Big Kahuna Larry Ellison (pictured).
Big Kahuna Larry Ellison (pictured).

World’s ninth richest man Larry Ellison shuts public out of Hawaii isle beach, scoffing at law and thrilling wealthy wellness pals, as fears of U.S. transforming into full plutocracy grow stronger!

Land of the rich, home of the rich.

The United States is made up of three men. Jeff Bezos, Elon Musk, Bill Gates. Larry Ellison, founder of Oracle and worth some 96.8 billion dollars, might be considered part of the “qualifying series” along with Mike Bloomberg, Jim Walton, Mark Zuckerberg and the ghost of Warren Buffett.

All fine and good, I suppose, except not assuaging the growing fear that the land of the free, home of the brave is actually just a plutocracy ruled for, and by, rich men.

Dumping gas on the fire, Ellison recently flaunted Hawaiian law by shuttering public access to a beach on the isle of Lanai. The New Yorker, with suspiciously tiny eyes, purchased 98% of the “pineapple island” in 2012 and his reign has not been without controversy. He has been accused of forcing families who have called the Lanai home for generations to pack their bags and vamoose and also wants to turn it into a “wellness utopia.”


More immediately, though, the beach closure. According to San Francisco Gate:

In Hawaii, public access to beaches and shorelines is required by law, but exceptions were made for Lanai Resorts at the height of the COVID-19 pandemic. The company received permission from the County of Maui to add a metal gate at the entry to the beach park, which it owns, at a time when the governor ordered the closure of all beaches.

Conditions of this agreement included that the gate be open at all times, day and night, and it should only be closed during “severe weather emergencies or emergency proclamations.”

The gate was shut from July 16, according to community Facebook posts, through July 28, after a historic swell flooded the park. A Lanai Resorts spokesperson told Civil Beat that pedestrians could walk around the gate when it was closed, but large boulders scattered to the sides of the road prevented vehicles from going around.

Covid closures, man. How do you think they are aging?

A great idea that kept us all safe or… not?

More as the story develops.

"Last night a little dancer, she came dancing to my door Last night, that little angel, she came pumping on my floor."
"Last night a little dancer, she came dancing to my door Last night, that little angel, she came pumping on my floor."

California superstar Kolohe Andino eviscerates Olympics with wild rebel yell: “Being honest… I think the Olympics are stale and boring and surfing is the best sport in the world!”


Students of competitive professional surfing know that the game extends far beyond our World Surf League and its Championship Tour. There is, also, the Challenger Series, Qualifying Series, Junior Tour and International Surfing Association World Surfing Games, to name but a few thrilling iterations.

There is also, of course, Olympic surfing introduced last year in Japan and set to roll out in 2024, 2028 and likely 2032 as the Games will be in Teahupo’o, Los Angeles and Brisbane, all surfing hubs. But you would imagine surfing gold the very height of achievement? Would you imagine surfing so lucky to be included?

According to California superstar, and current number twenty in the world, Kolohe Andino, f*ck no and, frankly, the other way around.

In a shockingly frank interview ahead of the aforementioned World Surf Games, currently underway in Huntington Beach, Andino unleaded a rebel yell:

“Being honest, more than surfing needs the Olympics, I think the Olympics needs surfing. I think the Olympics are pretty stale and boring and that surfing is the best sport in the world. You add surfing to the Olympics, I think more people will watch it.”


He followed a question from Pete Townend if he would attempt to qualify for the Olympics again and quickly answered, “100%. That’s like asking if the sun is going to come up tomorrow.”

Andino was subsequently defeated by Huntington Beach’s own Kanoa Igarashi, surfing for Japan, in the quarterfinals but, man.

Stale and boring?


Tributes flow for Hawaiian surf-skate prodigy Kalani David, dead at twenty-four, “RIP brother Kalani, you were always such an inspired and stoked Grommet, through all that life threw at you you kept your head up”

"Miss you brother. Rest in paradise."

In a perfect world, the story of Kalani David, son of American David David and Costa Rican Maureen Rojas, would’ve ended in a world title or some sorta equivalent triumph. 

