Explosive new global study launched to
determine if surfers are truly the “guardian angels of the sea” or
simply full of vile self-congratulatory lies!
By Chas Smith
Numbers don't fib.
A shockwave is reverberating across the social
scientific world, this morning, as it has been revealed
that a potentially landscape altering study is being embarked upon
seeking to determine whether surfers are the true “unsung heroes”
when it comes to saving lives or the lowest form of
self-congratulatory liars that ever paddled the seas.
Professor Rob Brander of the University of New South Wales
(UNSW) first published a study nearly seven years ago that
suggested surfers rescue as many people as volunteer lifesavers and
that 63% of surfers feel they have saved a life.
Again, 63% of surfers feel they have saved a life.
The numbers have haunted, Dr. Bander and colleagues all these
nearly seven years and so are kicking off a new study to quantify
the actual count of “guardian angel” surfers worldwide.
“It’s estimated that over 35 million people regularly
participate in surfing – that’s a lot more than the entire
population of Australia,” says Dr. Brander. “In Australia
alone there are an estimated 2.5 million surfers, which is about
10% of the population. So we are really interested to see if
we can get stronger data about surfers and how many rescues they
might make each year at Australian beaches, and whether this is
consistent the world over.”
Will the jig be up when Dr Brander and his colleagues start
poking? Will it be revealed that surfers are unrepentant cons who
will say anything for a pat on the back or true halo’d saints?
Which do you think?
Do you feel you have saved a life?
More as the story develops.
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Malibu surf icon whose legend was
dramatised in seminal teen movie “Gidget” reported missing
somewhere in Venice area! “It is possible he is suffering from some
age-related mental frailty and is wandering the streets of west Los
Angeles”
By Ben Marcus
Help bring a cultural icon home.
Surfer, motorcycle racer, artist, hep-cat, and
co-founder of The Royal Hawaiian crowd-clearing technique at
Malibu, Billy al Bengston was one of the members of the Malibu pit
crew in the 1950s who had all those lovely green
walls to himself and friends, which included Miki “Da Cat” Dora,
Terry “Tubesteak” Tracy, Kemp and Denny Aaberg and a Happy Few
digging the secret thrill of surfing in the 1950s.
More importantly, Bengston was a serious player in the art world
– one of the most influential California artists to move out of the
1950s into the 1960s – and is called by some “The West Coast Andy
Warhol.”
On the night of November 28, surfer/ceramicist = surferamicist
Cory Bluemling sent an alarming AT RISK/MISSING PERSON bulletin (by
way of the California Highway Patrol and Malibu local Carla
Rowland) alerting the public that an 87-year-old man named Billy
Bengston was missing in the Venice area.
Cory wondered if this was the same artist/surfer whose art was
so influential in the middle of the 20th Century, and whose
nickname inspired the James Darren character in the 1959 movie
Gidget.
Quick emails went around and there were responses from Kathy
“Gidget” Kohner-Zuckerman,
“He lived on Mildred in Venice. Yes this could be a pix of Billy
Al and I have not seen him in a long while. Age would be correct
about… is this for real?”
And Phyllis “The Concrete Heiress” Tracy, wife of Tubesteak
Tracy (RIP 1935 – 2018).
“Yes. I thought he lived in Venice.I hope he’s ok.”
So Venice and the age match up, so this missing person probably
is the surfing world’s Billy Al Bengston, and that’s a worry.
“So what?” you sneer. “Who is this guy? What’s it to me? How
does this affect my trip?”
According to Wikipedia,
“Billy Al Bengston (born June 7, 1934 in Dodge City, Kansas) is
an American artist and sculptor who lives and works in Venice,
California and Honolulu, Hawaii. Bengston is a contemporary artist
probably best known for his work that he created that uses the
radical Californian “Kustom Kar” and motorcycle culture. He used
colors that were psychedelic and shapes that were mandala
like.”
It’s all true, and the (2021 – 1934 = 87) matches up to the age
of the missing Billy Bengston.
Fleshing out the Wikipedia, there is this from the Getty.edu
webpage:
“Billy Al Bengston (born 1934) is a flamboyant character who,
beginning in the late 1950s, combined art with professional
motorcycle racing and quickly became a key player in the Ferus
Gallery circle. He had five solo shows at Ferus from 1958 to 1963,
as well as a major exhibition at the Los Angeles County Museum of
Art in 1968. The motorcycle imagery in several early works
associated Bengston with West Coast Pop, as did his use of
techniques and materials drawn from custom-car and motorcycle
culture, while the polished surfaces he achieved with spray lacquer
also connected him to early conceptions of Finish Fetish.”
Finish Fetish. Out of the 1950s and into the 1960s, Bengston was
a sharp-looking, clean-cut dude with a moustache who – like
Bruce Brown and John Severson and other surfer artists of that era
– dabbled in surfing and motorcycles and brought inspiration
from those pursuits to their art.
