Teal Ocean (pictured) mid disturbing sentence. Kaitlin Armstrong i.e. "Irie" picture in picture.
Teal Ocean (pictured) mid disturbing sentence. Kaitlin Armstrong i.e. "Irie" picture in picture.

Ex-pat surf instructor who unknowingly dated fugitive yoga instructor accused of murder shares lurid details of love on the run: “She always wanted to go to real secluded places…”

Beyond lurid. Macabre.

Now you may, or may not, remember the saga of Kaitlin Armstrong, which was told to you here two weeks ago. For those short of memory, or partying with Pete, Armstrong was a yoga instructor in love with a bicycling man. A professional bicycling woman and the aforementioned man had a relationship, Armstrong allegedly became jealous, shot and killed woman then disappeared after being questioned by police officers.

She eluded authorities for weeks until they stumbled upon her teaching SUP yoga in Costa Rica and brought her home for trial.

Catch up here.

New details on hunt for Kaitlin Armstrong | Nightline

Today, the scene takes a lurid twist as an ex-pat surf instructor living in Costa Rica admitted to dating Armstrong whilst she was on the run. Teal Ocean, middle-aged with that particular “middle-aged ex-pat surf instructor” flair, shared intimate details in a to-camera interview with the Austin American-Statesman (watch here).

I knew her as Irie, I don’t really know Caitlin or the face, that you see in the paper. Ari was a strange person. I met her right outside the tattoo shop, her friends were getting tattoos. I was outside there having a beer and a lounge and it became apparent she wanted to have a conversation with me so we did have a conversation and exchanged phone numbers.

We end up hanging a bunch of times later. She said she had just been through a real traumatizing break up and wasn’t ready to get close at all so we were just being friends. She wanted to go out to different places, we went out to a few different spots, but most the time she wanted to be at secluded spots with not a lot of people. I didn’t put any of it together, I couldn’t imagine it but after it all went by and I hear what she was really doing and why she was running it made sense why she didn’t want to be seen, why she wanted to go to real secluded places… It all kinda made a little more sense.

They were using the old pictures and I was, like, “I don’t know her,” but then they did the updates where she had her face lift or face change and I was, like, shocked. Like, “What? That’s who I’ve been hanging out with this whole time?” And, yeah, it sucks for the family who lost their daughter and that’s really not cool. I feel for them but I didn’t get to meet that person, either. The person I met was Irie, not Kaity.

Teal Ocean, Irie, yoga, SUP yoga, friends getting vacation tattoos in tropical climates, likely hair braids at some point and henna, unshod feet with toes fat and wide, a sliver-plated toe ring straining around one of them, hemp shorts, reggae, ex-pat surf instruction…

Beyond lurid.

Macabre.

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TJBurke
TJBurke
4 years ago

I think this is the woman who helped me heal myself through color breathing… slow breathing in while imagining your inhaling breath as a color, then breathing out, imagining the exhales as another color. Amazing. Pink and green, are the most healing colors. I hear red doesn’t work, tho.

Some Guy
Some Guy
4 years ago

Teal Ocean, Irie, yoga, SUP yoga, friends getting vacation tattoos in tropical climates, likely hair braids at some point and henna, unshod feet with toes fat and wide, a sliver-plated toe ring straining around one of them, hemp shorts, reggae, ex-pat surf instruction…

Beyond lurid.

Macabre.

Quite possibly the best thing I’ve ever read from you ol Chaswick

StarJamma
StarJamma
4 years ago

Is this like Fatal Attraction with a little bit of In Search of Captain Zero? Just flying back from Costa Rica today and …..man, Trustifarinism is laughably widespread there.

Some Guy
Some Guy
4 years ago
Reply to  StarJamma

Place has gone to complete shit. First time I went there in 1992 it felt like paradise and seems its been all downhill since

StarJamma
StarJamma
4 years ago
Reply to  Some Guy

That’s what happens to paradise- we ‘find’ it and we warp it to our desires and needs.

Boat Docks
Boat Docks
4 years ago

The Sup/Yoga charges will get her 20 years alone

Stanislav Franck
Stanislav Franck
4 years ago

Haha awesome. The great mystery to me is that they all go to each other’s gatherings and classes and retreats and detox parties and just go round in circles paying each other.

Whenever I ask the ones in Oz where they actually get the money from before they spin it round the wellness table attendees, it doesn’t take too long to dig it out – the fucking dole!

