Stalin would go, if he could!
The international sporting community was gobsmacked, minutes ago, when the hottest property in town, our World Surf League, accomplished the only-whispered-about in crowning a second asterisks-laden champion in less than a month. Covid-era National Basketball Association, strike-riddled Major League Baseball, the National Football League has only ever been able to anoint one but, here, the fastest growing franchise ever has nabbed two in some twenty-odd days.
Whoa!
Surf fans marveled, just over a fortnight ago, at Filipe Toledo’s Lower Trestles season ending victory after he failed to paddle for a wave at perfect, though extremely scary, Teahupo’o. That gorgeous asterisks hanging boldly around his neck. It was enough for a year of celebration but now, here, minutes ago, we have longboarding phenom, and all-around-great-guy Harrison Roach undo Hawaii’s Kaniela Stewart for the win.
Absolutely nothing against Roach, I’m sure he walked that nose brilliantly, but the World Surf League made the very thrilling decision, early last year, to suspend sitting champion Joel Tudor and not allow him to compete over some arguably hurtful Instagram posts.
Announcers also refused to speak the winningest-longboarder-of-all-time’s name.
An erasure Stalin could only dream of.
Congratulations are certainly in order for the WSL.
History-making.
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Maybe Joel will be invited into the LIV?
JT pulls a page out of the Bobby Martinez playbook and utters a word against The Mothership. Running your mouth like that starts to make sense after a 5th bong rip. But if the fallout is a suspension and vacating a title, then it’s time to hang up the ju-jit-su and learn to walk on eggshells.
Sex doesn’t work like that Slater is a douche she would use him after sex
WSL have got Tudor down as a disruptive influence all ends up. Maybe he should return to the isle of Anglesey where his forbearers came out of the soil and said go west young man and rip. Henry the 8th came out of that place, Twydyr, and went on to conquer. Joel did good but now he’s at an impasse it would appear. Hope he holds on to his head. Decent waves there on that island I am led to believe. Druids fighting Romans and everyone else who messed with them. Sounds familiar.
Tudor is probably in the ranks of wayne lynch,Phil edwards,billy Hamilton, gerry lopez,Dora,BK, TOM blake,lotsa art first dudes .the fact that he competed is unusual ,but he is without pierre. It is unfortunate that art takes a backseat to proving one superiority to ones fellow artist,surfing is supposed to be fun ,artistic,not a completion for money and fame.
I watched the mens final, I think there was 2.5k watching on the YouTube channel. The level of surfing was far better than anything I have seen Tudor doing. The winners don’t seem to have figured out if it is lame to celebrate or not!
“An erasure Stalin could only dream of.” Very much so, although but Tudor is getting a dose of his own medicine. There is only one Lord of the Ring, only one who can bend it to his will. And he does not share power.
Ooof
Is a long board champ like a tree?
fox called…
https://scontent-sjc3-1.xx….
Steph is even more of an asterisk than Filipe, does that make it three?
Chas, how much of this flagellation of the WSL is your regretting you fucked up in your interview of ELo? And how much is to piss them off so much, that you’ll not be able to get a 2nd one?
What’s Longboarding?
same you do with a bigger stick but…
The WSL is fucking-up so badly with all this that a major chain of Australian supermarkets has started selling asterisks, presumably for household use to cushion all mention of these people. https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Self checkout?
What am I? A narcissist? I avoid mirrors if at all possible. Too much lost youth.
Not as gr8 as the Hurluley Heavily Felted Asterisk of Doubt Trophy Pad, but I appreciate the supermarket chain distro.
Thanks for your support.
I feel this is a Community Effort™ and thus even Cheap Chinese Knockoffs™ are worth having around to ensure that any mention of a current WSL Champion™ is suitably padded and protected from Legitimacy™.
In My Professional Opinon™ , Heavily Ironicised Finger Double Quotes™ will also become A Thing™ and The Market™ will quickly adapt to supply Demand™.
Jeez CB, you’re missing the boat here. These are obviously Deck Hot Chili Pepper Grip™. Soon to be followed by others like Hüsker Deck™, Deckallica™, The Deckies™, Deckie Eilish™, Decks of the Stone Age™, Eagles of Deck Metal™, Midnight Decks™, Motördeck™ and The Deackles™.
Will Tom Curren’s dad (homeless as of a few years ago) get any of the $200k or so that his two boards are expected (by Surfline) to fetch at auction soon?
Nope. Just like the obscure rockabilly artist whose 45 I sold on eBay for 1800 bucks didn’t get a penny. Of course I assume he’s dead from all that crazay rockin and rollin in the 50s.
If core lord surf remains a thing; fuck no
A champion with less of a middle American household name.*