So what is the connection between this real Moondoggie and the
fictitious character in the 1959 movie Gidget?
In the book, Moondoggie invents the name “Gidget” (a
fusion of “girl midget”), and eventually gives the chirpy teenager
his class pin. Asked by Longboard Magazine in 1997 if there was in
fact any romantic relationship between himself and Kathy Kohner—the
real-life Gidget and daughter of author Kohner— Bengston dismissed
the thought. “She brought sandwiches to the beach. We ate
them.”
Billy Al Bengston is 87 years old and while surfers like to
think our kind are not prone to mental disabilities because surfers
spend their lives bathing their brains in adrenaline and endorphins
and other such sweet liquors (See: Dick Metz, Mickey Munoz, Gidget)
it is possible Bengston is suffering from some age-related mental
frailty, and is wandering the streets of west Los Angeles.
Please be on the lookout and let’s get Moondoggie home.
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World’s most famous Great White Shark
doppelgänger captured lurking near Southern California, likely
practicing choreography for gory “Hollywood moment!”
By Chas Smith
Jaws part Deux.
I’ll tell you what. There is nothing more
difficult than ballet choreography. Why and how I know such is a
longer story, becoming a book, but my goodness and wow. The moves
are all in French, impossible to do, rapid fire and must be exact.
Exact. Not one toe out of place. Not one finger wrong. Toss in
dizzying spins, inhuman flexibility, a brain able to sort the
specifics then add grace and flow.
Hollywood acting, I’d imagine, much easier but maybe not for
Great White Sharks as their brains are only 60 centimeters long
and, thus, a Great White was practicing her simple choreography
very near Southern California in a possible indication that the
world’s most famous Great White Shark role, Jaws, is being
recast.
Per news
reports, Nikki Brant Sevy and Euan Rannachan of the Be
A Shark diving operation were off Guadalupe Island snapping
headshots when they saw “Nicole” working her routine.
“When sharks are serious about getting a hang bait they often
make a fast vertical approach from the depths.” Sevy told The New York
Post. “I saw Nicole approaching from below and was
able to visually track her as she instigated her approach. She rose
up directly in front of me and I knew I had the chance at a Jaws
movie poster shot. There were a lot of mackerel around that day,
and I was worried they ruined the photo by getting between me and
Nicole, or that they pulled focus from her. Checking your photos
underwater is difficult, though, so I crossed my fingers and went
back to photographing Nicole for another hour. It wasn’t until the
trip was over that I downloaded my images and realized I got the
shot.”
Ugh.
Would you like to audition for “surfer getting eaten” in the
re-deux?
Easier than ballet, I’ll tell you that right now.
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Open Thread: Comment Live day two of the
Michelob Ultra PURE GOLD Haleiwa Challenger!
By Chas Smith
Crack a green one.
Well, the jig is up at least for now. The World
Surf League has made all its contests un-embed-able. Because the
audience is so huge, I’d imagine, and turning folks away is the
only sensible option.
Fuck them.
The Haleiwa boys, and girls, are in the water anyhow. Watch here, or don’t.
Comment below.
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Honolulu responds to livid North Shore
residents’ pleas, introduces bill to severely restrict short-term
housing thereby threatening the migrant surfer’s way of life!
By Chas Smith
Howzit.
North Shore residents are mad as heck and not
going to take it anymore. Inundated with folks buying homes then
flipping them into short term rentals has choked streets with
traffic and turned one-time friendly neighborhoods into zombie
zones where two-week vacationers from Albuquerque greet one-week
vacationers from Cincinnati with shakas and “how-zits.”
So mad as heck, in fact, that a bill is being introduced to the
Honolulu City Council that would seek to kill the short term rental
situation with taxes.
Under Bill 41, which has already passed a first reading at
the Honolulu City Council, short-term rentals would be taxed at
higher rates than residential homes, among numerous other changes
to the city’s land use law.
Properties where the owner lives on site would be taxed at
the bed-and-breakfast rate.
Transient vacation rentals, investment properties for owners
who live off-site, would be taxed at the same rate as hotels and
resorts – almost four times the lowest residential rate.
Seemingly wonderful except caught in the net would be longterm,
and legendary, residents like Mark Foo’s widow SharLyn who has run
Backpackers for decades, a hostel that allows migrant surfers to
follow seasonal swells and sleep cheap.
“They keep saying they’re going to leave the existing, legal
NUCs (or non-conforming use) alone,” Foo told Civil Beat, “But what
they’re really trying to do is put everybody out.”
Her taxes would soar from $27,000 a year to over $90,000 coupled
with many fees.
The residents and long-time hostel/bed and breakfast
owner-operators are trying to find a solution wherein they are not
hit with a sledgehammer while, also, ridding the fabled 7-plus mile
miracle of illegal rentals.
Any ideas?
Will the mainland-dwelling North Shore income property owners
fight back?