Coke, good for kissing!

Forty-six kilos of “pure white cocaine”, worth millions, found on beach at Jeffreys Bay! “Until you’ve got your mouth full of cocaine, you don’t know what kissing is”

Cocaine's a hell of a drug etc.

A forty-six kilogram shipment of “pure white cocaine”, compressed into bricks and sealed in black plastic, was found on the beach at Jeffreys Bay last Wednesday and handed into local police by a couple walking their dog. 

“The suspected drugs were seized for forensic examination and the docket was referred to Hawks Serious Organised Crime Investigation team based in Gqeberha for a further probe,” said the local head cop. “No arrest at this stage pending the ongoing investigation.”

J-Bay coke.

It’s about now you play that little game of what-would-you-do? Forty-six kegs ain’t an amount to be trifled with. 

Cut into one-gram bags, street value in Australia $400, let’s say it’s diluted by fifty percent, and that’s thirty-six million dollars. (Unless my maths ain’t functioning.)

Yeah, South Africa is a hell of a lot cheaper. And, yeah, that’s someone else’s coke and they ain’t gonna be happy if you’re schlepping it around.

So what would you do?

Hand it in?

Cut a piece off for personal use, maybe a little extra for pals?

Go full Pablo Escobar?


Ain’t my favourite treat although I do subscribe to Aleister Crowley’s take in Diary of a Drug Fiend.

“Until you’ve got your mouth full of cocaine, you don’t know what kissing is. One kiss goes on from phase to phase like one of those novels by Balzac and Zola and Romain Rolland and D. H. Lawrence and those chaps. And you never get tired. You’re on fourth speed all the time, and the engine purrs like a kitten, a big white kitten with the stars in its whiskers.”

Dirty Water: Surfing rock star turned Bruce Lee of technique Brad Gerlach talks “rubber dicks” and how to bring “Voodoo spirits” into your game!

"I wanted to give you my cherry! Take it now, it's yours!"

I’ve always felt an exquisite tenderness towards Brad Gerlach, an almost world champ, who rubbed his heady gristle against the tour’s stiffening dingus in the late eighties, early nineties.

Gerlach is the son of a Hungarian Olympian who later became a stuntman, and who became famous, in 1971, for jumping out of a hot air balloon and into a three-foot thick foam pad.

Gerlach retired from the tour at twenty five to pursue the “the artistic side of surfing”.

He was one of the first surfers to ride Cortes Bank, one hundred miles out to sea, and and, in 2005, won sixty-eight thousand dollars by riding a sixty-eight foot wave at Todos Santos. 

He is even lovelier now than when he was at his professional surfing peak in the eighties and nineties. 

He wears fiery little hats in bottle green, spectacles that shave years off his biological age and his lean body betrays a carnal fluency.

(And click here to examine his Wave Ki surf technique.)


Calls grow for World Surf League to formally apologize to Federative Republic of Brazil after using stereotypical trope in describing surf fanbase!

Much passion.

Days ago, it was announced that the World Surf League, headquartered in Santa Monica, California, had signed a stunning television rights deal with Latin America’s largest network, TV Globo out of Rio de Janeiro. Per the press release:

Today the World Surf League (WSL) announced that, beginning in 2022, Globo will be the official media partner in Brazil. The new three-year media deal will be effective from 2022 through 2024, providing multi-platform coverage that will be amplified on Globo TV, Globoplay,, and Canal OFF. This new media deal will give the passionate Brazilian audience the opportunity to watch the world’s best surfers in action, including all of the Brazilian athletes that are on the forefront of competitive surfing.

Questions immediately rose as to the use of the word “passionate” as it is the one and only adjective used to describe Brazilian surf fans and has, therefore, become a stereotypical trope. Racist-adjacent.

Why can’t Brazil’s fanbase be “informed” or “dedicated?”


