Russians, made moderately sad by ISA decision.

Russian surfers tell sport’s governing body to go to hell in strongly worded email following recent ban on competing, “Sport unites, does not discriminate, and cannot act as a tool of manipulation!”

“No athletes and officials from Russia will be invited to participate or attend ISA events until further notice."

What is history but one bloody thing after another?

It’s 2022 and we are still settling things by blowing each other to rags with the guns and bombs that serve the mega rich?

I sure wish we had a Swedish female special needs teenager to warn us that for the good of mankind, among other things, this is no way to behave.

And speaking of behaving, even though surfing has nothing to do with going to war against your brother man (unless you wanna go surf Snapper or maybe take longboard contests away from Joel Tudor), our beloved International Surfing association is locked in a shit fight with the Russian Surfing Federation.

Who’d a thunk it?

Firing the first salvo, the ISA is standing with Ukraine,

“No athletes and officials from Russia will be invited to participate or attend ISA events until further notice… will not consider staging any ISA events in Russia for the foreseeable future…The global surfing community is shocked and appalled by the awful act of aggression by Russia and Belarus’ role to facilitate their invasion of Ukraine…We are unequivocal in our views on this crisis and we stand in full solidarity with Ukraine and the Ukrainian people. This is a human tragedy that requires us all to take a strong stance and send a message that such violence will not be tolerated nor forgotten. The ISA’s decisions serve to ensure the safety of the public, athletes and officials, and protect the integrity of our competitions…We remain in contact with the Ukrainian Surfing Federation to offer support to the Ukrainian surf community and we hope peace is restored as quickly as possible”.

The RSF responded with its own defensive maneuver,

“Today, the Russian Surfing Federation held a meeting to discuss the position on the sanctions that all Russian athletes fell under due to the current political situation in the world. Following the Russian Olympic Committee and in support of our talented athletes, we want to note that sport cannot be politicized; sport unites, does not discriminate, and cannot act as a tool of manipulation; the exclusion of Russian athletes from international competitions is illegal and contrary to Olympic principles. For our part, we will immediately send our application to the International Surfing Federation and the European Surfing Federation in order to protect the rights of our athletes to participate in international competitions and take all possible measures to stop discrimination”.

And there you have it, the power of strongly worded emails.


Why don’t we just send in the businessmen that caused all this and have them hash it out?

Personally, I like that idea. Like the Russian-black-market-Levi’s-501-Jeans seller billionaire who just offered a million bucks to anyone that would go and arrest Putin.

Or maybe just take Putin to the Maldives and teach him how to surf?

But for God’s sake, please, keep him away from the Goldie. I can already sea Rabbit standing if front of the Russian tanks at the Kirra gazebo.

And we need Rabbit alot more than that Russian bloke.

Stunning new angle shows moment champion surfer Joel Parkinson shoves semi-adult TikToker to the ground for back-sassing after being told to not enjoy mud slide!

Raging bull.

The saga currently gripping Australia’s Gold Coast has taken yet another unforeseen turn as complete footage of “The Incident” has been released to the general public featuring the exact moment champion surfer Joel Parkinson shoves a semi-adult TikToker to the ground.

Only those living under a rock will be unaware that, days ago, Parkinson approached a group of prepubescent twenty-five-year-olds enjoying a mud slide and told them to knock it off. They appeared to back-sass kicking off a wild pell-mell where it was alleged that the Billabong star knocked a camera into the muck. Then, yesterday, news footage came to light that appeared to color the 2012 Association of Professional Surfing tour winner in a hypocritical light as he, himself, had partaken in the mud sliding earlier.

Well, in the new angle, Parkinson’s frustration is on stark display, a raging bull snorting, pawing the ground, charging at various older youngsters. Was he angry that they were dropping into his secret spot? Frustrated by the clear lack of testosterone hanging in Coolangatta’s mist?

Examine every frame here.

Dick, left, with big-wave strongman Buzzy Trent. | Photo: Hobie

Warshaw on the wild influence of gravely ill surfboard designer Dick Brewer, “He was the guru, the man on the mountain, the shaper everybody knelt down before.”

"Our first and last and greatest shaping guru."

Yesterday, news from Princeville, Kauai, that Dick Brewer, the eighty-five-year-old designer and shaper of “incredible North Shore guns” was facing his last days on earth. 

Before he climbs the golden stairway, pushes open the gilded gate and squeezes into God’s loving arms, I figured, good time to hit Matt Warshaw, he of the Encylopedia of Surfing, for a take on Dick’s wild, wild life. 

Following a series of posts from his wife Sherry warning of his imminent passing, Dick Brewer has just posted a farewell to the world on Facebook. When he does ascend to heaven, it’s gonna be a real big hole in the shaping game. For those who came in late, what did Dick Brewer bring to the table? 

Incredible guns, just Sabrejet-level equipment for North Shore surfers in the ’60s and ’70s. On top of that, and maybe even a bigger deal in terms of his place in surfing, was the Brewer character. He was the guru, the man on the mountain, the shaper everybody knelt down before. Figuratively, mostly, but I think maybe literally too!

How good are his boards? 

Tom Parrish of Lightning Bolt fame and the post-Brewer gun king, said this about Dick. “He stands alone in just about every regard. If you go back to the early ’60s and see how advanced his designs were, then add in every single change for the better, from fixing the deck rocker, to coming up with that three-stage bottom rocker, to miniguns, full guns, and much much more—there is just simply nobody who did what Brewer did. Now, here’s something else about Brewer. He was a huge natural talent when it came to design. But he wasn’t all that interested in finishing his boards nicely. Contrast that with Diff [Mike Diffenderfer], who probably shaped the most beautiful boards ever made, but who did not have that kind of innate sense. We’re splitting hairs, a little, because Diff’s boards were really good too. Nobody touched him when it came to fine sanding. But if you’re talking about pure design, then it is Brewer, hands down.”

