Upside.
Yesterday, the 50-adjacent onetime prodigy Joel Tudor became champion of professional longboarding with his inspirational win at the Jeep Malibu Classic presented by Havaianas. The victory, over British man Ben Skinner, cemented Tudor’s already extremely solid place in surf history.
The oldest champ ever and the black belt declared, afterwards, “The most proud thing of all of this is that I finally beat Kelly at something. So remember that.”
Poignent and made me wonder. Is professional longboarding secretly the jewel in the World Surf League’s gilded crown?
To wit, longboarding is much more practiced by the legions of VALs embracing surfing as a healthy lifestyle alternative and much more understood by them. This vast army represents the sort of hockey stick growth the WSL so craves.
Furthermore, the gap between the women and the men is virtually non-existent leading to the very real possibility of the two competing in one, beautiful genderless class. Equal prize money, equal opportunity, equal wave quality, equal coverage, more than equal hope in breaking through mainstream reticence to embrace a pursuit often seen as “white” and “privileged.”
Groundbreaking.
Lastly, the League is sitting on the world’s greatest longboard wave, one that can be conjured at the push of a button flowing magnificently through the middle of industrial dairyland.
Altogether, it really does seem there is much more upside in longboarding than in short.
Not convinced?
Prove me wrong.
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its ok cuz he has a bigger crew than the fat actor.
Probably is the most relatable aspect of surfing to the masses. Good point.
Oh yeah, a little bit of jiu jitsu goes a long way. A few years ago I blew my top and pulled a Ralphie and got in a fight with possibly the biggest dickhead local at Malibu.
A combination of the dickhead Cobra Kai guy from Karate Kid and doomed psycho-coward Johnny Ringo from Tombstone.
He attacked me like George Brett storming out of the dugout during the pine tar incident.
Go to 2:45 in this. It’s exactly what dickhead looked like as he came charging at me from PCH.
https://www.mlb.com/video/7…
We rolled around on the ground a bit and didn’t do too much damage, but my friend R_____ from R____ D____ J_____ happened to be there.
He pulled dickhead off me and put him in some kind of jiujitsu hold.
Not trying to hurt him, just trying to calm the little psycho down.
I couldn’t really see them because some citizen was sitting on me.
When we got up the dickhead’s face was a mess: bloody, bits of skin hanging off, face all red.
I wanted to murder the dude, but then I was worried about him: “What happened to you? I didn’t do that. I kinda lost!“
I had the presence of mine to snap a smartphone photo of him – which I should display here but won’t – and then he sucker-punched me and knocked off my Maui Jims that I have to buy on EBay because they don’t make the Voyagers anymore.
A guy named Chris ran them over in his van.
But it was worth it.
That night we went to dinner at the sushi place next to Fogo de Chao: Matsumotos or whatever.
The guy Padilha who directed Robocop 2 and produced Narcos was there.
Rickson Gracie was supposed to show face, but his wife wouldn’t let him out.
But one of Rickson’s associates was there.
They were all laughing at me and it was pretty funny.
I asked them what I did wrong and they said: You fought. Fighting is stupid. You are too old to be fighting.”
And then I said, “No what did I do wrong technically.”
And they said: “You gave your back. Never give your back.”
I didn’t find out until later what happened to dickhead’s face: Those were burst blood vessels from struggling to get out of that jiujitsu hold, whatever it was.
R____ from R____d____ J_____ is by no means a Ri0-class badass, but he proved that day that a little jiu jitsu goes a long way.
You’re welcome.
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Another reminder: When it comes to professional surfing there’s no there there.
We now know where DR picked up his terrible American accent.
Streetbeefs
I loved how Joel had to explain that the whole competing again thing was strange, winning the contest, title, etc… Reminded me of a highschool reunion where the guy who (instead of buying a mid length) went full middle aged hippy, asked “anyone want to smoke some weed?” A buddy took him up on it and the first thing out of his mouth when he returned was “this reunions so strange”. Ya I bet a big social event where you haven’t seen anyone in a decade seems strange right after smoking a bowl. Anyway, congrats on the World Title and win at Malibu Joel.
Land race sativa rules
Durban Poison FTW
I think thats one of the originals from that continent? Kind of a rabbit hole to go down..I just have disliked indicas effects since….for ever pretty much. (altho indica hash at high altitudes Sierra Nev hiking didnt use to get me all twitched out like sativa did)
They both have their uses. And stuff like Afghan Kush, from the Hindu-Kush Mountains, the epicenter of marijuana, is great for relaxing providing relief from things like altitude sickness (at least for me).
Nah not my thang BUT I have number of friends who do and I am the prize in their eyes as they want to convert the militant hetero to the dark side. Too committed to the gash…
BTW does anyone know who the blondie was that got thrashed by Kainoa and Kala? Has he ever gone gone surfing again? Did he move to Utah?
he went home and made a montage of himself getting a black belt.
Which Marshall brother is that?
Bringing a new meaning to the term ‘trim’.
Internet for the day*
#lifegoals
The best tool to antagonize a lineup (other than an electric foil board obvs) is a fucking kayak. There was a guy at Tongg’s who was always trying to surf his kayak and I would just relish when eventually he got rolled and pitched over on a wave. Like a 15 ft one (kayak, not the wave).
Rooting shortboarders? Wow, the dynamics have REALLY changed…
A proper spear will have them out of the water long time!
Longboarding hipsters and surfmoms must die.
Equal anger at BG.
Joel just went on Kelly’s naughty list. Joel- stand by and prepare to be one-upped
Kelly will unleash his trump card on Joel-BLOCKED!!
That will teach him.
Edit- or even worse…UNFOLLOWED!!
Professional surfing, longboarding or short-boards– just seems to be a losing proposition–isn’t that why the surf companies basically gave it away to a billionaire, so he could keep his wife (Natasha) happy.
Happy wife–happy life…