Kunis (in Aqua Lung) with husband and dog.
Kunis (in Aqua Lung) with husband and dog.

Hollywood starlet Mila Kunis puts throwback Malibu, Byron longboarders to absolute shame; goes “full retro” by riding a paipo board in a scuba diving wetsuit!

Bold and brave.

Rétrospectif has been part of surfing’s various offerings since Joel Tudor sprang on the scene riding old longboards the way Miki Dora intended for them to be ridden. Before then, high-performance longboarding was a thing, with thick-thigh’d men bottom turning, bashing the lip, floating 9 foot fluorescent slabs of foam. Tudor, though, nimbly danced to the nose, twirled, drop-knee turned and, thus, a movement was born.

Now we have leashless longboards crowding lineups from Malibu to Byron, non-fluorescent, captained by shaggy hair’d boys in trim Birdwell trunks. Thick flat fishes, fins glassed on, piloted by sun-kissed girls wearing short-johns, gliders, single-fins, etc.

It could be argued that retro is more common than à la dernière mode but up to a certain point. Surfers are pack animals, preferring to operate within defined spaces. Tudor and his ilk established a certain era as ok of imitating but no surfer has yet gone “full retro” until now.

Mila Kunis, very famous actress and wife of Ashton Kutcher was recently spotted on a Santa Barbara beach wearing a scuba diving wetsuit, riding a paipo board. For those unaware, the paipo was ridden by ancient Hawaiians as a sort of proto-bodyboard. One has not been seen in public since and scuba wetsuits were worn by cold water surfers before Jack O’Neill fixed the wrong bits in the early 1950s.

Someone going “full retro” has been whispered about for years, though most throwback surfers are extremely scared and wondered if a return is ever possible? If he or she would be forever trapped in archaic times with no way back, stuck in the deep past even if the deep past becomes uncool with everyone back to thrusters etc.

Tropic Thunder (5/10) Movie CLIP - Never Go Full Retard (2008) HD

Kunis, though, a bold pioneer. Shaking it off and not caring.

The new Joel Tudor.

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The Ben Marcus Fan Club
The Ben Marcus Fan Club
4 years ago

Ben Marcus could show her how it was really done, back in the 70’s in Santa Cruz.

Wotusay
Wotusay
4 years ago

Hotness supersedes most faults. This is a True Fact of Nature. Mila is hot and, therefore, whatever.

Axel pose
Axel pose
4 years ago

If she’s just using whatever equipment was available after crashing at a friend’s from a late night, then she’s in the club. If it was a planned attire as article suggests then she is not in the club. Also can I join said club?

toaster redux
toaster redux
4 years ago

Bless her

Beef & Beer
Beef & Beer
4 years ago

On a slightly similar subject.

Hey Chas, how come ya didn’t have a live comments page for your long-lost relatives royal funeral ?
The whole day event was reportedly far better viewing than most wOsl comps, and would’ve definitely had more than 8 million genuine viewers.
I wonder if ELo was watching…

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
4 years ago
Reply to  Beef & Beer

Way better than a BLM march.

toofattosurf
toofattosurf
4 years ago

white deaths matter…

tim_nelsen
tim_nelsen
4 years ago

If she slips out of the dive suit and wears a bikini, I’d let Mila drive my car: Hennessey Venom F5

https://static1.hotcarsimag…

Stick man
Stick man
4 years ago
Reply to  tim_nelsen

100 Milas per hour!

tim_nelsen
tim_nelsen
4 years ago
Reply to  Stick man

gas, grass, … not even she rides for free. well? NOT!

Occ Topus
Occ Topus
4 years ago

“Full Retro”?
A no-name Pacific Islander bodysurfing hollow shore-pound in trunks (or bikini) puts Mila in her ugly wetsuit and crap board to shame.

Sean Connery
Sean Connery
4 years ago

Nothing says bottom dweller quite like starting and upkeeping a non official celebrity insta account. People are so fucken pathetic.

Jimmy the Saint
Jimmy the Saint
4 years ago
Reply to  Sean Connery

What about Beach Grit?

Picard Madeoff
Picard Madeoff
4 years ago

Can we really drag her as she seems cool, regardless of who she chose to marry? Now the reality is this, she is the prototype of the new boss of the lineup, fearless, uncaring of what she rides(see above comment about hubby) the waves on or what she wears. She’ll run you over, cut your head wide open with an attitude that says “I’m cute, you’re not” so deal with it. And who would smash her board other than the unemployed realtor dude in Malibu or a few old school cunty enforcers?

Gwen Walz’s Eyes
Gwen Walz’s Eyes
4 years ago
Reply to  Picard Madeoff

She is scorching hot

Greebnurt Hurkurmurgurt
Greebnurt Hurkurmurgurt
4 years ago

Yes, those Czech girls are pretty hard to resist.

Chas Smith
Chas Smith
4 years ago
Reply to  Picard Madeoff

Zero dragging! She’s taking the place of Jonah and Queen of Malibu!

Picard Madeoff
Picard Madeoff
4 years ago
Reply to  Chas Smith

More articles about Mila will surely increase viewership! Surely you can facilitate Mila’s sponsorship with Roxy for a proper wetsuit?

tim_nelsen
tim_nelsen
4 years ago
Reply to  Picard Madeoff

“Baby you can drive my car…” (see above or below)

Cannabis-Creativity
Cannabis-Creativity
4 years ago
Reply to  Chas Smith

Mila’s replacing Jonah (and Gidget). Jews replacing Jews. Is this what the right calls Replacement Theory?

tim_nelsen
tim_nelsen
4 years ago
Reply to  Picard Madeoff

The Queen, The Prince, The Actress, The Butler, The Magistrate, MI6, Bond? Mila…

Picard Madeoff
Picard Madeoff
4 years ago
Reply to  tim_nelsen

Not necessarily in that order. What about Morrissey and John Lydon?

tim_nelsen
tim_nelsen
4 years ago
Reply to  Picard Madeoff

jim morrison: “Mother…I want to…this is the end…”


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