"I bet you don't even know how the wind works."
Very many of my favorite things happened to collide in a Southern California parking lot, presumably San Onofre, recently and all captured to film. The scene is picked up in its middle when a woman with jet black hair held back by sunglasses and a black vest, pant combination approaches what sound to be a gaggle of surfers, pointing and saying, “You need to get out of here, I already told you once. Get the fuck out. Get in your car, drive the fuck away and never come back here again. Not once.”
It is unclear what was done, which bit of bad behavior to deserve the tongue whipping, creating much tension.
One of the offenders, in any case, asks, “Have you ever been to this beach before?” and Karen gets set right off.
“Have I ever been to this beach before?” face twisting gorgeously, rage-filled sarcasm dripping from every not-so-subtle movement “Have you ever been to Church’s* or Lowers or Middles?” then something about going left, telling them all they could never do it.
“Are you a surfer?” is the next question proffered, shooting the exchange to the moon.
“Am I a surfer?” voice breaking “I’M A SAILOR, BITCH! You can’t sail. I bet you don’t even know how the wind works!”
And end.
But is this not the best piece of surf-adjacent cinema that has been released in a decade? Maybe two? Hollywood’s finest actors, save Jonah Hill, would not be able to reprise with any more glory.
Though, for which side will you fight in the coming surfer vs. sailor wars?
A difficult choice.
*Yes, yes, we all know it is “Church” not “Church’s.”
