History’s most decorated surfer Kelly Slater either contracts Covid at just-wrapped Academy Awards or delivers most exquisitely subtle April Fool’s joke of all-time: “This was my gift from the Oscars.”

Funny or cough.

What praise can be heaped upon Robert Kelly Slater that hasn’t already been said, written, sang? The world’s most historically decorated surfer, holding eleven championship tour trophies alongside numerous Pipeline Masters, one Pro Pipeline and at least one Eddie, is a once-in-a-lifetime phenomenon the like our children’s children will be lucky to experience.

Aside from surfing talent, though, Slater is a master at sleight of hand, perpetually keeping fellow competitors, fans and followers, plus blocked followers, perpetually off balance. Who could forget when he accidentally stumbled into the Billabong House to act weird in front of Andy Irons before their Pipeline showdown. Accident? On purpose? The world will never know. Or when he introduced his must-see-to-believe wave pool technology minutes after Adriano de Souza won the 2015 professional surfing campaign thereby erasing the effort. Or when he quit Quiksilver, the company with which he had been inextricably tied, on April Fool’s Day thus having a laugh out the door.

Speaking of April Fool’s Day, it came and went hours ago. The Inertia made a funny about the WSL starting a midlength world tour. Get it? Slater took to Instagram to declare that he contracted Covid-19 at the just-wrapped Academy Awards where he presented an award (?) to the James Bond franchise alongside Tony Hawk and Shaun White.

Slater’s tango with Covid has been well-documented and, after the opening Hawaiian leg of the World Surf League’s Championship Tour all but admitted that he had been vaccinated against the disease.

If his positive result is, in fact, true how do you think it will affect his run at the Rip Curl Pro Bells Beach, set to kick off in around a week?

More importantly, who will bring him bone broth?

More as the story develops.