Revealed: Laird Hamilton punching Kelly Slater in the mouth by releasing ecologically superior luxury watch directly related to unprecedented increase in surf violence!

The Misfits.

Two months ago, the headline Blood Feud: World’s Greatest Surfer Laird Hamilton Punches other World’s Greatest Surfer Kelly Slater in the Mouth by Releasing Even More Ecologically Sound Luxury Watch! rocked the internet. Surfers and non-surfers, alike, flocked in, not able to believe that Hamilton’s offering from relatively new brand Britain’s Bremont was, in fact, better for our planet earth than Kelly Slater’s own from more established Swiss-made Breitling.

While Slater’s did feature a band made from ocean junk on some models, all proceeds from Hamilton go toward preserving the great shark.

Right in the kisser.

Well, little did surfers and non-surfers know, at the time, but the blow felt ’round the world has led directly to a historically unprecedented spike in wanton surf violence. Foils getting smashed, foils smashing people, rocks into boards, police patrolling Windansea after alleged attempted drownings, calls for old-school enforcement, calls for regulation, surf champions being viciously and brutally spanked on the buttocks.

Out of control.

The only thing that could lead to such a bump is cover given by the two world’s greatest surfers metaphorically bashing each other in the luxury watch space.

David Lee Scales and I discussed this, on our weekly chat, and also the fantastic new Museu de Italo Ferriera.

Have you booked your visit?

Get inspired here.