As it is, was, Kalani’s life, living with a chronic health condition that would eventually kill him, demonstrates, as if any demonstration was necessary, the chaos and randomness of our existence. 

His biological mama Maureen was sixteen when she had Kalani, seeded when Daddy David was living in Central America.

Flooded with sponsor cash by RVCA as a kid, Kalani was touted as the world’s first genuine crossover surfer, skater.

When he was eighteen, Kalani’s heart stopped while skating in Oceanside, California, tests determining the kid was suffering from  Wolff-Parkinson-White Syndrome, where an extra muscle forms on the heart causing its wild revving

Doctors told him he was living on a knife’s edge, that he could die anytime. And if it happened in the surf, ain’t nothing he could do. He’d drown. 

In January 2017,  doctors opened the kid up to try and fix the prob.

Before the op, Kalani wrote,

“Getting my surgery done today, but I have one thing to say before his happens… The doctor said I’m lucky to even be alive after seizing for more than 6 hours. Which I was dead for 2 days. I’m going into heart surgery right now to get this extra piece of muscle burned. I gotta move on with my life and focus on my career. I love you Keoni just know that, I’m always here for you, love you boo boo your big brother Kalani.”

Although wildly under appreciated in the larger surf world, Kalani’s fans were legion.

Two weeks ago, he posted a skate clip on Instagram that has now become a place where friends are leaving their tributes following his death in Costa Rica yesterday.


View this post on Instagram


A post shared by Kalani David (@kalanidavid)

Hawaiian surf and skate prodigy Kalani David, 24, dies suddenly while surfing in Costa Rica, “It is brutal how biggest souls tend to vanish so randomly.”

"So sad. He was a legend."

The Hawaiian surf and skate prodigy Kalani David, who was twenty-four, has died of a seizure while surfing in Costa Rica, prompting a torrent of grief and love for the troubled kid.

Nathan Florence, Taylor Steele, Eli Olson, Kaipo Guerriero, Pat O’Connell, Zeke Law, poured out their sorrow over David’s death.


View this post on Instagram


A post shared by Peter King (@peterkingphoto)

As a teen, David was ranked higher than superstar skaters Bobby Burnquist and Bucky Laskek all the while competing as a surfer in the World Juniors Championships in Bali.

A rare talent.

Hawaiian-born David suffered from Wolff-Parkinson White Syndrome and seizures had become a part of life, at one point even undergoing open-heart surgery following a six-hour episode at home in Oahu.

More soon.

"I'm sorry for doubting you, Erik..." (pictured).
"I'm sorry for doubting you, Erik..." (pictured).

Doubting Thomas surf fans served heaping pile of steaming crow as it appears World Surf League Finals Day eclipses billion dollar NFL Thursday night opener!

Excuse me sir, may I have some more?

Days ago, core surf fans guffawed and side-eyed as World Surf League CEO Erik Logan released the almost unbelievable numbers surrounding the World Surf League’s Finals Day there on Lower Trestles cobbled stone. Underneath a picture of Logan hoisting a trophy, smiling ear to ear beneath manicured beard, the head of competitive professional surfing declared:

The day will go down as the biggest day in pro surfing. The data and the numbers are undeniable.

– Broke the record for the most watched day in WSL history by 22%
– Over 8.3 million total Livestream views (and still counting)
– Over 1 million viewers on linear TV globally, with more airings to come!



Except, numbers are beginning to trickle in for the National Football League’s first Thursday Night game of the year from two days ago. Sporting fans will know that Amazon purchased the rights to the pre-weekend extravaganza from the League for a whopping 1.2 billion dollars per year and has completely renovated the evening from new announcers, fancy new camera angles, the works.

Historic in that it was the first exclusively streamed NFL game ever, much like the World Surf League streams its contests.

Well, early numbers suggest that the game ranked a bit lower in the home markets of the competing teams (Los Angeles and Kansas City) and will likely reach between 5 and 7 million total views.

Smashed to a pulp by Toledo, Gilmore and the velvety pipes of Joe Turpel!

World Surf League ex-CEO Paul Speaker prophetic!