Some Guy
Some Guy
4 years ago

My fav is the usage of the “universe” as some sort of quasi spiritual guide…”I felt like the universe was telling me to (fill in the blank)…on the same level as mommy blogs and influencers, the lowest common societal denominator. Chas summed it up really well…

Teal Ocean, Irie, yoga, SUP yoga, friends getting vacation tattoos in tropical climates, likely hair braids at some point and henna, unshod feet with toes fat and wide, a sliver-plated toe ring straining around one of them, hemp shorts, reggae, ex-pat surf instruction…

Beyond lurid.

Macabre.

Stanislav Franck
Stanislav Franck
4 years ago

The whole wellness scam is just an extension of the health sham. The opportunistic parasites who once cashed in on “6-packs in 6 minutes” and “20 kilos off and still drink 20 beers” have now just moved on to “inhale your way to inner peace in 4 breaths a day”.

Along the way they’ve been joined by 20 and 30 somethings who claim ADHD and authentic lives in the same sun salutation coz they were too lazy, dumb, or both to get decent qualifications. They get some shit certificate from some shit, non-accredited institution and then move to Bali to be their best selves – and charge you $500 for an online course on finding the true you.

Every yoga and meditation teacher I know is highly strung, neurotic, divorced and/or 50 and never married.

TJBurke
TJBurke
4 years ago

Fucking love this. Deeply wise.

Stanislav Franck
Stanislav Franck
4 years ago

Costa Rica sounds like the Bali of the Americas – a place where people with absolutely no qualifications except for a PhD in narcissism and self-love go teach “wellness” to others.

Yoga instructors with dodgy certificates from Bob’s Yoga School whose understanding of yoga stops at “downward dog, breathe”. Surf instructors whose claim to fame is 7,534 TikTok views on their “perfecting your pop-up” video. And “content creators” who consider filming themselves walking down the street in sepia as highbrow influencing.

How dirty would you be if you set up shop in either 30 years ago?

The Bitchy Crab
The Bitchy Crab
4 years ago

I get the impression that you and your wife are fat and out of shape.
So bitter towards healthy and hot chicks.
Very sad

Spinafex
Spinafex
4 years ago

That’s weird, she didn’t get charged with teaching SUP Yoga

ValiantScorn
ValiantScorn
4 years ago

Bad girl! I hope little buddy was sure to punish her a little bit. You know, the girl he met…”Irie”.
I LOVE this story, because I HATE road bikes!

Gil Gunderson
Gil Gunderson
4 years ago

Thoughts and prayers 🙏

RQ.
RQ.
4 years ago

Teal Ocean & Irie.
amazing!
i imagine there was some weaved in dreadlocks involved at some stage of this one.

Stick man
Stick man
4 years ago

Sounds like The Ultimate Surfer II auditions…

@surfads
@surfads
4 years ago

Pura Evader

Manuka
Manuka
4 years ago

Kill, prey, love.

Stick man
Stick man
4 years ago
Reply to  Manuka

Nam-I-cant-stay…I’m on the run.

Stephen Wolfram
Stephen Wolfram
4 years ago

Faack I was near there when this went down! We stayed in Playa Hermosa and Montezuma though, Santa Teresa is waaay to expensive now, apparently the Israeli and Russian mafia is buying up everything available.

The Bitchy Crab
The Bitchy Crab
4 years ago

Wow, when I was there twenty years ago, Theresa was mostly hippies camping

Some Guy
Some Guy
4 years ago

Nobody there 30 years ago

Picard Madeoff
Picard Madeoff
4 years ago

What this article missed is Teal, YES Teal is a legendary goofy foot Zen master surfer who also hunts shrooms in the jungle. And I believe it was the immortal John Winger who once said “I want to party with you cowboy” while talking to Teal back in the day…

Occ Topus
Occ Topus
4 years ago

I’ll bet Kaitlin is a wild ride. The cray cray ones usually are.

Picard Madeoff
Picard Madeoff
4 years ago
Reply to  Occ Topus

So true until you break up with them and they bite you, smash a picture on your wall, break off the rear view mirror on your car or worse yet kill your new love interest.

Some Guy
Some Guy
4 years ago
Reply to  Picard Madeoff

And cook your rabbit…

https://www.youtube.com/wat…

Picard Madeoff
Picard Madeoff
4 years ago
Reply to  Some Guy

She would have done so had I owned a rabbit

The Bitchy Crab
The Bitchy Crab
4 years ago
Reply to  Occ Topus

Dude scored.
And lived to tell

John Non John
John Non John
4 years ago

When NonJohn is lord god, wellness surfers with names like Teal Ocean will be banished to the inland forever. Very far inland.

Stick man
Stick man
4 years ago
Reply to  John Non John

LOL

Derek Hynd's Missing Fins
Derek Hynd's Missing Fins
4 years ago

Wiggs will pleasure himself to this story at least 20x.


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