OnlyFans star and brother of many-time World Surf League champion John John Florence professes appropriate admiration for prone wave riders: “As is the case with most big slabs, the bodyboarders always paddle the biggest heaviest sets of the day!”

Heroic.

But what is there not to love about Nathan Florence, brother of Olympian and many-time World Surf League John John, OnlyFans pioneer? The middle child of a now-legendary Hawaiian family has never been afraid to go his own way, carve his own path, become the professional surfer we need.

Most recently, the boy who refused to follow dirty ol’ BeachGrit’s example of openly “trashing” the world’s greatest surfer Kelly Slater, took to the largest picture/video-based social network on the channel to praise bodyboarders.

Per Instagram:

As is the case with most big slabs the bodyboarders always paddle the biggest heaviest sets of the day so sick to watch them go at it! @samthomas_ here knifing into a bomb!! Full session up on the youtube now!

The “full session” is quite something, taking place at the notorious Shipsterns Bluff, and very much worth your time.

SHIPSTERNS BLUFF HEAVY PADDLE SESSION!

But do your recall the epoch when bodyboarders or “dick draggers” or “lids” were the sworn enemies of surfers? The enmity seems silly now what with SUPs and e-foilers doing their thang and I very much agree with Florence in his assessment. So much so that I had a dream last night that I was weaving through a giant sketchy tube on my belly.

Should we all ditch pretense and just lay down?

It’d be a lot cooler if we did.

Your thoughts, please, below.

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Stick man
Stick man
4 years ago

They nailed the target demographics then being that I was around 8yrs old when it aired on ESPN… Waiting for Surfer Magazine with Matt George on Hot Summer Nights…before or after beach volleyball. Get the VCR ready…

Sellme fitzgobbins
Sellme fitzgobbins
4 years ago

Surfing starts at about halfway point

Capt Sensible
Capt Sensible
4 years ago

I rate boogers n cripples all the other shit , is well shit.

Twinnie
Twinnie
4 years ago

When will Nathan do an only fans colab with the coffee sisters? Give the audience what they really want.
Although Kai-Borg might not be so stoked…

channelbottom
channelbottom
4 years ago

Sorry I couldn’t send out more. It was a limited run of 100.
When I save up more pennies, I’ll do another batch and try to get them out again. Mebe tweak the designs of a couple.

Anthony Arturo Leone
Anthony Arturo Leone
4 years ago

*Being the enema

Anthony Arturo Leone
Anthony Arturo Leone
4 years ago

Since im the resident lid of the BG line up here’s my 2 cents you dont want to hear anyway.
The sponge has a very low barrier for entry, and i dont doubt most of you could thread a solid barrel on one, you’ll more than likely look terrible in said pursuit. Case in point theres a great clip of JOB surfing pipe on a boog with jeff hubbard. Theres a world of difference between making it and looking like you actually know what to do.
If you like getting really barreled, and you live in a place that doesnt get over head high often, get a boog. You’ll have more fun trying to make dumpy closeouts on a summer day then you will struggling to do anything that resembles a real turn on your grovel board. Thats if you can struggle to do a real turn on a HiPerf board anyway(be honest, you’ve seen clips and pics of yourself, no ones beating down your door to give you free gear…)
Also most of yall would slip a disc attempting to Dropknee, and god forbid you gave standup booging a go. If you recently purchased a midlength(cuz extra rail in turns looks good! Its definitely not because of age and lack of paddle power though) you’ll have a heart attack trying to paddle a 3’5″ finless pool noodle enough to stand on it.
If you are after a totally different waveriding sensation though the boog will bring it, and if you need help actually understanding how to use the board we’re always here to help 😉

ricmatic
ricmatic
4 years ago

you write very well for a booger.

Severed deer head
Severed deer head
4 years ago

I found a paipo under someone’s house, fixed all the dings and take it out when I’m too drunk to standup, or am too tired to rise to my feet. It’s pretty fun to airdrop into 6 footers and out run the lip at anytime, or pull in when it’s proper. Have been called out by many old timers who used to be friendly and now won’t even talk to me, so it’s a definite trade off.

Anthony Arturo Leone
Anthony Arturo Leone
4 years ago

Yeah thats the attitude, its more just really fast body surfing. But, Its always the old timers that have a word about it. Its almost like they all collectively refuse to remember the guy who started all the serious boogie hate, was sucking off pro surfers while they slept…

I also for got to mention boogs travel as a normal checked bag when you travel too. So its only $35 to throw em on a plane in a board bag

HandJamTurpel
HandJamTurpel
4 years ago

Turned 40 last year and even though I still ride my normal HP shortboards when the waves are waist high and over, last Summer I decided to put aside some of my preconceptions about certain things and decided to give other crafts a try. I found myself borrowing a longboard when the waves were small and gutless and borrowing a boog and some fins when there were some shore break closeouts.
I must admit, shit changed my Summer (which I hate) for the better.

