Small/fun.
But are you ready for professional surfing once again? The sizzling torpor of Turpel, the savagery of Slater? The beauty of Bells? Oh it seems like forever since our heroines suited up in chilly Portugal to do battle with each other and with nature and against the forces of inequality.
Much happened in that forever. Joel Tudor became the first sitting champion in sporting history to become banished. The aforementioned Kelly Slater delivered an award (?) to the James Bond franchise then witnessed Chris Rock become slapped by Will Smith thereby making this face.
Back to professional surfing, though. The Rip Curl Pro Bells Beach officially kicks off in four or five days, depending of which hemisphere is called home, and it is time to think about wave quality.
The World Surf League’s official forecaster, Surfline, has been a reliable propagandist organ piping out nonsensically upbeat predictions from behind the patented Wall of Positive Noise but are there cracks beginning to form? Truth seeping out? Let’s read together.
The Surf Coast is entrenched in an extended run of modest size, mediocre surf. It looks likely the smallish surf out of the west-southwest to southwest should linger into the first day of the event window. The silver lining — at this point — is the potential for much improved conditions as persistent onshore easterly flow ripping through the Bass Strait may finally relax.
“Mediocre” has never but never been penned. And do you think there is furiousness bubbling and boiling in the halls of Santa Monica, where the Senior Vice President of Tours and Head of Competition and Chief Executive Officer of the World Surf League develop secretive plans?
The outlook also included this cute line though… “Small/fun surf on Day 1 could see event run.”
I like when “fun” is used as a suffix for “small.”
Will Pip Toledo win?
A safe bet.
The board he rode when it was big wasnt even his own board, it was Steve Robertson’s, who he’d shaped as a custom and something like the third thruster ever shaped.
If its small and a touch of wind and Fanning comes up against anyone that can pop even the most modest nose pick he is fucked.
La niña has fucked it up here on the surf coast. We keep getting easterly winds back to back. Shit wind for the whole coast except for Lorne and Lorne will still be onshore anyway and nowhere near wsl standard.
It will be small and mostly shit this year, though there is a chance of small and glassy when the wind backs off. Probably small winki with an air on the end section. Better than nothing, but pretty shit for Easter.
If they are lucky they will be able to complete the comp half a day at a time.
Maybe late in the wait period the weather will change but you wouldn’t want to chance it.
Whoa, whoa, whoa….
I was assured that severe storms, the direct result of climate change, were wreaking havoc across Oz thus creating massive surf.
What happened?
Did everyone stop using their internal combustion engines?
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
There’s still some hope
Once surfline start to include the iconic staircase, or the incredible history of the Bell in the forecast…we’ll know we are in big trouble
It really is an iconic staircase – Repeat x24 times per heat. What else will be on the Bells commentary bingo sheet?
Iconic, Natural Amphitheatre, Historic Bells, Staircase, Great Ocean Rd, Torquay being the home of the surf industry, slippery feet after crossing the rocks, Winki being a high performance wave suited to Filipe, Backhand attack(s), …. there is more I just know it.
*Edit – Tidal difference, Bells Bowl vs Rincon discussion, Coldness of water temp
1981 and the historic size, and Simon’s historic win on his historic new thruster design.
Ian Cairns and the thruster is a story I never tire of hearing
Did you know he surfed it at 20 foot…but in the final it was only 1 foot?
“Wimbledon of Surfing”
Gail Couper 10 Bells
Maurice Cole hovering on the staircase
Hells Bells anthem
Occy v Curren 85 semi
Nicky wood winning as a junior
Mick winning as a wildcard
“Local wadawarrung tribe”
1970 world titles / johanna / wayne lynch
Local surfer Adam Robertson 2nd place as a wildcard.
Knee/waist high Winki.. sick..
Make it mobile – off to Johanna, or somewhere on the more southern coast? It’s been done before. Many Statham’s bigger than what Bells/Winki is going to serve us up.
I heard Tyler Wright told JMD, ” I’d rather have a Winkipop than a tube in my Snapper.”
Bad Bells is bad but Bells/ Rincon is still a better and more high perfomance wave than sLower Trestles (The finals venue that shuts down with any size).
One can almost never go wrong with some arroz verde.
Meanwhile Snapper and the points have been pumping for about 4 months straight with no sign of letting up. Lucky it was dumped off the tour.
Can I also say the commentary booth rotation of Ronnie, Stace, Hoyo and Mitch Ross at Surfest Newcastle was absolutely top notch. Rossy in particular brought elite analysis and insight, and no bullshit all with excellent delivery. There was even periods where they just said… nothing. It was glorious.
As such I’m sure we will never see them together for a main event.
It is quite incredible, Australia full of dream waves, now only has events at Bells and Margs. Give me all expenses paid trip to either and I’ll stay home. Get yer wine and bell n stick it up ya bum.
Most consistent time of year too.. IMO.
They were great eh. Betcha it’s considered to skippy centric for the big game down at Bells though.. Handjams will be there.
Bells makes Margaret Main break seem exciting
not really…
Other way around.
In this age of cancel culture, you really have to wonder ‘just how shit does Bells have to be to get dropped from the tour?”
Throw every Brazillian spot into the “cancellable” events.
“No but it’s the oldest running conte…ZZZZZZzzzzzzZZZZZZzzzzzZZZZZZZ!”
I heard Bell got caught jerking off in front of several women without their consent.
But if he publicly apologizes he may be able to get a new Netflix deal but for now its podcast only and a tour of small venues (no cell phones allowed).
I think I’d rather they just say it’s gonna be terrible than waiting for a good swell only to the Bells bowl swallow up all that swell and give us 8 cutbacks per wave.
Just an elaborate ploy by the WSL to delay the start thereby giving Kelly time to test negative.
Move it to PI. Will save me an hour each way.
Keep that ratbag corporate shit show away thanks
Nah..they’ve already said they won’t move it.
I’m so unexcited and deflated from reading that.
Give yourself double tears ?
What a sentence….
The World Surf League’s official forecaster, Surfline, has been a
reliable propagandist organ piping out nonsensically upbeat predictions
from behind the patented Wall of Positive Noise but are there cracks
beginning to form?
As for Bells…. never any good anyway, little to no disappointment if the “bowl” never shows.
Now let’s see if the WSL remembers a similar time when the whole show was moved to Johanna and it pumped like mad?
The Liberty Bell had a crack in it too… I think it was called the ASP back then.
Not the forecast a 50 year old who got vaccinated against his own advice just so he could chase his 12th world title would be hoping for.
*increasingly elusive 12th world title
Yeah, because it’s been SO HARD to get the passport without being a lab rat. Laughing.
World Slop League