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Kelly Slater survives sudden-death elimination round at Margaret River Pro; wild scenes in warm-up session as wildcard Jacob Willcox takes on Hawaiian hard-man Zeke Lau!

Ten hours of competition and four competitors eliminated, three wildcards and poor Seth Moniz.

We’ve had two days of competition at Margaret River already, three if you’re counting both men and women, more than ten solid hours of competitive surfing on the men’s side, and what are we left with?

Elimination of Jack Thomas, Ben Spence, Jacob Wilcox and Seth Moniz.

Two surfers we’ve never heard of and might not again. One whom we recognise as a previous early exiting wildcard, and poor Seth Moniz.

(See yesterday’s piece for explanation of the latter.)

The most interesting contribution that Jacob Wilcox made was “words” with Zeke Lau in the morning warm up, following a drop-in and a flicked board from Zeke.

The idea that the number of surfers in each event needs to decrease is a firmly beaten drum. I’ve always quite liked the variety of surfers, styles and talents and felt a diverse field was more interesting, but I have to concede this is dead wrong.

As surfers we venerate the stylists and the specialists, but competition is competition. Talent matters, but winning mentalities matter more.

It has also been strikingly apparent recently that the selection of wildcards needs to be better. It’s not consistent, nor effective. Some are chosen by sponsors, some by the WSL, but few are successful in heats. For the most part, you can safely pencil them in to exit at the earliest possible opportunity.

If a wildcard is to be granted let’s try and make it worthwhile. The idea of the local wildcard is lovely and romantic, but rarely lives up to the potential. Pipe specialists excepted.

Wildcards need to be chosen more carefully, more Barron Mamiya than Mikey Wright. More Jay Davies than Jack Thomas. If a wildcard is not a genuine threat they’re simply useless fodder that sucks away meaningful competition time.

So anyway, thankfully the comp starts now.

What do we think of the forecast? Conclusion of the women’s today, perhaps, followed by a couple of lay days waiting for the next swell?

More Main Break at the beginning of next week?

Or perhaps The Box this weekend?

Any Margaret River aficionados below the line please fill us in.

Regardless, it looks like waves ahead and some more key decision making for Jesse Miley-Dyer. Given recent events, they are perhaps decisions that could be decisive in whether or not she remains in a job that has looked less and less tenable.

You might say it’s make or break time. In fact, my guess is they’ll sack her anyway because it’s good TV.

What do you like in the round of 32?

The match-ups change complexion depending on where they surf, of course, and keen-eyed gamblers will be taking note of this. (Remember when Jack Robinson was matched against Filipe with the latter as a heavy favourite according to bookmakers? These are the opportunities a bold man might retire on.)

I’ll enjoy the all Aussie battler match-up between Callum Robson and Morgan Ciblic in H3. Ciblic, of course, needs the win if we’re to see him again.

Two all American boys face off in H4 in with Coffin vs Colapinto. Conner needs the victory to avoid the cut, but given recent form he must be wishing it was a spelling bee rather than a surf comp.

Italo vs Joao Chianca in H7 looks like a potential banger. Keep a close eye on this one. It’s the kind of heat where the presiding narrative might lead to some unconscious judging bias. Everyone believes Joao belongs on Tour, and Italo is the emerging villain.

What drama might we see in a close heat? Don’t be surprised if Joao pips him at the post. Stand by for more dazzling bejeweled rage in the aftermath.

I like the look of the goofy match-up with Miguel Pupo vs Owen Wright in H8. Owen needs the win. Is he a man campaigning for The Box?

Jadson needs to beat Kelly in H13 to have any chance of staying on Tour. He’s been here before. Don’t bet against him.

Then it’s a tasty battle of the power brokers in H14 with Jordy vs Zeke. Expect full rail gouges and mean mugging.

Zeke needs the win, Jordy almost as much. A quarter final defeat in Portugal is far and away Jordy’s best result of the season to date. He’s a man who should be aiming for the top and he’ll need to put his foot down quick.

I’m all in, as they say.

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Picard Madeoff

TRUE but do we really want to know what those rednecks are doing with the cream?

Capt Sensible

Jacob can get his old man to sort out the Hawaiian , he fights all his sons fights anyway.

Chibagato

Awe man. Fooled me. He still needs optics an that carbine tho.

blakey

Is JMD still dating Courtney ? If so with her still the draw isn’t that a bit of a conflict of interest ? Sort of been glossed over hasn’t it for the last couple years …

Tomas' silky smooth arms

Now this is the narrative we need!

Chazz Michael Michaels

True?

Occ Topus

Pics or it didn’t happen.

Low wide stinkbug stance

Wasnt renato hickel boning lisa anderson?

Picard Madeoff

I am always willing to pursue real world data for the benefit of mankind or womankind

Huli Opu

Waahhh, Mommy! the big bad Hawaiian flicked his board at me. He’s so scary with all his mean tattoos!

