Winning time.

Is the confetti out of your hair, yet, after celebrating the winds of political change a’ blowin’ through Australia or is it still there dusting your crown, bejeweling your pillow? Exciting, in any case, and nothing better than waking up in the morning after a big night, sliding feet into slippers, torso into linen robe, heading downstairs to French press a cup of dark roast coffee then retreating straight back up to bed, New York Times tucked under arm, coffee in hand.

The good life.

And this morning, celebrants will be treated to a loving profile of the big wave bodysurfer from Brazil Kalani Lattanzi. The twenty-eight-year-old was made very famous, to our watery kind, for bodysurfing Jaws. Living legend Kelly Slater, who needs absolutely no introduction, called it “one of the greatest rides in the surf world.”

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A compliment without parallel.

Lattanzi, who, has bodysurfed giants in Puerto Escondido, Arica and Nazare to name but a few, told the paper of record, “When I started bodysurfing, I wondered if it was possible for someone to bodysurf a big wave. Then I started to grow up and I realized, ‘OK, I am the one who is going to do this.’”

The story continues:

Lattanzi prepares like a professional athlete in order to meet the demands of his niche. He eats clean and cross-trains, lifting weights and doing yoga in order to sustain the many hours of swimming, negotiate huge waves and withstand their impact. He now has his sights set on Mavericks, a notoriously dangerous wave in Northern California that can reach heights over 60 feet, which he hopes to tackle this year.

“It takes a real tranquil mind. It takes incredible strength. Incredible lungs. Aqua Gorilla is what we all call him because he’s so strong in the water,” (fellow big wave bodysurfer Ryan) Masters said. “He’s the ultimate waterman.”

When Masters tried to conquer Mavericks in 2016, he bruised a lung, fractured his neck, broke his collarbone and seven ribs, and was airlifted to Stanford Hospital. “Mavericks is just a different animal that’s unlike any wave on the planet,” Masters said. “It’s incredibly savage.”

After much Gray Lady discussion about the savagery etc., surfing’s finest and only historian Matt Warshaw is contacted and declares, “It looks so much scarier, not having a board, but if you’re a strong swimmer, and have fins on, and know the lineup and have a high degree of big-wave knowledge, you’re better off than being on a board with no fins.”

It looks a lot harder than it is? Way to take the air out of the room, Warshaw. Sheesh.

Read the rest here.

Derek Ho severed a tendon on a drainer, Slater toyed with 10-foot double-ups, Machado and Egan surfed one of the highest scoring heats ever.

If you follow my eponymous, sporadically intriguing surf nostalgia account @surfads on Instagram you would have seen a few recent posts celebrating the Quik G-Land ‘97 Pro.

That infamous, pre-internet jungle slam that cooked up one of the most memorable CT events of all time.

Up there with Bells in ‘81, Pipe in ‘95, Mexico in ‘05 or Fiji in 2012. An entire competition window blessed with primo swell at one of the best waves in the world. A draw sporting names like Tom Carroll, Vetea David, Martin Potter, Rob Machado, Mark Occhilupo, Rizal Tanjung, Matt Hoy, and eventual winner Luke Egan.

All documented by Dick Hoole, Don King and the brothers Carroll with a nineties Handycam.

 

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Fucken nuts.

Indonesia in 1997 was a wild time, man.

The county was smashed by the ‘97 Asian financial crisis. The political situation tidak bagus. After decades of autocratic rule the US-backed strongman President Suharto was finally coming undone. A swelling of democratic support not seen since the days of Sukarno had the country on a knife edge.

Set to that backdrop, it’s a miracle the comp even went ahead.

The current WSL and its abundance of caution wouldn’t go near that shit with a ten-foot selfie stick if it was going down today.

But, to quote surf journalism doyen Nick Carroll, this was a time when companies had cool ideas and sorta just did ‘em. Pre internet. Pre long-range forecast. No worries.

The Indian Ocean wasn’t paying any attention to domestik politik either. For two weeks, Grajagan was soaked with waves ranging from “very good” to “call the wife and kids, tell ‘em I ain’t coming home.”

 

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Derek Ho severed his patellar tendon on a Speedies drainer before the comp even started. Slater toyed with ten-foot double-ups like it was two-foot Macaronis. Machado and Egan surfed one of the highest scoring heats of all time. Fourteen ten-point rides dropped across the comp in total.

Egan bulldozing the lot to take his maiden ‘CT win.

Watch these clips.

 

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Tell me how much tube riding technique has progressed in the last quarter century. How many of these surfers would hold a candle to the current crop.

Or still do, in Slater’s case.

The VHS released to surf shops worldwide later that year sold for $9.95 a pop, and instantly became a cult classic for those who got a hold of it. Easily in my top three movies of all time.

For a long time the film, only ever released on VHS, lay dormant.

In the ensuing years its legend only grew. But Quiksilver have recently digitised the movie and pulled together some of the primo clips you see here.

Dunno if it’s gonna be made publicly available but good on ‘em regardless.

We all know how the rest of the song goes.

Suharto finally fell in early ‘98 and the subsequent comp was canned by Quik (another story in itself).

The wave fell off the tour completely until its recent Covid-delayed resurrection.

So how’s the 2022 redux gonna compare?

The forecast for the comp window is looking promising, though as Swellnet points out, tidewise it’s been planned on the wrong side of the lunar cycle, and the wrong time of the day. Grajagan wants as much tide as you can get, preferable around early afternoon.

Most of the window falls on early morning, low new-moon highs.

But still, it’s hard to miss at G Land.

A new, leaner CT.

Plus Gabby.

Plus chicks.

It’s gonna be an instant classic, right? Right?

Inspirational.

In these slower surf news days, I find myself drawn like a moth to Kelly Slater’s instagram profile. The world’s most recognized surfer has won 11 titles, starred in movies, presented awards at the Oscars and eviscerated the globe’s richest man Elon Musk. He is also a social media master, never afraid to share opinion or spar with others.

Now, of course I am blocked from his instagram profile, like many others, but when there’s a will there’s a way and my will to observe Kelly Slater in the wild is great.

Thus, today, I clicked over and while there were no new postings or stories, his biography had changed, merely reading “Paruresisist.”

“Paruresisist?” I wondered, having never encountered the word before, and quickly searched it up.

Paruresis, as it turns out, is a social phobia that involves a discomfort, or inability, to urinate in front of, or near, others.

Per Australia’s Better Health resource:

A person with paruresis (shy bladder syndrome) finds it difficult or impossible to urinate (pee) when other people are around. Paruresis is believed to be a common type of social phobia, ranking second only to the fear of public speaking. Paruresis is often first experienced at school. The condition affects men and women of all races. In mild cases, paruresis is an occasional event, like a form of performance anxiety. For example, a man at a public urinal may find that he is unable to urinate when flanked by other men. In severe cases, a person with paruresis can only urinate when alone at home. The condition is also known as ‘avoidant paruresis’, ‘psychogenic urinary retention’ and ‘pee-phobia’.

Wow.

The fact that such an accomplished professional surfer is so open about what may be considered embarrassing is wonderful, no? But do you suffer “pee-phobia” as well? Will Slater’s bold declaration free you to admit that it’s ok? That you are not only among others but great others? Or do you toil under the invisible yoke of some other syndrome like nomophobia or plutophobia that you will now be willing to publicly embrace?

Inspirational, in any case. Inspirational and uplifting. Kelly Slater the Cesar Chavez of paruresisists.