Stingy billionaire.
But did you play Fantasy Surfer this year, part of the World Surf League’s suite of content and media? You would not have been faulted, here, for doing so as fantasizing about surfers is part of BeachGrit’s suite of content and media alongside titillating shark tales and the very latest g-string news.
The boys in the booth, Ron, Joe, 88,89, Woz, etc. chatted regularly about their picks, how they were performing etc. but there was only one champion, Zmonde, who used wit, intelligence, foresight and surf awareness to beat them all and beat every other player too.
An astounding victory.
And what was the prize for such commitment and skill?
A trip to next year’s Pipeline Masters?
$500 dollars in WSL PURE One Ocean Activism Eco Credits?
Three pouches of Laird Hamilton SuperFood Non-Dairy Creamer?
Let’s go straight to Zmonde and prepare our jealousies.
Sob – nothing at all for the winner – zilch. Not an invite to a WSL event. Not a board. A block of wax. Not even an email from Dick Z saying well played sir. I tweeted WSL asking what happens if you become the Fantasy League world champion out of 140,000 players. No response. Nothing. Nada. I know it’s just a stupid game but about 140,000 players went at it last year and there is a bit work involved and craft to nail it event after event.
The bastards. The Santa Monica bastards and I know that there has just been a regime change but…
… the gall. The absolute gall and I am going to officially call for co-Waterperson of the Year (19) Dirk Ziff’s co-Waterperson credentials to be re-examined. Maybe like an impeachment hearing.
Back to Zmonde, though, how did he win?
There is my use of transcendental meditation to transport myself into the future and particular beaches to ‘see’ results ha ha…ok i got quite lucky on a few dark horses and backing Jordy for most of the season paid off…
Backing Jordy paying off… who would have guessed? Who could have guessed?
But I suppose, at the end, it paid off nothing.
And what should the World Surf League gift next year’s winner? Also, how should the powers there hiding behind that Wall of Positive Noise apologize to Zmonde?
The only bad suggestion is the one that goes un-offered.