What a bunch of fuckin pussies. Grow the fuck up you pasty misogynist racist keyboard kooks. You wouldn’t last 5 minutes in Hawaii. Go suckle Rielly’s cock. This boring-ass contest could use some good beatdowns and dirty lickins.

Pauly Matt War-Shore

Racist? An arsehole is an arsehole mate. Mean tattoos? A pissy collar rocker with font so small you can’t even read it? Fuck outta here.

Pauly Matt War-Shore
Huli Opu

Zeke really occupies a large space in your mind eh Pauly? I expect better from you. Or are memes your only strong suit?

Pauly Matt War-Shore

He occupies a small space in my mind when he acts like an entitled arsehole with double standards, then I forget about him just as quickly. Not sure why you’d go into bat for him when he’s clearly in the wrong. Parochialism?

Huli Opu

Find your calm space Pauly https://uploads.disquscdn.c…

Pauly Matt War-Shore

Don’t try to de-escalate this by making me horny. It will work.

ricmatic

holy fuck he’s keen.

Huli Opu

Christ Pauly stop your edits. I can’t keep up.
I’m no fan of Zeke. He rubs even locals the wrong way and he’s not the most likeable guy but I find all the Zeke hate here funny and revealing

Bunbo

and yet, it’s not that revealing. i dislike him because he’s a petulant, crybaby dickhead. not because he’s hawaiian. spare us your silly racial hot takes, brah. do you see a lot of hate here for seth? imai? barron?

Huli Opu

Aww come’on bunbo. He’s really just a big cuddly bear who likes rainbows and cheezits. He’s been known to pet stray cats too.

Pauly Matt War-Shore

The edits are cos I’m not articulate at this time of the morning, all jacked up on painkillers and benzos.

Huli Opu

Not to worry. I hope you’re feeling better.
Negs is prolly laughing now cause I told him that I’d stop posting to BG. That didn’t last long hey

NEGATRON

Sorry I didn’t reply, But Ive had quite a few cry-time emails like yours over the years.

Huli Opu

Tell Rielly I want my frikin’ tee shirt.

Owen Wright's brains

“not the most likeable guy”… Very revealing…. racist

Chibagato

Some dem Hawaiian dudes start beleiving they as tuff everywhere else as dey is in da Islands…but even Sunny got a beatdown when he tried to road rage on some NorthSide Longos near the LBC. And I mean a beatdown and he admitted it too. Don’t need to play alpha everywhere ya go, especially in SoCal urban hoods.
Hoping Sunny gets better one day. He ended up being a good dude when you got know him. Feel bad for Schmoo’s family too.

ricmatic

Fuck yes Huli, I’m no hard guy but I love a good scrap. Surfin needs more pricks, used to be no shortage of em.

Huli Opu

Here’s some classic live Metheny from 1993 to start your day bruddah ric

ricmatic

Even when he plays gtr synth it sounds like him, rare air.

Chief Hot stuff

Shouldn’t you be bashing someone’s head in?

ricmatic

What? During my afternoon tea?

Chief Hot stuff

Yuk

Huli Opu

It’s over yer head peasant

Chief Hot stuff

Good

Occ Topus

Classic ECM jazz. Love it.

Areyou4real

sweet guitar

channelbottom

I agree that a gentlemanly açai bowl-smashing duel upon the sands would be a tip-top way to settle such matters, rather than a potential blood-letting in Noah’s realm.

TALLY HO GOOD SIR!!!!

frank

Fuck mate… using the Hawaiian mentality towards outsiders, Zeke shouldn’t have been allowed anywhere near the peak at Margs, only taking waves that the Margaret River locals followed Australians didn’t want and should have been bashed to a pulp on the sand by at lease 10 cunts after that fuckery. Hawaiians are a fucking disgrace when abroad. Aloha goes both way.

diamond chief

The tape had been zaprudered on utube. Wilcox took off on Zeke after Zeke bottom turned around cocks as he waited in the foam to drop in behind Zeke. People that do this move and then claim the wave can just fuck off in my mind. Small beating for small infraction. Did I say the right thing scary Hawaiian tough guy?

Areyou4real

🤣

Pauly Matt War-Shore

So can anyone tell us exactly what happened with Zeke and Jacob? I’m 100 percent sure that it was 100 percent Zeke’s fault, as he is 100 percent a fucken shit cunt, but I would dearly love to know the cunty story.

Pauly Matt War-Shore

So there’s a rundown on stab about it. Turns out that yes, Zeke was the shit cunt being shit.

mike m

Zeke is proud of the fact that the WSL created the “excessive hassling” rule specifically because he acts like a douche.

