Terrifying that a board can turn on its master with such ferocity.
More often than not the surfing experience is relatively sublime. A wave at a friendly face in the car park, invigorating paddle to the peak, a few fun waves wiggled and jiggled upon, a belly ride on whitewash, an amble back to vehicle et voilà. But there are, truly, many variables that can, each, go horribly askew. Being dropped in on by an unwieldy kook and speared, lost log rolling into head, shark nibbling toes, rattlesnake planning a land assault.
Surfboard fin performing seppuku.
This final horror occurred hours ago to a middle-aged Perth surfer out enjoying autumnal Yallingup, home to Taj Burrow and many fine waves.
Australia’s 9 News is reporting that sunbathers who witnessed the freak accident rushed into action, dragging the man from the water and forming some sort of tourniquet to stop severe blood loss from a severed artery under the arm or in the shoulder. He was rushed to a local intensive care unit where he was stabilized then airlifted to Perth for emergency surgery where he remains in critical but stable condition.
Very best wishes for a speedy recovery but also terrifying that a board can turn on its master with such ferocity. I’ve had my nose broken by surfboard rail before and been speared in the guts causing a light bruise and knocking the wind out but that’s it. Easy stuff. Though what is the hardest knock you’ve received from your usually trusty steed?
Nasty business.
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Thin leggie. Board never wanted to come up. Popped up backwards and fin socked me. Blind for an hour or so. Luckily eye socket took the brunt and only my eyelids were sliced.
The worst was a swallow-tail to the nuts. That had me lying in the shorewatch for about 15 minutes.
The most stitches was 7 from a fin to the outer thigh. Also notable for the doctor at Southport Hospital having to slice the hole with a scalpel to elongate the wound into a suturable gap. The last 2-3cm were un-anaestheticked.
What’s a shorewatch?
Isn’t it like a shoreCLOCK? But smaller and fits on the wrist?
Ooops. Meant to be shore wash…
Far be it for me to indulge in outrageous product placement, but this seems like the perfect safety opportunity to remind people why Hurluley Fin-Cozies are the number #1 fin-warming maintenance product in the market.
As VITAL as leash-charms, deck pad aeration spikes, nose polish, wax hair-removal tweezers and wetsuit belt tool sheaths.
Hurluley Fin-Cozies keep your fins in optimal SAFE readiness when out of the water using our patented super-unique infusion of FLSHDNCE technology
Make sure you spread the word of fin-safety by asking for HURLULEY brand fin-cozies at your local surf shop TODAY!
shit, maybe cold fins are why I’ve been surfing bad recently
Garrans Ballbarans.
Hi there Hurluley representative, I’m still waiting on my replacement Hurluley Finsey Dokeys set after my last one slipped straight off and were lost forever as soon as I turned my board back over after putting them on the fins for the first time.
Can you see it in the system at your end?
Is there anything I can do to move the process forward at my end?
I was pretty keen to get the Hurluley Finsey Dokeys on there before my Easter camping trip down the surf coast, but it looks like they won’t be here before I leave now.
EDIT: added more detail on Finsey Dokey replacement query.
Dear Mr PP.
I understand your frustration at the perception of lack of service on Hurluley’s behalf but can assure you that, in fact, without even looking into our computerical databasics that the defective product you are enquiring about is within the large decorative range of a competitor of ours; OAKTREE CAPITAL.
The Finzy-DONKEY has never been a Hurluley product, inasmuch as we feel that novelty cloth items, much less ones shaped like donkeys, have any practical use when placed over the fins of surfboards in, or out of the the water.
We have arranged for a complimentary packet of HURLULEY vinyl safety stick-on decals to be delivered to your fetid surf hovel in short order, and trust that you have good luck with the actual manufacturer of the offending item, in seeking redress.
Yours Warmly,
Etc etc.
Thankyou Hurluley representative, I appreciate your prompt response and the promise of the Hurluley branded vinyl safety stick-on decals. They will be very useful, indeed.
I could have sworn the Finsey Dokeys were a Hurluley branded item. However, I can no longer find them online and threw away the packaging before I’d put the product on the fins which was promptly lost never to be seen again.
I cannot tell you how dissapointed I am in losing said Finsey Dokeys novelty fin accessory as I had ordered the glow in the dark version and was looking forward to turning a few heads with the colour and novelty tinkling sound in the lineup.
I look forward to receiving my stickers.
Happy Easter to you and the team at Hurluley.
Regards, PP
soft tops, preferably fin free. and ONLY at patrolled locations, during business hours.
Back in the mid eighties a mate got stuck in the inside thigh by a fin (or the nose) in overhead waves at a fairly remote westcoast Auckland beach.
Lucky another mate saw him yell and get washed in, then ran almost 2 miles to the nearest phone.
I didn’t know about it (being further up the beach on a different bank) till 15 mins later when a rescue helicopter lands on the sand and flys him straight to hospital.
Was VERY close to getting his femoral artery cut and still has a gnarly scar from it…
There are two kinds of avid surfers: those who have been injured while surfing, and those who are going to be injured while surfing. That said, I hope the d00d in the story has a prompt and thorough recovery.
Very true. I feel fortunate so far to have had more “Shit. That could have been bad” situations vs. “Oh fuck. This is bad” situations.
Jeez that’s heavy. Just a reminder to anybody thinking of surfing that they absolutely should not do it. It’s lethal.
I’ve been knocked out by my board before, as per my grit listener line call. Actually just left another message with somewhat of a plot twist.
More people should heed this sage advice. In fact, more people who surf should abandon the sport immediately.
2006. Oxnard beach break in early fall.
Riding my single fin tube shooter glassed in 14oz volan with an 8″ Greenough.
Small one comes through, paddle, get to my feet, it folds over the bar and I get pitched with the lip.
Board disconnects from my feet, spirals and lands in the flats upside down.
I’m in the same position. Feet land on the slick bottom, I slide, do the splits, fin pierces into my right inner thigh.
As I plunge downward, the inertia rotates the board around the fin, and the rail tomohawks into my face.
I briefly wake up under water, pop my head up, try to call for help, but can only moan.
Next thing I know I’m on the beach on my hands and knees watching blood pool on the sand.
Buddy comes to help me, he’s a trauma ICU nurse- I don’t know where I am or what year it is.
Off to the ER to find out that in addition to loosening my teeth and severing my lower lip, I’ve fractured my zygomatic (cheek) bone (hardest bone in the body).
My thigh laceration takes 13 stitches- the ER doc feels around inside beforehand, letting me know that there’s a nick on the sheath of my femoral artery, that I was tenths of a millimeter from severing it.
I’ve got a shiner that looks like I’ve done 5 rounds with Mike Tyson.
I sold that board.
Be careful out there.
Hope he recovers fully.
Fucking fins. Can’t even count the amount of times I’ve felt my balls rising to my mouth when falling backside in the barrel, board flipping, and me going straight at the fuckers.
“Fins hey? Can’t live with ’em!”
– Derek Hynd*
*actual quote may not in fact be attributable to surfer Derek Hynd