Best surfer in the world Kelly Slater, in the wings at the just-wrapped Academy Awards wherein Chris Rock became slapped by Will Smith, weighs in on imbroglio: “I was sorta looking down then looked up and the whole place just went uhhhhhhhh!”

Voice of reason.

Kelly Slater, world’s winningest surfer, gift, 50, still competing and crushing, etc. happened to find himself at the just-wrapped 94th Academy Awards if you don’t already know. He, alongside Tony Hawk and Shaun White, halfpipe skateboarder and snowboarder respectively, to give an award (?) to the James Bond franchise.

Well, as you know or should know, that 94th Academy Awards went haywire after actor-cum-rapper Will Smith charged the stage in order to slap CB4 star Chris Rock across the mouth sending an entire industry reeling.

Slater was right there, in the wings apparently, and so what was his take?

I won’t spoil.

Kelly Slater on the Dan Patrick Show Full Interview | 03/29/22
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JohnsKnees
JohnsKnees
4 years ago

DP: “Who was the coolest person you’ve met?”
Kelly: Myself

samwaters
samwaters
4 years ago

Somewhat true grasshoppa, I bodysurfed before getting a junk of fiberglass, and yes, agreed. the Ego is a dead end.

Low wide stinkbug stance
Low wide stinkbug stance
4 years ago

La niña really fucking with the surf in Vic, even the one spot on the coast that has surf in an easterly has shit sand and theyd never move Bells there anyway.

Pick your fantasy surfers who can perform in small onshore slop.

Tomas' silky smooth arms
Tomas' silky smooth arms
4 years ago

This is pretty low for you Chas. Can you go any lower?

Tomas' silky smooth arms
Tomas' silky smooth arms
4 years ago

When is fucken Bells and also where is Wiggs?

channelbottom
channelbottom
4 years ago

The one having the moist plum?

samwaters
samwaters
4 years ago

The best surfer in the world is Kelly Slater?
I think you meant the most decorated.
We know who the best surfer in the water really is……

channelbottom
channelbottom
4 years ago
Reply to  samwaters

The one having the most fudge?

Uh… wait..

One of of the mums with the won ton!

No no that’s not it.

The one in the bum and two in the…
No no

Wait wait.. don’t tell me.

The one huffing the most jenkem?

Mmm. I’m CLOSE though, am I not?!?

Now… let’s see…
‘The best surfer in the water, is…’

The one having the most of yer mum!

…?!!?!

Capt Sensible
Capt Sensible
4 years ago
Reply to  samwaters

One with a gun

NEGATRON
NEGATRON
4 years ago

Who is Dan Patrick? actually I don’t think I need to know.

channelbottom
channelbottom
4 years ago
Reply to  NEGATRON

Pretty sure he’s related to Sponge Bob’s best pal.

channelbottom
channelbottom
4 years ago

Q: What’s Jada’s favourite Sisters Of Mercy song?
A: Alopecia My Reflection

Beef & Beer
Beef & Beer
4 years ago
Reply to  channelbottom

Top class
Both song, and witty observation…

Low wide stinkbug stance
Low wide stinkbug stance
4 years ago
Reply to  channelbottom

More?
And i need all the hair i can get

Beef & Beer
Beef & Beer
4 years ago

“The slap heard around the world”

Maybe the whole thing was staged by an old surf writer with Hollywood neighbours in Malibu…

Stick man
Stick man
4 years ago
Reply to  Beef & Beer

Runman?

Pauly Matt War-Shore
Pauly Matt War-Shore
4 years ago

What a movie though. Do ya’llselves a favour.

https://uploads.disquscdn.c…

Waterproof Polo
Waterproof Polo
4 years ago

“Crazy motherfuckka named Gusto, I’ll fuck ya wife cause the bitch is a big ho. I’d fuck ya sister, I’ll fuck ya cat, I wouldn’t fuck ya Mum’s cause the bitch is too fat”
Best bars ever rapped by non rappers.
*edited* I remembered the gusto bit

bob
bob
4 years ago

That was cold blooded. Great movie.

Swell Direction
Swell Direction
4 years ago

One of Charlie Murphy’s many great performances. RIP
What did the five fingers say to the face? SLAP!

Uneducated
Uneducated
4 years ago

I believe that now this represents the fifth or so article on slapgate, the presence of the great man has now officially landed the academies as surf adjacent

Do you think the prestigious badge ought be renamed “dont slap me Will”?

Pauly Matt War-Shore
Pauly Matt War-Shore
4 years ago
Reply to  Uneducated

I’m still confused as to what the don’t hit me Parko badge is all about, and why so many of us have them. NEGATRON?

Waterproof Polo
Waterproof Polo
4 years ago

People that might have pissed off the surfing establishment? One must not speak ill of the starz!

ValiantScorn
ValiantScorn
4 years ago

Use your memes instead of words…..

Pauly Matt War-Shore
Pauly Matt War-Shore
4 years ago
Reply to  ValiantScorn
Derek Hynd's Missing Fins
Derek Hynd's Missing Fins
4 years ago

LOL. Thanks.

Uneducated
Uneducated
4 years ago

Thats a reason why a dont slap me will is a good option, to bring clarity

Its either for a comment abusing another posters family members
Or posting really lame attempts at humour

NEGATRON
NEGATRON
4 years ago

It was a “dont hit me Koby” badge in regards to certain writers avoiding covering Koby Abberton stories.
Then I changed it and dished a few out after pushy Parko starting getting physical over the muddy hill. Seemed funny at the time.

channelbottom
channelbottom
4 years ago
Reply to  Uneducated

I started hearing Queen after reading that.

DON’T SLAP ME WILL!
I’M HAVIN’ A GOOD TIME!


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