HandJamTurpel

do share the details

channelbottom

I refuse to go to Stub to view it. Please do share details.

david fffff

Tuesday/Wednesday finish WA time. Tuesday is way too big for Box and has some mean winds that could fall on the side of up-the-face, wednesday looks like it could be primo box conditions, buut will the WSL really run finals aka heats of consequence at The Box? I don’t know. In fact this whole write up is a complete guess, I live nowhere near Aus nor have I ever been.

janeausten

Tuesday Seabreeze calls pretty strong SSE but swell 3m [SW]…BoM say more like 5m swell, which is pretty big! Big Lefts at Mainbreak??

Heysoos

I’m hoping there’ll be some repercussions for old zekey boy. give him another reason to scowl more.

toofattosurf

h13 cabra macho v the goat…

Picard Madeoff

See above as I have a small sample size to confirm the assertion of stink free poop

Picard Madeoff

If the WSL truly wants to improve interest in competitive surfing, while dramatically increasing topline sponsor revenue, they will add a WWE style cage to the beach festivities so competitors can settle any lingering issues in the cage. Vegas and online betting(including kinky sex addict Dave Portnoy) will jump in as well!

Sell out

When you come to da islands we demand respect. We we come to your islands we show no respect. Aloha means hypocrit.

Jimmy the Saint

It was tedious viewing. The absurdity that professional surfing is going to take off on the back of a tv serious is wishful thinking at best. Sadly the surfers seem to believe that they are about to become minor celebrities, a bit like singers who get past the first audition in an American Idol type show. Only to realize later, that in the grand scheme of things they are nobodies!

Picard Madeoff

Other than that Kelvin Slattery guy can most people name a big time surfer?

Crying Jordy

Zuckerberg

Picard Madeoff

I said surfers not a tranny!

Sean Connery

Whoever I put on my fantasy team will be wrong. I just know it.

Stephen Wolfram

And Kaipo WINS the whole thing, go figure.

AlohaMyASS

Hawaiians think their shit doesn’t stink.

Picard Madeoff

Based upon some of the hottie Hawaiian(incl new local haoles) girl’s salads I’ve tossed over the years I’d say there is some truth that their poop doesn’t stink…

HandJamTurpel

Really hoping Chumbinho beats Italo and gets a result at Margs so he makes the cut. Also curious to see what (if any) result Italo’s pressure on the judges at Bells will affect the judging on such a big heat.
Can’t wait for the cut, man. All these heats is such a waste of time. The ladies 2 heats of elimination felt like it dragged on for 2 hours.

J H

I’m thinking that the coyote who attacked the kid at HB should get a permanent Wild Card.

Low wide stinkbug stance

I think you are over thinking it.

All they have to do is chop a grand total of 4 surfers from the tour.

Still allows for 2 wildcards. The sponsors demand it and its not much of a price to pay.

Instead of top 34 you make it top 30 (like it used to be!), add 2 wildcards for a 32 man field ,effectively starting in rd 3, and presto, just saved 16 pointless heats from being run.

Do this and you no longer have to run early rounds in shit because the forecast looks bad.

Stanislav Franck

You don’t even need to chop surfers. Just chop that stupid fucking 2nd round shit. It’s like little kiddy participation awards now with no elimination 1st round. Fuck that. If you come last in a 3 man heat then fuck off. That’s 12 surfers gone after 1 round.

Rd. 2 you’ve got 24 surfers. 8 x 3 man heats. More guys catching waves. Again, last place can fuck off. Another 8 cut.

20 blokes gone in 2 rounds. Problem solved.

Low wide stinkbug stance

Yeah interesting idea and i dont mind it. Your way takes 20 hrats to whittle the field down to 16, my way takes only 16 heats. 2 hours of surfing.

My way is bit of a cunt for the bottom seed. Youre basically screwed.

Stanislav Franck

Yeah I guess coz your way has fewer surfers to start with. As I said in some other post, cut the seedings as well. It’s geared against the bottom guys. Just throw ‘em all in a hat for the first 2 rounds of 3 man heats

Areyou4real

Good point

Stephen Wolfram

The gambling angle is unfortunately not available in my endlessly mocked state of Florida yet, how do I subvert this stultifying oppression?

HandJamTurpel

use a vpn and gamble somewhere else? pretty sure he’d still be illegal, but hey, you’re asking!

Chazz Michael Michaels

It’s cliched to say so, but don’t start. Not unless you have a clear-eyed perspective of your own character, you’re unemotional, patient, and disciplined.

I’ve been following the rise of sports betting in some parts of the US. America is heading for a gambling epidemic. Mark my words.

Stephen Wolfram

I deeply appreciate your concern for my well being but that should be my irrational, impulsive, irresponsible decision, not the fucking government.

janeausten

That’s wise advice…way back, I used to get 100% certainty tips [for a place] from the hookers who looked after the Jockeys. The nice man at the TAB looked me in the eye after my 3rd or 4th bet and told me he didn’t want to see me come back into his shop. One of the rare times I’ve taken good advice from an elder.

Some Guy

Play poker instead


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