Anthony Arturo Leone
Anthony Arturo Leone
4 years ago
Reply to  HandJamTurpel

I even grab a long board when the waves are perfect for it. Im not a believer that one craft is any better than another. Just that you want to try and maximize the fun of what you have on hand. So many times ive been frothing on little waist high spitting shorebreak a-frames with my boog, while some dude with his grovel board under arm bitches about how the surf sucks to much to even paddle. Mean while im out there sliding through baby barrels having fun. When its pumping though its a different story. The places you can put yourself on a real wave with a boogie are wild

Wiggolly's Paddling Style
Wiggolly's Paddling Style
4 years ago

Yeah I can’t lie. I still dabble in boogie boarding.

channelbottom
channelbottom
4 years ago

Just to be clear LGR, I’m upvoting you on calling out the greenwashing.

I’m genuinely all up for “ABC rights, woke agendas ” etc. It’s time the world’s old social structures got shook up a little to recognise the validity of many, many other ways of being human: skin colour, sexuality, gender identity, etc etc.

Let’s share some aloha, as cringey as that may sound to non-Hawaiian ears. Spread love, my friend.

Not trying to pick a fight. Just trying to calm some of the anger at changes that we see, and have trouble understanding as grumpy old farts. Even as a foot-stomping atheist, the Christian concept of ‘grace’ is actually one that fascinates me, as someone who has struggled with anger issues my whole life. Why be upset if someone if different, unless they are genuinely threatening you and your family (or taking all the goddam waves!!!!) ? Expanding the idea of the rights to safety and freedom does not mean the removal of one’s own liberty to the same.

But also yes, people like the WSL doing it in a sudden performative way seems like bullshit ‘woke-washing’.
They could just do it properly and let others parp a horn to highlight the way an organisation like that can change for the better.

peas

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
4 years ago
Reply to  channelbottom

Woke is hate.

channelbottom
channelbottom
4 years ago

Really? Gosh.

“The earliest known examples of wokeness as a concept revolve around the idea of Black consciousness “waking up” to a new reality or activist framework and dates back to the early 20th century. In 1923, a collection of aphorisms and ideas by the Jamaican philosopher and social activist Marcus Garvey included the summons “Wake up Ethiopia! Wake up Africa!” as a call to global Black citizens to become more socially and politically conscious. A few years later, the phrase “stay woke” turned up as part of a spoken afterword in the 1938 song “Scottsboro Boys,” a protest song by Blues musician Huddie Ledbetter, a.k.a. Lead Belly. The song describes the 1931 saga of a group of nine Black teenagers in Scottsboro, Arkansas, who were accused of raping two white women.

Lead Belly says at the end of an archival recording of the song that he’d met with the Scottsboro defendants’ lawyer, who introduced him to the men themselves. “I made this little song about down there,” Lead Belly says. “So I advise everybody, be a little careful when they go along through there — best stay woke, keep their eyes open.”

Lead Belly uses “stay woke” in explicit association with Black Americans’ need to be aware of racially motivated threats and the potential dangers of white America.”

–https://www.vox.com/culture…

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
4 years ago
Reply to  channelbottom

Gay used to mean happy
Woke is now hate and anger

channelbottom
channelbottom
4 years ago

Love ya Bexy, but I ain’t buying it.

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
4 years ago
Reply to  channelbottom

Clearly.

channelbottom
channelbottom
4 years ago

You are so very welcome my friend.

Charlie Gilreath
Charlie Gilreath
4 years ago

Fans what Who? That title makes this guy sound like….. I know a guy ….who knows a guy who dont surf but body surfs ………so! and what is your point. WHO R U AND WHAT HAVE U DONE TO SURFING. Let me guess you are all somehow related to surf line and world Surf league…..it all makes sense now ….so what are your pronouns?

Tomas' silky smooth arms
Tomas' silky smooth arms
4 years ago

Boogers are generally bigger wankers than surfers.

channelbottom
channelbottom
4 years ago

Thank goodness I’m not on the WSL mailing list!

I wonder if ELo would like some World Surf Legume stickers…?

astro
astro
4 years ago

Wait til the partners find out they’ve bought into a crock of shit pitched to them by a greenwashing snake-oil salesman. The law suits will be epic.

Eesha Williams
Eesha Williams
4 years ago

Good article.

Wiggolly's Paddling Style
Wiggolly's Paddling Style
4 years ago

When I was about 6 I reckon.

channelbottom
channelbottom
4 years ago

And now you’re glued to the ironing board. Isn’t life ironic?
Now, where’s that big delivery for the Italian restaurant? They need the pasta sauce out of the tablecloths by 4pm. Get on it.

Turtle
Turtle
4 years ago

They’re bringing to market a plastic mesh bag to collect plastic waste from coastlines worldwide. Very meta but a bit eco too. High vibe, low impact!

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
4 years ago

OOo na na, what’s his name

Beef & Beer
Beef & Beer
4 years ago

Are you softening us up for a possible coming out announcement, and that you’re permanently trading in your midlength and twinfish on a boogie board Chas ?

P.S.
Or are ya going full tilt e-foil boogie with helmet ?
(like in Otto’s video down below…)

Owen Wright's brains
Owen Wright's brains
4 years ago

Chaz,you’re a VAL. You didn’t surf during the booger craze. You’re shit.


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