5 years ago

Hadn’t read that. Thanks for sharing. Just shows Chas consistently brings his D- game to us. Fuck you, Chas.

Chas Smith
Chas Smith
5 years ago

Thank you!

@surfads
@surfads
5 years ago

I hope you enjoy the journey of learning to be funny

Have Another Cigar Fat Boy
Have Another Cigar Fat Boy
5 years ago
Reply to  @surfads

??

Chas Smith
Chas Smith
5 years ago

Actually read here before you have a crack? I stand by each of the Fatherly pieces as I stand by everything here. Homework!

Have Another Cigar Fat Boy
Have Another Cigar Fat Boy
5 years ago
Reply to  Chas Smith

Nice try. Enjoyed your last book, pieces here vary between tedious to thoughtful and lol! Your Fatherly work I find cringe worthy but we can agree to disagree politely I suppose.

Chas Smith
Chas Smith
5 years ago

Apparently not politely. You have clear and personal beef. Actually say what it is that frustrates you and I’ll address.

Beef & Beer
Beef & Beer
5 years ago
Reply to  Chas Smith

I didn’t take it that way myself.
He seemed quite mellow and supportive I thought.
Heck I would’ve paid good money to be a ‘kept man’ and laze around bringing up children, surfing, diving, fishing, growing veges, baking bread, brewing beer and BBQing beef while my betrothed bought home the bacon…

Jack Barlow
Jack Barlow
5 years ago
Reply to  Beef & Beer

According to Ben Marcus Chas is actually a trust fund brat. He doesn’t need his wife’s money. Explains a lot about his character

Have Another Cigar Fat Boy
Have Another Cigar Fat Boy
5 years ago
Reply to  Chas Smith

I don’t think anyone has been impolite, if you feel I have my apologies.

Derek Hynd's Missing Fins
Derek Hynd's Missing Fins
5 years ago

Nah. Lame. Clearly passive aggressive. You posted these the other day. This is premeditated to raise some point about Chas. So just say it. Better is write an article and submit it. But right now you’re coming across as an anonymous prick with a lame bone to pick, either for Goggans or Toledo. So fuck off or nut up.

Italo Post Heat Interview
Italo Post Heat Interview
5 years ago

You’re lucky there isn’t a bespoke mahogany coffee table separating the two of you

Ricky Spanish
Ricky Spanish
5 years ago

Chas is a kept man, and we should all be a bit jealous. A life of leisure, cocktails, and even occasionally surfing. That and he can write whatever the fuck he wants with no shame. Seems like he’s got shit sorted out

Have Another Cigar Fat Boy
Have Another Cigar Fat Boy
5 years ago
Reply to  Ricky Spanish

Possibly so, although he seems a bit embarrassed about it.

Ricky Spanish
Ricky Spanish
5 years ago

I don’t think embarrassment is in his emotional repertoire, nor should it be

Occ Topus
Occ Topus
5 years ago

Ouch.

Tomas' silky smooth arms
Tomas' silky smooth arms
5 years ago

Thank you. I need new sunglasses.

Stick man
Stick man
5 years ago

“Gritful for you.”

Dumb Florida Redneck
Dumb Florida Redneck
5 years ago

Ooooh wow, your a millionaire who woo’d a broke 6 at best, when you could charm your way into Penelope Cruz’s pants. I think he’s getting the under achievement part of being a surfer down.

NEGATRON
NEGATRON
5 years ago

Penelope Cruz is probably closer to 60 than 30 these days??

Dumb Florida Redneck
Dumb Florida Redneck
5 years ago
Reply to  NEGATRON

Bad example but I stick by my statement

NEGATRON
NEGATRON
5 years ago

Think I’d be picking the educated beachy peachy Gal.

Dumb Florida Redneck
Dumb Florida Redneck
5 years ago
Reply to  NEGATRON

Fact is I can’t wrap my head around any woman who would sleep with me these days so I don’t follow the teen beat magazine. Also most my dvd collection is from her and Selma’s era. I’m 36 and I sound like I’m talking about “the good ole days” shoot me now.

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
5 years ago
Reply to  NEGATRON

Who studies doomsday
She’d be real fun.

Beef & Beer
Beef & Beer
5 years ago

And wears a brown felt widebrimmed hat and hippy grandpa shirt in her website.
Uh oh, Chaaaaas !
Ya mate Jonah needs help, immediately…

Beef & Beer
Beef & Beer
5 years ago
Reply to  NEGATRON

She seems like a nice girl for sure, and not doubt preferable to any usual Hollywood starlet type.
However, and it’s an important however in these parts.
She can’t be that educated if she wrote ‘I’ instead of the grammatically correct ‘me’ in a line from her website, without going back and editing it.
Uh oh, Chaaaaas !
Ya mate Jonah’s girl needs editing help, immediately…

Return of the Samsung Board
Return of the Samsung Board
5 years ago
Reply to  NEGATRON

However old Salma Hayek is I still love her

NEGATRON
NEGATRON
5 years ago

55. As a fit, young stud with an exotic accent you may actually have a chance.

Return of the Samsung Board
Return of the Samsung Board
5 years ago
Reply to  NEGATRON

Hell fuck yeah man Thanks

BRB team gonna go live my dreams

Otto
Otto
5 years ago

Jonah just doesn’t get it. Surfing is our jealous mistress.

Stick man
Stick man
5 years ago
Reply to  Otto

bringing sand to the beach.

Travis Edgar
Travis Edgar
5 years ago
Reply to  Otto

She looks better no sunnies…he looks better with sunnies..opposites attract…islands in the streams?!


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