Dirty Water: San Francisco foil-boarder whose expensive craft was destroyed by rock-wielding local holds olive branch out to attacker, offers free foiling lesson, “I’m not very proud to come out these days and say, yeah, I’m a surfer!”

Foil-pilot John von Tesmar breaks silence on wild scene at Fort Point… 

Today’s guest on the amateurish phone-in interview series called Dirty Water is San Francisco foilboarder John von Tesmar whose board was destroyed by furious locals at Forth Point, a junky left under the Golden Gate bridge,

Wild scenes at Fort Point as surfer uses rock to destroy foil-board in shadow of Golden Gate Bridge

In case you’re not au fait with the scene at Fort Point, it has a cadre of locals former Surfer editor Steve Hawk describes simply as “dicks.”

Anyway, our guest lost his board and it got washed up on the rocks where it is attacked by an angry local who jerks a rock above his head multiple times to slay the damn thing, a video of the event going viral.

One month later, in one of the feel-good stories of the year, our foilboarder returned to Fort Point with his jet boat and foil board and rode several waves to glory, even referencing the Mattew Wilder song Break My Stride as he braved the torrid Fort Worth surf scene.

Lovers of harmonics will enjoy the concluding twenty seconds or so as von Tesmar reprises his Break My Stride moment.

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Sellme fitzgobbins
Sellme fitzgobbins
4 years ago

“cause I couldn’t control my new foil and board I rode close to the surfers ”
Everything that is wrong with adult learners in one quote
You are are a total fuckstick mate ,being rich and entitled doesn’t make you right and not understanding the rules is no excuse
Try ride your dirtbike on a BMX track
Fuckstick

Captain Wack
Captain Wack
4 years ago

And to finish the conversation,.. Hey Chas, we have a mutual friend in San Francisco, geez what’s his name argh I can’t remember

Captain Wack
Captain Wack
4 years ago

Chas – Do you paddle out on a 5,11 thruster?
Jon – Yeah sure I own that board, good fish…
And I instantly realised he has no idea what he is talking about

Disco
Disco
4 years ago
Reply to  Captain Wack

That was my favourite bit! I thought the same and that was only 3 mins in… I thought no way am I listening to this whole thing but funny enough I did, Chapeau to Dez and Chas they took the piss with perfect touch.

Dead Beat
Dead Beat
4 years ago

That was a hard listen. That place seems to be only inhabited by charcuterie’s of all the different surfing cliques. Thanks California for all the entertainment

Ami Lost
Ami Lost
4 years ago
RQ.
RQ.
4 years ago

‘Foil Pilot’ seems incredibly generous.

Occ Topus
Occ Topus
4 years ago

Too bad the locals didn’t spare the foil board and instead beat the rider with rocks (on video of course).

Jimmy the Saint
Jimmy the Saint
4 years ago

“Have you ever wondered if there was more to life, other than being really, really, ridiculously good looking?” – John von Tesmar

Mapski
Mapski
4 years ago

None of this would have happened if he just took his jetboatfoilboarding act to Potato Patch.

munnstrosity
munnstrosity
4 years ago
Reply to  Mapski

and got chomped for good measure

Keith Grace
Keith Grace
4 years ago

Straight-up, the biggest beyond-kook, a-hole you guys have ever had on Dirty Water… and at the same time, of every Dirty Water interview, I do not recall a finer job in dealing with someone of this nature like you did Derek and Chas… Derek, your tone the entire time was utterly priceless… but Chas did steal the show, when throwing in his guess that the mutual friend foil-boy spoke of was Ashton… priceless… great job Derek and Chas!

surfshiny
surfshiny
4 years ago
Reply to  Keith Grace

Without a doubt! He basically admits to “almost hitting a couple surfers” after riding his friend’s board for the first time straight into the lineup. Takes no blame. Hey, it’s not a “surf aggro thing”, you’re a dangerous kook, farrrrrck!

He even lowballs his friend and doesn’t pay the full replacement cost of the board. Cool bro.

Derek and Chas, you are true professionals.

Lorlac
Lorlac
4 years ago

Fuck Derek, I love you for this interview. It was perfect.

Stephen Wolfram
Stephen Wolfram
4 years ago

“I’m not very proud to come out these days”
Fixed it fer ya

Wave Wizard
Wave Wizard
4 years ago

Poor guy needs to move on.


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