Gimme a little background, he’s from the mid-west, yeah? Minnesota or somewhere? Split his crummy life in his twenties to become a legend in the Islands? 

Born in Minnesota but moved to Long Beach, California, with his family at age three. Dick was meant to be an engineer, like his dad and grandfather, and he worked on dragsters before surfboards. Then in 1960 he went to Hawaii for the first time, loved it, moved there for good and almost immediately was working out how to build better guns. His reputation later was for being kinda spacy, but originally and for quite a few years Brewer was coming at board design from an engineers perspective, kind of like what Bob Simmons did in the ’40s and early ’50s.

There’s conjecture on Brewer’s contribution to the shortboard revolution, when boards were losing six inches in length every session until the logs were whittled down to seven-foot blades. What’s your take? Did he simply refine what was being done by McTavish and co or was he a revolutionary? 

Brewer was already trimming down the longboard into something closer to what we’d recognized as a gun. But where he was basically improving on something that already existed, McTavish and Nat showed up with those hideous but game-changing deep-vee boards, and those things I think forced Brewer to re-think the next move. He would have got where he was going either way, but the vee-bottom sped the process up.

He had a wild, and not always happy life, junkie, infant died in a car wreck, which he survived. Can you describe that mid-seventies period? 

It’s murky. Drew Kampion’s take is probably the only one we’ll get, and I think Drew did his best, but I think the whole deal was more crippling and permanent than what we get there. Brewer was still the guy for Waimea boards, for a long time—Bugs had a big yellow Brewer in his quiver, all the way into the 1980s—but for the most part, Waimea aside, Dick wasn’t really a force after about 1973. Bolt took over the space Brewer had owned for 10 or so years prior.

Few lawsuits in there, too, yeah? What’s the juice on those? 

Drew’s article gets into all that, and again Drew I think wants to paint Dick as the victim, and maybe there is some truth to that. But my take is that Brewer was a terrible businessman. Great shaper, but not the guy you want reading and advising on the contracts.

From memory, he was pulled out of obscurity in the nineties when surfing got hit by a wild nostalgia streak and enjoyed a second wind for his harvest years. What happened there?

No, I think it was that he made some amazing tow boards for Laird Hamilton. Which makes sense, in terms of Brewer getting back to engineering high-speed equipment.

And, now, Dick ain’t here. What’s the sum of his life?

Apart from the boards being gold-standard, and apart from being our first and last and greatest shaping guru, Brewer’s contribution was to look outside of surfing. His engineering background, everything he knew about cars, about machining, about speed and drive and torque—he brought all of that to bear in the shaping room. Lucky for our sport, he wasn’t born and raised on the beach. He loved surfing best of all, but he was smart enough to look beyond surfing. To our great benefit.

(You like this? Maybe time to subscribe to Warshaw’s Encyclopedia of Surfing, yeah? Three bucks a month, can y’believe.)

Australia rocked by revelation that surfing champion and moral pillar Joel Parkinson enjoyed mud sliding hill days before castigating semi-adult TikTokers for doing the same!

Human all too human.

Heroes always rise in dark times and Australia’s Gold Coast has been experiencing such recently. The skies opened over that stretch of land and poured much water forthwith which, in turn, swelled rivers and flooded vast stretches. Millions of dollars worth of damage. Properties and fortunes washed away but heroes always rise and, in Australia, the role fell upon a surf champion.

Joel Parkinson, ASP Tour Winner 2012, made headline news, days ago, for saving many people and pets from the deluge and also, yesterday, for castigating a group of semi-adult TikTokers who were disrespecting both gravity and gravitas by sliding down a mud hill.

Well, Australia woke up this morning absolutely rocked by the revelation that sometime in between saving many people and castigating influencers, their moral pillar had, himself, partaken in the sliding.


Does Parkinson’s abject hypocrisy tarnish his reputation?

Will Gold Coast moralists forgive?

More questions than answers.

In unprecedented move, World Surf League suspends three-time world champion from all surfing events, effective immediately following, “baseless accusations of corruption and instigating social media based-attacks on the WSL and tour leadership”

Unsportsmanlike conduct, damage to surfing's image and verbal assault!

The world champion longboarder and black-belt grappler from San Diego, Joel Tudor, has been “suspended following conduct detrimental to the integrity of the WSL per the WSL Rule Book, which includes the violation of the following provisions: sportsmanlike conduct (14.02), damage to surfing’s image (14.04), and verbal assault (14.08).”

The duration of the suspension is yet to be decided. Ten days, ten years, who knows.

Ultra-purist Tudor won his third log crown five months ago, aged forty-five, when he beat the Brit Ben Skinner at two-foot Malibu. 

Tudor won his first log world title in 1998 in the Canary Islands and number two in Biarritz, 2004. 

The suspension follows a heated series of posts, interviews, with and from Tudor following a rumour, possibly started here, that the World Surf League was gonna slash cut the longboard world tour from three events to one.

Tudor was very angry and especially so after the WSL featured women’s longboarding heavily during its Pro Pipeline event.

The World Surf League commissioner Jessi Miley-Dyer subsequently wrote a letter to professional longboarders declaring that their champion, Joel Tudor, was being unhelpful and misleading”. 

“(They) want to run this fake shit about equality and inclusiveness,” wrote Tudor. “Don’t be a bunch of fucking phonies.”