"Then I get a call from this girl at Globe and she’s gone to meet up with Sunny (Garcia). Then, a text, that reads, ‘Lock the doors!’"
Five years ago at the 2016 Surfer Poll awards in Hawaii, and during a group acceptance speech by Globe teamriders for best movie, the Australian surfer Noa Deane leaned into the microphone and said, “Fuck the WSL!”
The throwaway line caused much distress and Noa issued an apology shortly after.
”I would like to apologise for my actions 2 nights ago at the surfer poll awards, it was incredibly stupid, what i said was not targeted at any of the surfers on tour and they are on there because they are the best surfers in the world. I truly respect them and above all I’d like to apologise to the people of Hawaii and any kids watching. I’m meant to be a role model in surfing and my actions on the night were not appropriate and that was not the time or place to voice that opinion.
“My only goal was to raise the point of surfing not becoming a corporate sport like football but I can see and acknowledge how I came across and I am sorry… I’m truly humbled to receive the AI award someone who I looked up to as a kid and loved his surfing, and can’t believe that I over shadowed the honour with my actions later in the evening.
“Apologies to any one I have offended.”
As Longtom wrote six months ago,
“The original comment by Noa Deane, who was a mere four months into his post-teen life, was ridiculed and moralised by the usual suspects but has assumed a quiet staying power and historical significance.
“The immediate blowback for Deane was swift, but the usual evangalizing nonsense missed the mark big time.
“Fuck the WSL has endured, the blowback is long forgotten.”
Now, and as revealed on the wildly popular surfing podcast Ain’t That Swell, the repercussions on the ground were serious.
Guests Creed McTaggart and “Baby” Dion Agius, who were on stage when the immortal line was issued, say Noa didn’t leave his room at the Turtle Bay Hotel for three days and that he cried for most of it.
“Noa was getting fucking death threats! He cried for three days!… When he said it, everyone went…ohhhhhh…crickets… no one clapped. Next day, shit went down, shit hit the fan, fucking, all the heavies came around. I went over there, me and Toby (Cregan) just to make him feel better. He was so fucking rattled. But, now, it’s so fucking good, the best fucking quote ever. He nailed it! We go on trips and, randomly, at a bar or whatever, someone will see Noa and say, Fuck the WSL! And he’s like… aaaaaaaay! It’s his catchphrase!”
“It was absolutely fucked. The North Shore is already scary as fuck, heavies everywhere. And I’m so fucking freaked out. I’ve heard all these rumours about people coming to bash us and shit. My buddy said, buy some whisky, have some sips, calm down. Then I get a call from this girl at Globe and she’s gone to meet up with Sunny (Garcia). Then, a text, that reads, ‘Lock the doors!’ Are you fucking kidding me? What? I’m texting back, what context? What do you fucking mean? I grabbed everyone’s passports and laptops ‘cause I thought people would come and bash me and trash the house. I grabbed everyone’s shit and hit it in a tiny cupboard and walked down the beach.
“I didn’t know what to do. I’m about to get fucking lit by a bunch of massive Hawaiians so I started walking down the beach with a towel over my head. And I’m walking down the beach and I hear, ‘Dion! Dion!’ I’m fucking dead. I’m about to die. And it’s fucking Julian Wilson pulling up on his golf cart and he goes, ‘How are you, mate?’ And I go, ‘I’m about to fucking die!’ And I went and laid on the beach for five hours shaking.
“My buddy Dylan who saw how rattled I was said, ‘We’re going to Honolulu’, booked a big hotel room, the big fucking pink one, then I left Hawaii and I’ve never been back it scarred me so fucking bad. It was fucked. It was honestly fucked!”
“Then Parko came and lit up Deany, ‘What the fuck was that!’ Parko was going Gold Coast heavy on him. Deany was, ‘I know, I’m sorry!’ and wrote this huge apology or whatever.
Good times! Listen here, thirty-nine minutes in…