In any case, calls are growing for the World Surf League to issue a formal apology to the federative republic. David Lee and I discussed, on yesterday’s podcast, and also discussed Neo-punk music. Worth your time, I think.

Surf Journalist utilizes fitness strap’s daily diary feature in order to stay dancing fit these strain-filled holidays!

I’ll tell you what, training for a ballet premier is no easy feat. Curtains officially rise tomorrow night, after a lengthy overture, exposing a stage glittered with presents, a Christmas tree and glitter. A sense of awe, wonder.

Magical but hard yards getting there. I have spent the past two nights at the theater dress rehearsing with young daughter, a vision, and the remaining cast and crew of San Diego Ballet Academy’s iconic staging of The Nutcracker.

In makeup and dress until the wee hours.

Oh it’s all very much worth it but there would be no way I could handle the stress, the strain, without the guidance of my personal digital fitness and health coach.

WHOOP tells me how hard I’m pushing, when to sleep, what recovery is looking like setting me up for success the next exhausting morning. It also serves me with a morning journal exercise. A diary, of sorts, using the prompts “Yesterday did you… have any alcoholic drinks? Have any caffeine? Used marijuana in any form?” I ignore the marijuana question, as it is inapplicable, but think hard about answering the first two thereby keeping me on a very necessary straight and narrow. I also write the specifics of the previous day’s activities.

“Dear Diary…” I begin “…Yesterday was a doozy. I showed up at California Center for the Arts already tired, applied my eyeshadow, eyeliner, rouge, lipstick in the dressing room then put on my false breasts, hoop, corset, skirt and top back stage. It was very tiring. The Bon Bons were in fine form, playing tag between my legs and telling me that I looked like a ‘weird lady’ but thankfully my recovery was in the green so I was able to take it in stride only stepping on one. Wish me luck, tomorrow. xoxo. Yours, Surf Journalist.”

I am able to stop, reflect, be best. Does your fitness coach do that for you every morning?

It can.

Buy here.

Decapitated shark’s head left on conservationist’s car in apparent mafia-style warning as “gruesome feud” between activists and fishermen heats up!

The Godfather comes to Jervis Bay!

A fishing contest at Jervis Bay, a town famous for its pretty white sand beach a few hours south of Sydney, has ended with a local activist’s car being graffitied and decorated with the head of a decapitated Tiger shark.

“The White Sands Fishing Competition, which included both the tag and release and capture categories for sharks, saw a tiger and a mako killed, weighed, and beheaded on Saturday. With their carcasses abandoned in the sea, one of the shark heads was kept for taxidermy while the other was dumped on a car owned by a local diving company. The vehicle was also graffitied after a protest video showing the tiger shark being weighed was posted online,” according to ABC News.

The car belongs to Jervis Bay freediving outfit Woe Be Gone, whose environmental bona fides are solid and in stark contrast to the kill-and-dump ethos of competing fishermen.

From the Woe Be Gone site, “Beware greenwashing. We don’t serve animal products on our boats. We have a strict ‘no touch and no harassment’ policy. Interactions between us and the creatures of the sea are only ever on their terms.”

Headless Mako and Tiger.

“Destruction of property. Vandalism. Dismemberment of a wild animal. Lots of ways to describe the act,” writes another shark conservationist Madison Stewart, “A small local business @woebegone_freedive came back to their car to find this and some damage done, after posting about a legal and public fishing tournament occurring in Jervis Bay, Australia. If the individuals engaging in these compeitions are so confident about their actions, catch and sponsors, then why feel the need to react in such a way? Perhaps it’s the fact that bringing awareness to these competitions reveals how much of the public is apposed to them. This is not the first or only vandalism i’ve seen at the hands of fishermen in reaction to nothing more then their actions being made public. Yet we are always labeled the radical ones. Above all… this act is very revealing that there are individuals being deeply effected by the attention being brought to them.”

The Jervis Bay Game Fishing Club, which ran the event, said they didn’t condone the action but, well, shark fishing is legal, so what can you do?